


Not the Life I'd Choose

by Milky_Boy_Blue



Series: Second Summer [4]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Control, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Magic, Post-Weirdmageddon, Protective Siblings, Regret, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-04-07 03:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 56,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19076947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milky_Boy_Blue/pseuds/Milky_Boy_Blue
Summary: A mysterious stranger comes to the town of Gravity Falls on business, a sorceress with powerful magic at her disposal.  She has come to the magic capital of the world to find a select few individuals, as per her clients' requests.  But those unfortunate few will not enjoy what the sorceress or her clients have in store for them...





	1. Chapter 1

“Boosh!” Wendy yelled, snapping her fingers and pointing at the screen.  “You got owned!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dipper grinned, watching as her character disembowelled his on the game screen.  “Laugh it up. I’m just out of practise so when I get back into the swing of things-”

“Oh, what’s that?” asked Wendy, cupping a hand to her ear and cocking her head.  “I think I just heard an excuse. Guess somebody doesn’t like being beaten so badly by a girl.”

Dipper scoffed.  “If that were true I wouldn’t spend so much time with you and Mabel,” he said as they made their way to another game in the arcade, this one a shooter that they had to take in turns as the second gun was stuck in the holster with warning tape and a sign stating it was out of order.

“So I think we’ve got enough time for one more game before my shift at the Shack starts,” Wendy said as she fired at the mutants coming down the dark hallway.  “Anything you want to try?”

“Well, everything, really,” Dipper admitted.  “The arcade back in California is a lot harder to get to so I don’t get to go often.  And they don’t have all the same games. No Fight Fighters, for example.”

“Sure you want to play that?” Wendy asked as she unlocked a rocket launcher and went wild on the abomination charging at her.  “Won’t Rumble and .GIFfany get mad?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Dipper said with an uncertain frown.  “I think it’s a bit like Wreck-It-Ralph? I mean, Soos says he’s been here a few times and .GIFfany’s never attacked or even stalked him.  He’s seen her in a few loading screens but that’s about it and she’s never been too interested in him.  I guess she’s too busy making sure that Rumble doesn’t fool around or something?”

“Yeah, I don’t know who to support on that one,” Wendy grunted.  “A cheater or a stalker? Not sure if either deserves the other.”

“Well Rumble just beat me up and tried to kill Robbie,” Dipper pointed out.  “.GIFfany tried to murder Soos, Melody, me and Mabel.  Mathematically speaking, I’d say that’s worse.”

“Ugh!” groaned Wendy as she managed five headshots in a row.  “Please don’t talk about math! Let your big brain have a rest!  Summer’s meant for dumb things, let it rot with videogames and snacks and stupid crap.”

“How are you so good at this?” Dipper demanded as he watched her finally miss an enemy.  “Do you practice every day or something?”

“Nah,” Wendy shrugged.  “Just got great reflexes.  Besides, it’s way easier to hold this than a real gun.  No kickback or anything. Plus, the infinite ammo is nice.”

“Huh,” said Dipper, considering the plastic shotgun she was firing and loading with ease.  “I’ve never even held a gun before. What’s it like?”

“It’s not for everyone,” she said, pausing her assault to give him a serious look.  “Not everyone has it in them to hold one and there’s nothing wrong with that. I like them but I also like axes and kicking monsters in the face.  I’ve grown up with them but that doesn’t mean everyone should. They’re dangerous and Dad always made sure we knew all the safety measures by heart before he’d even let us hold an unloaded weapon.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Dipper said slowly.  “Grunkle Ford said the same thing when Mabel asked to use his laser pistol.  He gave an hour long speech about safety and risks and stuff. Mabel lasted about ten minutes before she got bored and tried to make her own version with confetti.  Besides,” he added, “I don’t think Mom or Dad would like it if we did have a try. I mean, they weren’t happy when they saw one of Mabel’s scrapbook pictures where she held a crossbow.  They had a big, loud talk with our Grunkles when they came over for Hanukkah.”

“Ahh, Hanukkah,” sighed Wendy wistfully.  “Another holiday I don’t get to experience.  Uh, it wasn’t rude that I only sent you guys a Christmas present but not anything for Hanukkah, was it?”  she asked. “I mean, I didn’t even know you celebrated both until-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Dipper said dismissively.  “It’s really only because Mabel insists we celebrate both.  And that’s just so we get more presents. Just sending us a Christmas present is fine.  Even if she says otherwise, just ignore her. We get plenty and it shouldn’t be about the presents.”

“Dude!” She laughed.  “You sound so old! Of course it’s about presents and cookies and Christmas trees and whatever it is that happens at Hanukkah!  That’s the whole point! Makes life fun! Better than being forced to fend for yourselves in the woods with your family,” she grunted.

“I don’t know, I think that sounds kinda fun,” Dipper said.  “Well, to me at least. I mean, I’ve liked the lessons you’ve been giving Mabel and me.  Wouldn’t it be more of that? Learning to fend for yourselves, all the tricks-”

“Being yelled at constantly, no shower, no phone,” Wendy countered.  “Forced to make your own bed, shelter, food, putting up with your brothers wrestling and then knocking over whatever it was you just built because two of them wanted the same stupid stick for their tent and they just have to throw each other into everything they see.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds tough,” Dipper agreed.  “But at least it helped you with Weirdmageddon and-”

“Shh!” hissed Wendy, looking around quickly, leaving an opportunity for the mutants to finally reach her.  “Don’t say that word in public places!”

“Oh!” said Dipper, looking around in embarrassment.  “Sorry! I just-”

“Not your fault,” she told him firmly as she finally succumbed to the sheer number of mutants and watched the game calculate her score.  “Look, dude, I’m on your side. I hate calling it Never Mind All That more than anybody. But you need to be careful. You can’t - you can’t say it in places where kids can hear you.”

“Oh,” said Dipper.  “Oh,” he said again, much more quietly as he thought about how badly the adults had been affected and thought of how much worse the children of the town must have suffered.

“Yeah,” Wendy sighed miserably, thinking of Mabel.  She watched her friend and knew from the change in his expression that his train of thought had also led to his sister.  “How is she?”

“She’s fi-”

“Dipper,”  she said. “It’s me.  Tell me. Please.”

Dipper looked at her and glanced around but saw no one else at the corner of the arcade they were habiting.  But he still didn’t want to take a risk that they could be overheard so he took her by the hand and pulled her towards a simulator game with curtains that offered them more privacy as he inserted the tokens and sat on the seat, letting the opening cutscene play to cover their conversation.  “I don’t know,” he told his friend. “I think that time travel incident got to her more than we first thought. I mean, she already blamed herself for all those people but now I think she’s blaming herself for the Cipher Cult thing too. That the people they’ve killed are her fault. She’s been to see Professor Passuum every day, Wendy, and that’s good but Mabel said the Professor told her that things are probably going to get worse before they get better.  And - and I don’t know how much worse they can get.” He rubbed his arms awkwardly, still not used to wearing one of the numerous hoodies Wendy had bought for him that covered his arms. “She’s crying a lot,” he told her. “And Mabel doesn’t really cry, Wendy. But sometimes she’ll be singing or dancing or doing her art or just a random Mabel thing and then she’ll stop suddenly and she’ll get this look in her eye, like she’s just realised something terrible and she’ll make an excuse to leave for a minute.  But we all know what she’s doing.” He pulled the ushanka off his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “She always comes back with red eyes and she’s quiet for a while. We don’t know what to say to her or even if we should say anything,” he sighed. “I just wish I knew what to do.”

“You’re doing it, Dipper,” Wendy told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.  “You’re there for her. She already knows you’re always going to be there when she really needs you and you’re not pushing her.  What happened is something that’s hard for her to talk about, especially with people she loves. But she’s seeing the Prof so you know she’s talking to somebody.”

“Yeah,” Dipper sighed as the game over screen appeared.  “I just wish there was more I could do.”

“Dude,” she said, her voice firm.  “Look at me and my brothers. We drive each other crazy!  You are, like, the best brother I’ve ever seen! And I’m not exaggerating when I say that.  I’ve never seen anyone take such good care of his sister, especially not when Mabel can be so hard to handle sometimes.  But you always look out for her anyway. Mabel doesn’t need you to do more, you’re the best damn brother in the world!”

“Hmm,” said Dipper, his tone uncertain as they left the simulator to return to the shooter Wendy had been playing.  “Oh, hey,” he said, distracted by the screen that was still waiting for player input. “You got a high score! Nice!”

“See?”  Wendy elbowed him playfully.  “I told you I had good reflexes.  But when this other gun is fixed you and me are going to decimate these suckers.  Real monsters don’t stand a chance against Corduroy and Pines so these fakes one are so doomed,” she said as she selected the first three letters of her name.

“Wait,” said Dipper, grabbing the fake weapon to stop her targeting the confirmation button, his eyes narrowing as he read the top ten list.  “Hold on, don’t confirm it yet,” he told her before he ran to several other games in the arcade.

Wendy raised her eyebrow and watched him dart about before he returned to her, his brow furrowed in concentration.  “We good, man?” she asked him. “So what was that about?” she queried when he nodded and she finally put her name as number eight on the top ten.

“See that?”  The boy pointed at the top name on the scoreboard.  “That’s the first place on pretty much every shooter and racing game in here.  I was just wondering who it is.” He narrowed his eyes and stroked his chin thoughtfully.  “Who is PEN? Is it short for a first name? Maybe it’s the first three letters of a nickname?  Why are they so good? It’s a mystery,” he muttered quietly, thinking hard. “A mystery I’m going to solve.”

Wendy crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow again.  “Seriously?”

“What?” asked Dipper, confused by the tone in her voice.

“You’re Dipper Pines,” she reminded him.  “The kid who discovered the Society of the Blind Eye.  Defeated Gideon in his giant robot. Found that secret bunker.  You’ve been back for almost three weeks and the first mystery I hear you mention is who’s the best player in the arcade?  How bored are you?” she demanded.

“What?” he said, turning red.  “I mean - it’s still a mystery!  Not all of Sherlock Holmes' cases were amazing!  There were hints that he did more in between the big ones and - yeah, okay, pretty bored,” he admitted, faltering under her stare.  “But I solved so many last year!” he pointed out. “It’s like all the big mysteries were tied together and now we know about Grunkle Ford and that McGucket was the Gobblewonker so I’m kind of stuck.”  He fidgeted uncomfortably. “It’s not my fault if I solved most of the mysteries last year,” he muttered.

Wendy rolled her eyes.  “You know what, I won’t judge.  You be you. But don’t expect me to help you stake out this place if this is the best mystery you’ve got.  I want real adventure.” She took out her phone and checked the time. “I’ve gotta go anyway.”

“Okay, let’s go,” said Dipper, tearing his eyes from the high score.

“Actually, dude,” Wendy said slowly, “I think you should just stay here.  Solve your mystery. Or at least play some more games.”

“...Why?” he asked, the suspicion at her tone evident in his voice.

Wendy sighed.  “Look, dude, I’m going to be straight with you,” she said, taking a knee to look him in the eye.  “I’m worried about you.”

He blinked in surprise at the expression on her face as she said it.  “What? Why? I’m fine, I’m-”

“I know you’re fine,” she said.  “But I’m still worried. You’ve been hanging around Mabel all summer.  Every day. I know you two have a great relationship but you even wanted Mabel to join us for dinner and movie night at my place when that’s always been our thing.”

“Well I just thought-”

“Dipper,” she said.  “You know Dad likes our meat fresh.  Remember how freaked out you were the first time you saw him skin that deer?  I don’t think Mabel would have gotten over that as quick.”

“Okay, maybe she shouldn’t be there for food,” Dipper agreed.  “But I think the movie night would-”

“She’d hate it,” Wendy said with confidence.  “Whenever she’s seen us do it at your place all she ever does is make fun of us.  And you’re not really doing it because you want her to have fun, it’s because you want to have fun but more importantly you don’t want to leave her in case she needs you.  Look how hard it was for me to get you to come to this arcade without her. It’s great that you want to look out for your sister but you still need some time for yourself.”

“I don’t know, Wendy,” he said, glancing at his watch.  “I mean, we’ve been here for a long time and what if she needs me?”

“If she needs you she can call you,” Wendy said, taking off his hat and hitting him with it lightly.  “Use that big brain! It’s what phones are for. If we need you then the Stans or Soos can come pick you up or take her to you.  I know this summer hasn’t been as fun as the last,” she said quietly. “And that it’s been especially tough on Mabel. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have some fun for yourself, Dipper.  It’s what Mabel would want,” she added as she saw him struggle with the decision. “She wouldn’t want you to stop having fun for her sake. She already feels guilty for too much already. She wants you to be happy.”

“Alright,” he said eventually.  “But if she needs me-” he began quickly before Wendy cut him off.

“She won’t.  ‘Cause she’s got us.  There’s no Gideon or Cipher anymore, Dipper.  No big bad to torment you. She won’t go deep into the woods for an adventure without you and she’s got Candy and Grenda with her right now and even when they leave she’ll still have the rest of us.  Okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, sticking his hands in his pocket and hunching his soldiers in defeat.

She grinned at him at punched his shoulder.  “Look at you! Moping ‘cause someone older than you gave you good advice.  You really are a teen!”

He chuckled and said goodbye to her, looking at the games around him.  Wendy was right, he did need some time to himself. He felt slightly guilty about leaving Mabel but also knew that if their roles were reversed he would rather his sister still have fun instead of following him all the time.  And true, this wasn’t a mystery like the Author’s identity, but maybe that was what he needed. Something a little small, childish even, just to ease him back into things after being away for so long. Besides, he reasoned as he tried the game that Wendy had excelled at before, this was Gravity Falls.  The next adventure was probably just around the corner.

 

* * *

 

Just around the corner, the sorceress stepped off the bus and looked around the town with a disappointed frown.   Everything looked so...normal. This was meant to be the place with the greatest concentration of magic in the world? According to her research it was and she was very proud of her accuracy, especially in regards to the study of magic, something that usually laughed in the face of the scientific method before adding a slap and dancing into the starry night on a stairway made of rainbows.

But Gravity Falls didn’t seem too different from any of the other hick towns she’d visited on her travels.  The weirdest thing seemed to be a man criticising a woodpecker, but she’d seen people with stranger pets than that, even in the cities.  Then again, the lack of fantastical sights could just be poor timing on her part. The rules of magic were fickle and sometimes magical creatures or anomalies would hide themselves if the circumstances were not right.  Which could mean she was on the wrong street, arrived on the wrong day of the week, or even just wearing the wrong pair of socks.

Night would make it easier to learn more.  Most magical creatures and events seemed to prefer the dark for some reason.  She could cast a few spells later to prove that her research had detected what her eyes couldn’t.  If she had time. She had a deadline to meet and her clients had promised her a hefty bonus if she accomplished her task even earlier than she had originally told them.  Which was unlikely but she wasn’t rich enough yet to dismiss that kind of money.

She had already booked a room at the motel just outside of town and settled in nicely, securing her potions and most of her charms behind a ‘do not disturb’ sign, a locked door and several protective wards that would messily destroy anyone foolish enough to touch her equipment.  All she had with her now were a few charms she kept for protection, one or two potions for emergencies, and her laptop. Besides, if all else failed she still had her mind and that had never failed her.

She walked into the diner and settled into a booth, smiling politely at the older waitress with the bad eye as she pulled her laptop out of its bag and checked the information on her first acquisition, the only one that had been specified.  Which made things easier, since trying to find the right qualifications for the other two would be frustrating and likely time consuming. All three of her customers had been adamant that she cast the spell on all three of them at once, which also meant she couldn’t get her bonus straight away.  They had been a stubborn bunch and she would be glad to complete this job, spend their money on a little vacation and never have to deal with their whining again. That well deserved vacation was so close now...

She was just thinking of the sun at the resort when her first target appeared right beside her.

“What can I get you?” Pacifica Northwest asked the teenage girl with the dark clothes, darker hair and expensive laptop.

The girl gave a start at the younger teen, looking her up and down.  “You work here?” the older girl asked her in surprise.

Pacifica looked down at her waitress uniform, noticeably cleaner than everyone else’s but still clearly the same as the others, albeit smaller.  “Obviously,” she grunted, almost rolling her eyes before she caught herself. _Easy, Pacifica,_ she reminded herself.   _Happy thoughts, less sarcasm, more polite greetings and introduce yourself the way you’d want someone to introduce themselves to you!_  “I mean,” she cleared her throat quickly.  “Hi,” she said again, trying to smile at the older teen who was watching her with a raised eyebrow.  “I’m Pacifica. What would you like?”

“Er, this,” said the sorceress, selecting something that sounded somewhat appetising from the menu. “And a coffee.  Black.”

 _Girl really likes her black,_ Pacifica thought, taking in her clothes but never said a word as she wrote down the order and excused herself.

The sorceress turned back to her laptop and made a few notes on the document she’d made on Pacifica Northwest, realising that the first part of her mission might be even easier than she expected as her food arrived and she ate in silence.

“Aren’t you Pacifica Northwest?” The sorceress asked when Pacifica returned to refill her coffee and clear her plates.  “I recognise you from your picture in Better Families Than Yours magazine. Why are you working here?”

Pacifica hesitated, a part of her wanting to tell the stranger that it was none of her business but unsure if that was perfectly normal response to a question like that or a rude, Old Pacifica response.  “A girl needs to earn her own money,” she said at last, hoping her answer was vague enough and making a mental note to ask Dipper or Mabel about the appropriate responses to such a question.

“Oh I hear that,” agreed the customer, nodding sagely.  “Girl’s gotta be independent, not rely on your parents for support!  Mind you, it’s easy for me to say that since I don’t have any.”

“Oh,” said Pacifica, guiltily remembering the many jokes she and her parents had made before she had learned that mocking people without parents was generally frowned upon in polite society.  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine,” the older girl said with a dismissive shrug.  “Like I said, taught me independence. Look at me, still a teen and already starting my own business.  That’s why I recognised you, I know all about rich people because I’m going to be one someday. You wait and see.”

“Uh,” said Pacifica hesitantly, hearing something in her tone that reminded her a bit too much of her old self.  “Listen, Miss, I’ve been rich. Insanely rich. Now I’m just wealthy but I still do this job to make sure I’ve got my own money, not just my Dad’s.  And I’m way happier. I might miss my ponies but the friends I’ve made since losing most of our money have more than made up for it. It might be cliche but money isn’t everything.”

The older girl nodded, considering her words.  “Well, you’re right about that,” she agreed. “I like my job.  Makes me proud that no one else can do it as well as I can. Sure, I could do other things with my talents, make the money come in faster.  But I want to excel at this, you know? Make my name known. Let people know that I’ve earned my riches instead of just inheriting them.”

“Uh, right,” said Pacifica, who came from a long line of people who had inherited riches they never deserved.  “That’s admirable. So what kind of business is it you do?”

“Right now I’m just doing a bit of headhunting,” the older teen answered with a scowl.  “Total waste of my talents but you’ve got to work your way to the top, right? Besides,” she added with a grin, “the rewards feel twice as good when you know you’ve put in the work to earn them, am I right?”

Pacifica smiled, thinking of how the few dollars in tips she made could make her feel better about herself than a million dollar necklace ever did before her family lost their status as billionaires.  “Yeah,” she agreed, as she gathered the cutlery. “That’s definitely true. I just wished I’d learned that when - _ow!_ ”

“You okay?” asked the dark haired teen, looking at her in concern before she saw the blood dripping from the tip of the blonde’s finger.  “Oh - here, let me help you,” she said, taking some paper napkins and wrapping them around the finger.

“Thanks,” said Pacifica, surprised that she had managed to cut herself so easily on the knife.  “I’ll be back in a minute,” she said, rushing to wash the wound. When she had done that and added a band-aid to the small cut she returned to find the customer gone, the coffee drained and the the money on the table.  “Huh,” she said, counting the tip. “Maybe she’s not like the old me after all.”

Outside, the sorceress bit into one of cakes the one-eyed waitress had suggested to her, claiming that the Northwest girl had made them herself.  “Not bad,” she said, considering the treat. Then she took a silver cigarette case from her jacket, opening it to reveal several glass vials, most holding a variety of liquids.  She took one of the empty vials, uncorked it and held the blood stained napkin above it, watching as the blood cleanly separated from the paper to land in the glass before she returned the cork and put it back in the silver case.  “Target acquired,” she said smugly as she finished the cake and wiped her mouth with the now perfectly clean paper.

 

* * *

 

Dipper looked through the notes he had made about PEN.  So far he had gathered that they were obviously skilled, at shooters in particular, but were also adept at several racing games.  Some of the games were especially difficult, leaving him to suspect that whoever they were, they enjoyed a challenge. Their name hadn’t come up yet on any of the older games, so clearly they either cared more about graphics than he did or just had poor taste.  Or both. He bit at the pen thoughtfully as he considered the name. PEN. What was that short for? He couldn’t think of any male names that started with those three letters so maybe it was a girl? Penny? Penelope? He couldn’t think of any others and going to the library to search for names would be more fun than just looking them up online.  If it was a girl, that could make his search a bit easier and a bit more interesting since there weren’t very many girls who visited the arcade. Candy did but as far as he knew Wendy only dropped by when one of her friends also felt like going, just like Mabel. Of course, he could just ask Soos or one of the people who worked at the arcade if they knew who it was but that would take all of the intrigue out of it.  He paused his chewing as he thought about what Wendy had said.

She was right.  He was bored. Not because he thought that he’d solved all of the mysteries in the Falls, he felt sure that there was more out there than any one person could find in a lifetime.  Ford was proof of that since he’d told Dipper repeatedly how impressed he was with all of the discoveries the younger twins had made that first summer, believing that the summer somehow brought out more of the weird and the wild than any other time of the year.  But there was no big mystery anymore. The adventures of this summer had been different. They’d seemed smaller in scale, less epic. He now knew most of the strange goings on in town. Last year alone he had been in the supernatural black market, helped defeat an eldritch being, played his part in saving the world.  This time there was no big mystery, and no big bad either as Wendy had put it. Which was a good thing! He should be pleased with himself. And he was. But he just wanted...more.

“Great, now I sound like a Disney princess,” he muttered, then quickly looked around to make sure that no one had heard him.  Which is when he saw a figure, dark hoodie pulled up, sunglasses on despite the low lights of the arcade, making their way towards one of the more difficult games with an approach that was so obviously planned to avoid drawing anyone’s attention that it couldn’t not be noticed.  Thankfully, this was an arcade so everyone was too focused on the screens to even give a glance at the person failing so miserably at stealth.

Dipper stared at them, recognising them instantly despite their attempt at a disguise.  “You have got to be kidding me,” he said, as he saw them play the game with obvious expertise and even more obvious relish.  Shaking his head, he made his way towards them and stood behind them until they had finished and added their initials to the high score again.  “Pacifica Elise Northwest,” he sighed, making her jump. “I really should have figured this out sooner.”

“Dipper?” she asked in surprise, turning red under the hood and sunglasses.  “What are you doing here? How did you know it was me?” she demanded.

“First, it’s an arcade and I love video games,” he answered.  “I’ve been looking forward to coming back here all year. Secondly, I’ve been wondering who put those high scores on.  Everybody else I know uses the first three or four letters of their first name or something like that. Then I saw you and put two and two together.  And that’s not a very good disguise. I mean sunglasses and a hood? Seriously? You know you’re the only person in town that size who can afford sunglasses like that.  Also, I can see your blonde hair under your hoodie and the hood itself looks weird with that bell hair style thing you have going on. Are you glaring at me? I mean, your mouth tightened but I can’t see anything else with those big glasses so I’m assuming you are.”

She removed the glasses to reveal that she was indeed glaring at him.  “Keep your voice low, alright?” she hissed at him. “I don’t want people to know it’s me.”

“Why?” he asked, perplexed.  “Because you’re a Northwest? I thought you were past that whole thing about pretending you’re above everybody else?”

“That’s not it,” she said, putting her glasses back on.  “I just - I just don’t want people to know I’m a girl. Understand?”

“No,” Dipper said, even more confused now.  “Why would that matter? I mean, Mabel, Candy and Wendy come here and they’re all girls.  Why should you hide it?”

“It’s different for them,” she grunted.  “I get - I get hit on, okay? By a couple of guys who like to make comments.  And I’m not comfortable with it. I just want to come here after work and blow off some steam.  Not to deal with guys and their stupid jokes.”

“Oh,” said Dipper, coughing into his fist.  “I, er, I can’t really give you advice with that,” he admitted.

“Gee, what a shock,” she said and he could tell she was rolling her eyes behind the glasses.

“Look, why not talk to Wendy?” he suggested.  “She could-”

“No.”

They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

“What is it with you two?” he asked her.  “When Mabel said she was going to spend last Thursday with you, Wendy got the same look in her eye I imagine you’ve got now.  What happened?”

“That...that’s between us,” Pacifica answered with a shrug.  “I don’t need to be friends with all of your friends, do I?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then it shouldn’t matter why we don’t like each other.  Look, I just came here to have some fun, I don’t want to talk about Wendy, okay?  Not everyone likes her as much as you do,” she muttered before she saw him flinch.

“That-” he rubbed his arm uncomfortably as he avoided looking at her.  “That isn’t any of your business,” he finished, regretting his words but not enough to offer any alternatives.

“Oh!  No!” she said as she saw him turn red.  “I’m - I didn’t mean it like that! I just-”

“It’s fine,” he grunted.  “Just - just leave it okay?”

“Dipper, I am so sorry,” she said , removing her glasses again so he could see the regret in her eyes.  “Please let me make it up to you, okay? You want a game? I’ll pay and I can give you some tips?”

He glared at her for a moment, embarrassed at just how clear his feelings were to everyone when all he really wanted was to finally move on and angry that she had reminded him of that.  Then he took a deep breath. “It’s okay,” he said, offering her a small smile. “I know you didn’t mean anything. I just...you know what? Never mind. I’ll pay my own way but I’d love to play a game or two with you.  Got any recommendations?”

She grinned.  “I might have a few,” she said.

She showed him several of the shooters, her speciality, but also one or two racing games, giving him several pointers that helped him.  The pointers were useful but they couldn’t make up for the lack of experience with them and he was never near the high score on any of them but he still enjoyed himself.  In return, he showed her several of the older games which she struggled with but admitted weren’t as bad as she had thought they would be and agreed to give them a chance again in the future.

“So you’ve fought this guy?” she asked him as Rumble McSkirmish launched a spinning kick.  “For real?”

“Yeah and those pixels are sharp,” Dipper grunted.  “That was not a fun day. For a number of reasons. Hah!” he cried as landed the final blow.  “Success!”

“Okay, maybe fighting games aren’t too bad,” she said as they walked away from the game.  “But I’m still an FPS girl. What?” she asked, catching the smile on his lips.

“Nothing,” he shrugged.  “It’s just that I beat you at that game and you didn’t get upset.  Being number one isn’t a big deal any more. I’m glad you’ve changed.”

“Oh,” she said.  “That. Well, yeah, I still like to win.  A lot. But you’re right. It’s more important now that I have fun.  Plus it helps that Dad isn’t always on my back about it.”

“Uh, yeah, how is your Dad?” Dipper asked, uncertain what to say about Preston Northwest without insulting him in front of his daughter.

“He’s still a jerk,” Pacifica grunted.  “But it’s not as bad,” she said quickly.  “I mean, we don’t need to be the best at everything now that we’re not rich enough to get away with insulting people and then paying them to thank us for it.  Yes, we did that. He’s focusing on work a lot more now, trying to get the family fortune back again. Which is tricky since he’s having to pay to fix the mud-flap factory because that’s actually cheaper in the long run than bribing the environmental agencies and papers to not talk about the pollution.  He also made a big deal about the Nathaniel Northwest statue being destroyed. Arguing that it’s a representation of the Northwest name and that it should be fixed. Of course, he can’t afford to put too much money into it himself so he wants the town to pay the rest but nobody else wants to.”

“Yeah, Ford suggested they melt it down and make a statue of McGucket instead,” Dipper commented.  “I think that’s a good idea. He deserves it after the way he was treated by the town for so long.”

“Yeah,” Pacifica said quietly, remembering the way she had also made fun of the old man.  The old man who had never said a bad word about her in all that time, treating her with nothing but kindness.  Even the first time they had encountered each other after he had bought the Northwest Manor, he had only told her that any of the items from her old home were hers if she still wanted them, never mentioning that the last time they met she had to be pressured into even holding hold his hand.  “I think he’s the best choice.”

“You weren’t the only one who was unfair to him,” Dipper said as if reading her mind.  “But he’s forgiven all of us so the least we can do is let him know we’re sorry and that we’ll do better.”  He checked his watch. “Anyway, I’d better go. I, er, I had fun, Pacifica. It’s good to find someone who likes games as much as I do.  We should do it again.”

“Okay!” said Pacifica, clearing her throat when she realised she’d said that too quickly.  “I mean, yes. Definitely. Tomorrow?”

“Um, I’ve made plans for tomorrow,” Dipper said, not mentioning who those plans were with.  “What about the day after? Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Pacifica agreed, nodding too quickly before she caught herself.  “I mean, sure. I’m only working that morning. Same time?”

“I’ll be here,” Dipper promised as he waved goodbye to her.

“It’s a date,” Pacifica said as she waved back.  Her eyes widened as she realised what she said and froze mid-wave but relaxed when Dipper didn’t react, unable to hear her over the sounds of blasters, explosions, engines and beeps.  “Okay,” she told herself, sliding into a convenient racing game as her knees wobbled. “He didn’t hear you. Not that it would matter. Why would it? Not like I meant it’s a date-date.  Just two friends. That’s all. I mean, he comes here all the time with Wendy and they’re just friends. Aren’t they? Of course they are! They’d better be. Yep. All the time. With Wendy.  So this means it’s nothing special. Nothing special at all.” She saw her reflection in the game screen, androgynous and forgettable. “Maybe I should wear something nicer. Just this once.”

 

* * *

 

Back in her motel room, the sorceress closed her laptop with a groan after the exhausting video chat with her clients.  Why did so many people complain when they asked her to cast a spell? Magic wasn’t instant access to miracles. She wasn’t a goddess!   If she were, she wouldn’t need to sell her talents like this or at least wouldn't need to put in so much work for their money. They’d probably seen too many episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and thought it was as simple as a finger point.  She considered her clients’ ages and then decided that was a bad example. Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie would be much more likely, all that instantaneous power in the blink of an eye for comedy’s sake. Honestly, if she had that kind of power she wouldn’t need to waste her time with people like them, would she?

She lifted the vial with the blood and glared at it.  You think they’d be happy that she’d found the first so quickly but _noooo_.  They wanted all three right here and now.  You could give some people the moon and they’d complain that you hadn’t gift-wrapped it first.  She briefly considered making a voodoo doll of her clients while she could but decided against it.  It would take too long and just lead to even more complaints. She’d rather they be out of her hair than in pain.

Instead, she returned to the laptop, scrolling through the other town residents she had managed to gather information on.  But the information was basic and there was no point in going through all of them. Instead, she selected the person that best matched the criteria one of her clients had given her, vague though that was.  But if it didn’t work out for them then that wasn’t her problem. She’d put in the effort, make the instructions as detailed as possible just so they couldn’t blame her when they eventually messed up. The whole point of instruction manuals wasn’t just for the user’s benefit, after all.  It was also so the company couldn’t be blamed when the idiot who didn’t read them got themselves killed. So she did the work regardless, just to protect herself. She was too smart to leave these things up to chance. She read about her next target and saw that they worked at a local tourist trap.  That would be the best place to look first and even if she wasn’t there she could just cast a spell to locate her later. Maybe she’d also find someone else who would meet the requirements for her final client? She made her way to the small bed and waved away the wards she had placed on the old-fashioned doctor’s bag where she stored most of her essential magical equipment.  “One down,” she said as she carefully stored the vial with Pacifica’s blood inside. “Two to go.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

“You have a date with Pacifica!?” Mabel squeed, the sound so high several customers in the Shack winced and one baby woke with a cry, earning her a very stern glance from the mother.

“Mabel, it is not a date!” Dipper snapped, fixing a row of question mark t-shirts.  “I just had fun with her yesterday and we’re going to spend some time at the arcade again tomorrow.”

“So you’ve agreed to meet up with a pretty girl and have fun with no other friends around.”  Mabel put her hands behind her back and swung back and forth on her toes. “Sound like a date to me,” she said with a smug smile.

“It’s not!”  He looked around at the customers in embarrassment, regretting mentioning this to his sister where other people could hear it.

“Gotta side with Dipper on this one, Mabel,” Wendy said, leaning on the counter, he chin in her hand.  “Me and Thompson had ice-cream together last week and that definitely wasn’t a date. Plus, Dipper’s done the same with Candy and that wasn’t a date either.”

“That’s different!” said Mabel, waving away their logic.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t ship Candy with Dipper,” Mabel said, as if that made everything clear.  “Anymore. That means it doesn’t count.”

“Mabel, that makes no sense!”

“Sure it does, Dipper.  If you do normal, everyday things with someone I don’t ship you with then I just dismiss them as nothing special.  But when you do those exact same things with someone I do ship you with then suddenly it becomes a big deal and I blow it way out of proportion!  That’s how shipping works.”

Wendy and Dipper both groaned and rolled their eyes.  “Mabel, I don’t think I’m comfortable with you shipping me.  With anyone. I just want to enjoy the time I spend with Pacifica and not need to worry about anything more than being friends.”

“Again, I side with Dipper on this,” Wendy said.  “You kids are still too young to be worried about romance.  Ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Take it from the old lady of our little trio.  Enjoy yourselves, friends are way more important than being part of a couple, even at my age.  So that goes double for you two young’uns.”

“But you’ve had loads of boyfriends!” Mabel pointed out.

Wendy scoffed.  “Yeah, and look where that’s got me.  Glad to be rid of them. I’ve had way more fun with you two than any of them.  I mean, Robbie was the best and I’d pick either of you over him any day.” She grinned.  “But I don’t need to pick since you mostly come as a package. See? Who need boys when I’ve got friends like you.”

“Aww,” said Mabel.  “That’s cute. But I’m still shipping Pacipper.  On the other hand, you may have a point. What’s most important is that you have fun.  You can marry her later.”

“Um, thanks?” said Dipper, giving her a confused look.  “That was a little easier than I thought it would be.”

Mabel shrugged.  “Gotta try and stop pushing you,” she told him.  “It’s your life. I spent too much of last summer chasing after the idea of a dumb summer romance.  I don’t want you to be that way.”

Wendy gave her friend an approving smile as her brother just became even more confused at the sudden acceptance but knew that it might not last for too long.  Mabel was still Mabel and sometimes her spontaneity could overpower whatever lessons she’d learned. But Wendy was also glad that Mabel seemed a bit happier today, thinking about what Dipper had told her yesterday.  Maybe she hadn’t been here long enough to see her get upset but she also suspected that Mabel was actually glad Dipper had finally gotten some alone time. Mabel had admitted that she regretted dragging Dipper into so many of her schemes last summer, even when he had wanted do other things.  And while Wendy knew she probably needed her brother more than ever, she also knew that Mabel didn’t want to try and keep him away from what he wanted, to try and make sure that this summer wasn’t all about her.

“Nice hat.”

Wendy turned to the teen girl in the dark clothes, eying her hat with obvious desire.  “Very nice hat,” the customer said again, nodding approvingly. “Where did you get it?”

“Well, originally it came from here,” Wendy said, standing up a little straighter in case Melody or Soos saw her talking to a customer.  “But we don’t sell them any more. Sorry.”

It was true.  The trucker hat with the blue pine tree symbol had been one of the most popular items after the events of Weirdmageddon, partially because that Halloween several of the townsfolk chose to dress up as some of the people or creatures who had helped defeat Bill Cipher.  It was generally seen as a way of acknowledging the bravery they had shown since the Never Mind All That Act made it impossible to give any true reward to the heroes of that day.

As such, the Mystery Shack had sold almost all of its pine tree hats for costumes, being the second most common costume after Soos since there were far more question mark t-shirts available and many chose to honour the man who had roamed the wastes of Weirdmageddon, helping people wherever he could.  Stanley Pines may have been seen as the true hero of that day but Soos, Dipper and Mabel costumes were easier to create and they played no small part in the final battle themselves. Besides, Stan may have been the one who sacrificed himself to save the world but he was still a jerk. A heroic jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.

It had been a glorious Halloween, not a monster costume in sight since the memories of the real monsters were still a little too fresh for that.  Wendy in particular had enjoyed it, glad to see the town finally relax, even if just for one night. She briefly considered going out as Mabel and getting her boyfriend at the time to dress up as Dipper but that relationship ended in excessive violence until the police dragged her off him.  So she went as Dipper instead, reasoning that she already had the original pine tree hat anyway. Besides, Mabel had said that it would have been weird to have a couple dress as siblings and that she was sure Dipper felt honoured that Wendy had chosen to go as him. They had traded many photos, Dipper and Mabel excited to see the town do so much and even helped judge the best costumes.  Dipper and Mabel themselves had went out as Ford and Stan, respectively. No one in Piedmont knew who they were dressed as but Ford later told them that he had been very touched and honoured and that when Stanley had first seen the pictures he suddenly caught something in his eye and had to go to the opposite end of the boat.

But that had been a long time ago and now Wendy owned the only pine tree hat in the Shack since Soos said that he wouldn’t restock the store with any more, claiming that it was Dipper’s symbol and he didn’t feel comfortable selling them for too long.  But right until the final hat was sold, he told the tour buses of the adventures he had with the twins, one who always wore that pine tree hat, pointing out they were of limited stock and available in the gift shop and going fast, the prices were rising as the numbers were falling so get them while you can!

Stan was proud.

But the sorceress didn’t know any of that and even if she did would only care about the fantastical parts of the story, for all the wrong reasons.  “Well how much for yours?” She asked. She already had several items in her hands, a few with edges sharp enough to give her all the blood she needed after a quick spell.  Her second client had wanted someone young, strong, healthy and beautiful. The moment she had stepped into the tourist trap and saw the redhead at the counter she knew she’d selected the right person.  But she’d muttered a few incantations under her breath to double check. And sure enough, the magic told her this girl was as strong and powerful as an ox on steroids and would probably live to over a hundred, even with all those snacks she liked to consume as she didn’t work.  Her eyes fell on the ropey arms and flat stomach and chest, wondering where the redhead put it all as she thought of her own figure and decided she’d need to visit the gym as well as the spa when she arrived at the resort.

“Not for sale,” Wendy said firmly.

“I’ll give you fifty bucks?” the sorceress offered, showing her the money.

“Not for a thousand,” Wendy told her, giving a slight wink to Dipper as she said it, making him grin.

“Damn,” sighed the sorceress.  “Oh well, can’t say I didn’t try.”  She put the junk she didn’t actually want on the counter and considered the hat she actually did.  It was time for a change. Too much black. It was good every now and then and it was definitely slimming but it was getting a bit cliche.  She’d have to try a few different styles. And it was a nice hat. A bit worn with a burn mark on the side but a few spells could fix that. Pity she wasn’t willing to sell.

This time the cut was much deeper than needed and Wendy quickly went for the first aid kit and Dipper hurried to help her as Mabel took over at the counter.

The sorceress watched her go, the mask of concern as easy to wear as last time, even if this time it hid self-satisfaction instead of indifference.   _Two down, one to go,_ she thought as she slipped the cork back on under the counter, the other girl too busy wiping away the blood and replacing the blood-stained items to notice.

But the final target would be difficult.  She hadn’t managed to narrow it down to just one person yet.  The criteria was even vaguer this time. Young, pretty, bright smile, energetic.  She might as well have added female and human to the list, it was so generalised. She was half tempted to just trip the first girl she saw and use the blood left on the ground from a skinned knee but knew that wouldn’t be good enough.  If they wanted something more specific, why not give specifics? If only there was someone who stood out that little bit more.

“Are you a goth?”

The sorceress blinked in surprise at the young girl at the counter who was staring at her with a wide grin.  “What?”

“I said, are you a goth?”  the girl asked. “‘Cause you’ve got the whole all black thing going for you and you’re pulling it pretty well, if you don’t mind me saying so.”  The girl winked and clicked her tongue as she pointed at her. “I think I’d like to be a goth when I’m older, maybe fifteen? I think it looks kinda cool and I can do the whole grim and serious thing pretty well.  Wanna see?” Without waiting for a reply the girl waved her hand in front of her face, the bright smile being replaced with a sombre expression, her eyes serious. It lasted for a second before the girl replaced it with a broad grin.  “See? Pretty goth, amiright?”

The sorceress stared at the glowing girl.  “What’s your name, kid?” she asked with a smile.

“Mabel Pines!” she answered proudly.  “My family’s kind of a big deal around here.  If you go to the superstore and tell them we sent you they’ll charge you twice!  No, seriously, don’t mention our names if you go there. My Grunkle’s shoplifted so often they now double the charges just for being friends of the family.”

“I see,” said the sorceress, taking that information in her stride.  “And you work here or something?”

“Nah, this place used to belong to our Grunkle Stan.  Then he gave it to our friend Soos. But Soos lets me and my brother stay here and even pays us if we want to help, something our Grunkle never did.  But that’s because Soos is awesome! He’s the guy taking people on tours. You should try it if you haven’t done one yet. Have we met?”

“What?” asked the sorceress, deciding that she had just found the perfect match for her third client and wondering how to get her blood.  The trip and skinned knee idea seemed like the best bet, especially since this girl wore a skirt to go with her horrible sweater. Seriously?  A dog with sunglasses and ice cream saying ‘stay cool’? How old was this kid?

“You look familiar,” said the girl, cocking her head to the side.  “Do you have a sister or Mom in town?”

“No, I’m only passing through,” the sorceress shrugged.  “Maybe we passed each other on the street yesterday?”

“I guess,” Mabel said doubtfully.  “Must have been when I was out with the girls.  Can’t think of anything else. Just a vague feeling.  Or maybe I just met someone like you in a dream. Oh, is that it?  Are you one of my dreams come to life?” She gasped. “Wait. Are you from the future? How’d you avoid the storm thing? Are you me from the future, here to tell me to dye my hair and be a goth?  Oh, wait, no, our eyes are a different colour. Unless you’re my daughter from the future come to tell me how good a mother I am?” She climbed onto the counter, cupping the sorceress’ face with her hand.  “Aw! Look how pretty you become.” She patted her head. “They grow up so fast.”

“Mabel, what did we say about feeling the customer’s faces and getting too excited?” asked a heavy set young woman wearing one of the question mark t-shirts, entering the shop through the door marked staff only.

“Sorry, Melody,” Mabel said, releasing the perturbed teen’s face.  “No more freaking out the customers! Got it! Anyway, you want to buy one of these clay figures?” she asked, gesturing towards a row of clay people, vaguely familiar looking but the proportions too odd to make it clear who they were supposed to be.  “They’re me, my family and some of the townspeople,” Mabel boasted. “I made them myself, pouring my blood into these babies. Literally! But then they made me stop ‘cause Dipper was all like, ‘aaugh! Mabel! You’re kinda dying!’ And then Melody and Soos started screaming and then Wendy was like ‘oh!  Dude! We need to get some fluids in you!’ I mean, okay, maybe I went a little overboard but I thought at least one of them would support my expressiveness but suddenly it’s all-”

“Uh, maybe we don’t need to tell the customers the whole story,” Melody suggested as a woman quickly put down the clay figure she was holding and rushed to the exit, wiping her hands on her sleeves, an expression of horror on her face.

The sorceress stared at the vibrant teen girl and then looked at her disturbing creations.  “I’ll take one,” she said, smiling happily as she saw her bonus flash in front of her eyes. “You know what?  I’ll take two. Kid, you’ve just made my day,” she told the grinning girl. “And I’ll take one of those over-priced sodas and this too,” she said, taking a question mark shaped lollipop from a jar, unwrapping it and putting it in her mouth triumphantly as she held out the money.  “I feel like celebrating.”

 

* * *

 

“How’s your finger?” Dipper asked Wendy much later as they approached the Corduroy cabin, looking forward to their movie night.

“It’s fine,” Wendy responded, flexing her fingers.  “Lucky we had some of that healing water left. But I think it’s about done.  It didn’t work as fast this time. I was lucky it was just along my finger,” she muttered.  “That cut was deep and long.”

“Yeah,” Dipper agreed.  “I’m kind of surprised that it’s even lasted this long.  But I’ll tell Ford you said so. He and McGucket were doing some experiments on the sample he took and he said magic like that usually fades the further and longer away it is from its source.”

He looked around as Wendy removed her jacket and added it to the coat hanger by the door, passing his own to her before he heard a scuffle and turned to see two red headed boys pausing mid-grapple when they saw him.  

“Oh no,” he sighed as he saw the look in their eyes.  “Not again.”

“Dipper!” Kevin yelled in joy, the twelve-year old middle brother of the Corduroy family tackling the teen and wrapping an arm around his neck.

“It’s good to see you!” grinned Gus, grabbing Dipper’s arm and using his legs to pin him to the ground.  At ten, he was the youngest of the brother’s but still had much more muscle than Dipper and was almost an inch taller.

“Uncle!  Uncle!” gasped Dipper, slapping the arm around his neck.  “I give!”

“Hey!” Wendy barked, pulling her brothers off the defeated teen and knocking their heads together.  “What did I tell you? Stop doing that!”

“We’re only playing!” Gus complained, the brothers rubbing their heads as Dipper rubbed his neck.

“Yeah,” agreed Kevin.  “It’s fun!”

“Well it’s not fun for him,” Wendy snapped.  “Now beat it, it’s movie night and I don’t want to see either of you again.  Go find a dead possum or whatever.”

“There’s a dead possum?” Kevin said, his eyes widening with hope.

“Let’s grab it and put it in her pillow!” suggested Gus, both boys grinning before their big sister picked them up and knocked their heads together again.

“I’m right here, you idiots!” She snapped as they glared at her.  “Now get out before I kick you out. And stay out of my room!” she yelled after them as they ran towards the woods.  “If I find anything in my pillows I’m going to make them eat it,” she muttered, helping Dipper to his feet. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Dipper winced.  “How long before you think they’ll get tired of doing that?”

“Never,” Wendy sighed.  “Unfortunately. If it hurts, why not just run?” she asked as they made their way to the kitchen to get the popcorn.  “Last time you did that they couldn’t keep up. It was kinda impressive.”

“Yeah, but then I ran out of breath and they eventually caught me,” he reminded her.  “I’m fast but don’t have the stamina to keep it up for long. At least this way it’s over and done with.”

“Well, we can work on your stamina this summer,” she said.  “I’ll mention it to the Stans and we’ll focus on that for you and your sister.  On second thought, she’s got too much stamina if anything so we’ll focus on you.”

Dipper said nothing as they entered the kitchen, thinking back on the many lessons that his Grunkles and Wendy were trying to teach him and his sister.  He wasn’t really sure what to make of it. A little short for his age, less muscle than anyone else he knew and unused to carrying anything heavier than a few books, Dipper had never enjoyed physical activity, preferring to read about other people excelling at it than doing it himself.  It didn’t help that his full awareness of his physical flaws made him even less willing to do anything about them, already convinced that he would fail before he even tried. It also didn’t help that his sister outclassed him at practically everything, her natural strength and sugar-fueled energy surpassing most people her age, never mind her noodly armed brother.

But his great-uncles and Wendy were trying to fix that, at least one of them taking them on walks every day, Ford giving lectures about the magic and supernatural, Wendy casually talking about nature and the wildlife, Stan complaining until he deciding he’d rather just listen to the twins talk about whatever they wanted about so wouldn’t need to gasp for air so often.  Stan was also trying to teach them boxing, something that Mabel excelled at while Dipper’s punches could barely be called that, even if he could take a surprising amount of punishment. He didn’t think he liked it, too many bruises just to be reminded of how little muscle he had, but Ford and Wendy especially had encouraged him to keep at it. And when the two people you aspire to be like the most encourage you to do something and tell you they believe in you, it can give even someone as insecure as Dipper Pines the motivation to keep trying.

Wendy grunted at her father and oldest brother, the Corduroy family’s way of greeting.  Manly Dan was reading a Guns and Ammo magazine with one hand, the other held out as his oldest son struggled to arm-wrestle his father, the teen’s muscles bulging as he grunted with the effort, using his whole hand against his father’s index finger.

“Mister Corduroy,” Dipper greeted them more formally as Wendy found the popcorn and put it in the microwave.  “Marcus.”

Manly Dan looked up from the magazine and grunted at the boy.  Dipper had often wondered just what Manly Dan thought of him, something he had especially wondered when his crush for Wendy had been particularly strong and the idea of being the large man’s son-in-law seemed much less far-fetched.  When he had first found out that he was the first boy Wendy had been allowed to have in her room or who had dinner with the family without being threatened with violence (actual violence, not playful violence) he had felt a sense of pride and hoped that on some level this meant that the head of the Corduroy household respected him enough to see him as a suitable future son-in-law.

But that had been at the start of last summer and now Dipper was mature and level-headed enough to know that was just his romantic fantasies talking and the Manly Dan just didn’t see the skinny kid as a threat at all.  Still, the man treated him well enough and he enjoyed the food as long as he didn’t see it being made so why complain?

Marcus gave his own grunt of greeting as he struggled against his father.  At fourteen, Marcus was the oldest of Wendy’s younger brothers but his height, muscular physique and the faint red stubble easily led people to believe that he was sixteen at least.  Marcus was also the brother that Dipper had the poorest relationship with, suspecting that the older boy just didn’t have much respect for him. Then again, Kevin and Gus really seemed to like Dipper and they would often express this through wrestling so Dipper wasn’t too bothered about the much larger and stronger teen’s indifferent attitude.  

When the popcorn was ready, they went to Wendy’s room, kicking off their shoes as they settled on her bed.  Dipper’s nose wrinkled as the scent from her boots and socks wafted towards him but said nothing. There was an unspoken agreement between them that Wendy didn’t comment on Dipper’s unwashed smell and in exchange Dipper didn’t complain about her boot-feet.  One was unpleasant and constant, the other had once been enough to make Stan, Soos and Mabel run out of the Shack, gagging. Only Dipper had remained with her, his constant constant exposure to his own smell giving him a resistance to those far worse.

“Why don’t you just wear suits?” Wendy demanded as the aliens (who looked like exactly like humans with too much eye-liner) randomly explained to each other that the Earth air was toxic to them and that was why they had to use mind control for their invasion.  “You’ve got spaceships! Making a hazmat suit should be easy! Or nuke us!”

“So, uh, how do you feel about me going to the arcade with Pacifica?” Dipper asked suddenly, taking her attention away from the poorly thought out invasion plan.

Wendy gave an indifferent shrug.  “Ain’t got a problem with it. You can see whoever you want.”

“Right,” Dipper said slowly.

She looked at him, puzzled by the hesitation in his reply and followed his gaze to the standing punching bag the twins had given her for her birthday.  She was very pleased with the gift, not only because it gave her something to punch in private without getting trouble, but also because she admitted that she’d often attach a photo of whoever was annoying her at the time, giving her a way to vent.  Normally the photograph would either be her most recent ex or her brothers but this time it was of a certain blonde.

“Ah,” Wendy said, clearing her throat and hopping off the bed.  “Okay. Awkward. But I’m serious, you want to spend time with her, go ahead.”  She swapped the photo with one of her brothers. “Me not liking her shouldn’t mean anything.  ”

“I just don’t get why you two are so mad at each other,” Dipper admitted.  “I mean, what, was it a prank like what happened to Professor Passuum? Is it because her ancestor killed yours?  I mean, I don’t remember either of you saying anything in our emails or video chats so-”

“Dipper,” Wendy said, stopping at the side of her bed.  She hesitated, wondering what she could tell him. “It...it’s a private thing,” she said eventually.  “It’s not just about us. If I told you why, I’d have to tell you about something else and that’s not my place to say.  So, yeah, I get it that Pacifica and me are making things a bit awkward for you two. But it shouldn’t matter. I mean, you and Robbie used to hate each other but I wouldn’t have liked it if either of you said you didn’t like me hanging out with the other.  Same deal.”

“Yeah, okay,” he sighed.  “Sorry. I guess it is kind of silly to expect all my friends to like each other, huh?”

“No,” Wendy said, thoughtfully.  “I wouldn’t say silly. Unrealistic, I guess, but we live in a town with mad scientists, gnomes and unicorns.  Realism and Gravity Falls don’t always work.”

Dipper nodded in agreement but she could still see the thought was troubling him.  Dipper was a naturally suspicious person with an inquisitive mind and she could tell his natural instinct was to figure out exactly why two people he liked seemed so hostile towards each other.  But she also trusted that he wouldn’t press too hard. He was still a fairly private person himself and respected that there were some secrets not everyone should know, especially when it came to personal matters.  

“Anyway, what do you think of her?” Wendy asked, her lips twitching at the chance to tease her friend.  “You know she’s got a thing for you, right?”

“What?” Dipper squawked, almost falling off the bed as he flinched.  “No! No she doesn’t, she’s just-”

“Dude,” Wendy said, putting her hand on his shoulder as she grinned at his flustered reaction.  “She totally does. I’m technically a girl and we can tell these things. And it is _so_ obvious.”

Dipper blushed and pulled the collar of his t-shirt.  “You think? I mean, I don’t know, I don’t think I’m ready and even if I were then-”

“Okay,” Wendy said, putting up her hands.  “That’s fine. I meant what I said this morning.  Romance isn’t everything. If you don’t want to or if you need more time then don’t let anyone tell you different.  But if you do want to try it, go ahead. My feelings towards her don’t matter. What’s important is how you feel. I’d rather see you happy with someone I don’t like than miserable.”

Dipper cleared his throat.  “Thanks, Wendy. I, er, I really appreciate that.”

“No problem, dude,” she told him, giving him a playful shove so they could swap sides on the bed.  “Now, forget all that romantic crap and tell me exactly how much science this alien species is getting wrong.”

Dipper grinned and rolled his eyes.  “Oh, man! I don’t even know where to begin!”

 

* * *

 

“Agh!” Pacifica groaned.  “I don’t even know where to begin!”

She glared at the expensive clothes she owned, stuck deciding what she would do.  Normally she was confident that she could look good in anything and selecting the right clothes came as naturally as breathing.  But on this occasion she was stuck.

She didn’t want to wear something too good - that would give the wrong impression.  But at the same time she didn’t want to wear a simple outfit either. And the hoodie was completely out of the picture since he might comment on it again and it made her look like a boy anyway.

She frowned.  Wait. Wendy dressed like a boy.  In fact, with her figure, the only thing marking her out as a girl was the hair.  Did that mean he liked tomboys? Should she wear something masculine?

Her eyes swept her closet, seeing only skirts and tights and leggings.  No trousers. Damn! Why hadn’t she given this more thought? And she had work again tomorrow, she didn’t have time to buy something before they met at the arcade.  Maybe she could ask someone to buy her a pair?

She thought about the few friends she did have.  Mabel, Candy and Grenda. Her phone was full of texts from each of them, wishing her luck and making several jokes at her expense, asking how long before the wedding, how many kids they’d have, what their names would be, etc.  She didn’t really want to speak to any of them about it. She thought of the girls’ sense of fashion and quickly decided that even if she were willing to ask for their help, their tastes and hers would be very different.

“Oh God,” she groaned, falling on her bed.  “My life sucks!”

There was a knock at the door and her mother stepped into the room, interrupting her feeling sorry for herself.  “Are you alright, darling?” she asked.

Pacifica groaned and dragged herself upright, her mother sitting down beside her.  “Mom. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do tomorrow. It’s just going to the arcade! What is wrong with me?” she asked miserably.  “Normally I’m so good at making decisions. Now I can’t even figure out what to wear, I’m stressing if it’s too much, too little, what’s really me, what impression do I want to give, I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

Priscilla considered her daughter, a slight smile appearing on her stretched lips.  “Pacifica,” she said slowly. “Is this a date?”

“Well, no, not really,” Pacifica began, blushing slightly as she thought about tomorrow.  “I mean, I’d like it to be but-”

“My little girl’s growing up!” Priscilla said, a sparkle in her eyes to match her smile.  “Who is it? Do I know him? Or her? Is it a girl? Because I love you but if it’s a girl I’m afraid I won’t be able to offer much advice and I don’t think I know anyone who could-”

“It’s a boy, Mom,” Pacifica said with a roll of her eyes.  “And yes, you know him.” She looked at her mother’s expecting face and sighed.  “It’s Dipper Pines.”

Priscilla Northwest’s smile faltered.  “The smelly short boy with the horrible, unkempt hair and no concept of fashion?”

“Well, there’s more to him than that but yes, that’s him,” Pacifica muttered.

“Oh,” Priscilla said.  She hesitated. “I don’t think we should mention this to your father.  Yet.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on doing that.  And anyway, it’s not a date! We’re just friends.”

“But you want to be something more,” Priscilla said slowly.  “Well you seem to be friendly with him. Does he have a preference?”

“Redheads,” Pacifica grunted.  “Older girls? Tomboys, maybe. But that’s not me!  I don’t want to remind him of what he already likes, I want to change that so he’ll like me.”

Priscilla hesitated, still unused to having these sorts of talks with her daughter after so many years of being able to just hire someone to do it for her.  But those days were gone, they now had to be much more careful with their money and as such she’d had to take more of an interest in her family, accept her daughter for who she was and not who her parents demanded she be.  She had seen many other parents care for their children and laughed that they couldn’t just hire someone to do it for them. But now her daughter was here, looking for help that Priscilla wasn’t sure she could give her. And while she still didn’t understand Pacifica’s insistence on working when she didn’t need the money, or her choice of friends or her independence...a part of her was proud that her daughter had adapted to their change of circumstances so well.  There had been horror at the loss of her ponies and she had struggled for a while - they all had - but Pacifica had been the one who had also pushed her parents to make the most of their new lives and to accept the changes instead of resisting them, the child comforting the parents in their time of need.

“Pacifica,” Priscilla began, unsure what she should say.  “I...You are my daughter. Your father’s daughter. And you are beautiful and smart and I am very proud of you.  Preston is also proud of you, even if he - even if he doesn’t show it very often. But I believe in you. So this boy, I think you’re too good for him but if you like him then there must be something special about him, something I can’t see.  But that’s what makes you better than your father and I. You are in many ways stronger than us. You lost your ponies but handled that better than when we lost our status. And those ponies were very important to you. So I think you are more than capable of handling this poor city boy.  So dress however you feel like. Just - be yourself. And if he doesn’t appreciate you then we’ll hire the butler to break his legs.”

“We can’t afford to do that anymore, Mom,” Pacifica reminded her.  “But thanks,” she smiled. “That was nice to hear. You’re really improving at the mother-daughter stuff.”

“Oh good,” Priscilla sighed.  “I’m glad I could help.”

She patted her daughter affectionately on the head and left, Pacifica glancing at the clock and changing into her nightgown, a little less worried about what tomorrow would bring.

 

* * *

 

“So basically here’s all the stuff I could gather on this third girl,” the sorceress said, sipping at her tea as she spoke to her clients.  “Mabel Pines. Thirteen but acts like a five year old. Freakishly energetic and happy-go-lucky. Seems to have a few screws loose so no idea if she’s on meds but if she is I’d hate to see her without them.  Birthday is thirty-first of August. She lives at the local tourist trap where girl number two - Corduroy - works. Apparently the place used to be owned by her great-uncle but now is owned by a friend of the family and she and her brother live there.  She seems to call her great-uncle a ‘gruncle’ for whatever reason. Got a twin brother, no idea who’s the oldest yet but they seem close. What I’ve gathered on him will also be on the file I’ve send you. Everybody seems to call him Dipper. No idea why.  I got the impression people don’t even know what his real name is so-”

“We don’t care!” snapped the first of her clients.  “Just cast the spell already!”

“Yeah, we didn’t pay you to do research and tell us their life stories!” the second added.

The sorceress glared at them over the rim of her teacup.  “Actually, that is exactly what you paid me to do,” she told them.  “I don’t know what you think is going to happen but if you don’t know everything then this can all go terribly wrong and-”

“Yakkity yak!” cried the third.  “It’s just excuses with you! You’ve found the girls, cast the spell already!”

The sorceress groaned and put her tea down.  “For the last time! I’m getting this information for your benefit!  What, you think I enjoy looking up people’s background all day? Listen, we’ve made great timing.  I said I could get them in a month, you demanded two weeks! Now I’m telling you I can get all their information and cast the spell for you in one!”

“One week?” the second client cried.  “We could be dead by then! I don’t even buy green bananas anymore!”

“You’ve got the blood, just cast the spell now!” the first snapped again.  “We’ll figure out the rest as we go along!”

“I really think that’s a bad idea,” the sorceress growled.  “These are people’s lives! Even with what little information I’ve gathered, one night isn’t enough to-”

“We’ll double your bonus!” barked the third, the other two nodding.

The sorceress paused, thinking of all that money.  This would go horribly wrong. She hadn’t done enough research, there was nowhere enough time for all three of them to memorise everything she had sent them.  But she had warned them. Repeatedly. They’d just refused to listen. Which meant everything that happened from this point on would be on them.

“Fine,” she said at last, the clients giving happy sighs before they returned to giving her stern looks.  “I’ll do it tonight. In the meantime read what I’ve sent you. But remember,” she warned them, “I’ll expect that money in my account tomorrow.  If you’re even one cent short I will take it all back with a vengeance and then I’ll really give you something to complain about. Have a nice night,” she finished with a wink, ending the call before any of them could make any more complaints.

She closed her laptop and grinned.  Finally. No more calls. No more constant criticisms, daily demands for updates that were then ignored, no more complaints about timescales even when things were going better than expected.  She was surprised to find that the thought of being rid of them was even more satisfying than the idea of all that extra money. Of course, the money wasn’t completely forgotten. Maybe she could see if there were any hotels near the resort, just to give her a few extra days and allow her to get used to the weather before the true relaxation began?  After all, she could still conduct business over the laptop, why not do it somewhere where the weather was nice?

She had originally intended to stay in town for the rest of the week, not just to get more first hand information on her targets but to also conduct more research on the town.  The spells she had cast showed her that, if anything, her research had gravely underestimated the amount of magic in this place. That would definitely be something worth looking into.  But now that extra money was tempting her, calling out to be spent, wisely or frivolously. Besides, now her clients would be here tomorrow and she’d already had enough of them. And she didn’t want to be around them when they inevitably messed up and complained that everything she’d warned them about had happened just as she said it would.

She went to the doctor’s bag, selecting the equipment she needed and removing the three vials of blood.  When everything was ready she sat at the foot of the bed, turning off the fire alarms with a quick spell as she lit the candles and put the blood on the carpet in front of her before she sat on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs and closing her eyes.  She didn’t particularly like the theatrics but she wasn’t powerful enough yet to cast such a spell without them. One day, but not any time soon. So she needed the little boost the expensive equipment gave her and closed her eyes, concentrating hard as she muttered the incantation.  

As she cast her spell, the room reacted to the magic, the bed, table and chairs levitating as the lights flicked, the toilet lid slamming up and down and the television came to life, the program and its laugh-track replaced by the white scream of static, the blood in the vials boiling.

When it was done, the bed gently lowered, the lights returned to normal and the television switched itself off, the room deathly silent as the sorceress stretched and returned everything to the doctor's bag before getting ready for bed.  She glanced at the documents she had on the three girls, patting the papers affectionately for helping make her rich.

“Sweet dreams, ladies,” she said as she turned off the lights.  “Hope you had a nice life.”


	3. Chapter 3

Mabel popped open an eye and stared at the morning light coming from her window, hitting Waddles on the belly as he lay on his back, snorting from his little pig dreams.  She frowned as she tried to figure out why she suddenly felt wide awake. Normally she loved to sleep in, it was one of the highlights of her mornings. But she didn’t feel tired at all.  As if it were the middle of the day and sleep seemed pointless. She opened her other eye and sat up, deciding she might as well do something instead of just lie in bed and wait for a sleep she was strangely certain wouldn’t come.  She looked around the room, trying to see if something had woken her. The invisible wizard maybe?

She was still trying to figure out what it was when she heard Dipper roll over in his sleep and a wicked grin spread across her face.  If she was up early she might as well wake him up too. Give him more time to get ready for his big day with Pacifica.  She always tossed the covers off in her sleep so, without taking her eyes off Dipper, she slowly and carefully eased herself to the edge of the bed and took a deep breath.  “WAKE UP, LOVER-BOY!” she yelled as she leapt over her pig to land right next to her brother’s bed.

Her grin vanished as the floor didn’t stop her descent, her body continuing to fall through the floorboards and down to the room below, Mabel screaming as she tried to reach out and grab hold of something but her hands were as intangible as the rest of her and she was still falling, the floor rushing to meet her again before she closed her eyes instinctively.

When she opened them she saw that she had stopped falling, her lower half disappearing through the floor.  That was when she noticed the pale sheen to her body, as if she had been encased in a bright plastic. She wasn’t glowing exactly, in fact if she looked at her arms or body hard enough she could almost see through it, as if she were made of thick, coloured glass.  

Mabel looked at where her legs should have been and tried to put her hands on the floor to push herself up.  Her hands went through the floor but she was surprised to find that she did rise from the floorboards, despite being unable to connect with anything that could give her leverage.  She gazed at her feet. Above the knees everything was the same; pale, shiny and vaguely transparent. But below that she was turning paler and paler until her feet became pure white and without any toes, as if she had went to bed wearing a pair of strange socks.  She grabbed a foot and tried to wriggle her toes but only saw a strange ripple at the end of her foot. “Aww,” she said in dismay. “No more piggies.” Then she remembered her favourite piggy, upstairs next to her brother and she pushed towards the ceiling, relieved to find that she could control her directions with ease now that she knew gravity and mass no longer affected her.  

“Dipper!” She yelled as she floated upwards and saw her brother sit up and rub at his eyes.  “You’ve gotta help me! I’ve turned into a ghost or something and-”

“Morning, Mabel,” Dipper yawned, Mabel at first confused by the indifferent tone in his voice until she saw that he was looking straight through her and spun around to see herself sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Good morning,” said Mabel’s body, a smile on her lips.  “A very good morning.”

“No it isn’t, you imposter, you!” Mabel snapped, pointing an accusing finger at herself.  “Get out of there! It took me years to attain that level of adorableness, you can’t just take it for yourself!”

But the person in her body didn’t react to her, looking around the room until she spotted the full-length mirror in the corner, making her way towards it and ignoring Dipper as he got to his feet and made his way downstairs.  She was too engrossed in the reflection, grinning broadly as she patted and rubbed the face that didn’t belong to her.

“Hey!”  Mabel snapped.  “Hands off! I know how tempting it is to just grab people’s faces but at least I don’t go around possessing someone before I do it!  If you’d just asked I probably would have let you! Are you listening to me?” Mabel kicked at her own head but the foot went straight through her eye and the person in her body didn’t react at all.  She frowned, quickly realising that this person couldn’t see her any more than Dipper could. She kicked at her head again but there wasn’t even the hint of a response.

“Great,” she muttered.  “This means I can’t even annoy you into getting out of my body.  You’ve no idea how lucky you are, lady! If you could hear me I would annoy you until you wanted to tear my ears off!”  Mabel hesitated, a sudden thought occurring to her as she watched herself reach for some clothes. “Uh, you a lady, right?  ‘Cause otherwise that just adds a whole level of creepiness to this thing." But as she watched herself remove her floppy disk sleep shirt and get changed without too much bother, Mabel’s worries were put aside, doubting a boy would be so indifferent towards changing clothes in a girl’s body.

“Aw, come on,” Mabel groaned as she watched herself look at her sweaters with distaste.  “Don’t dress like that! Where’s the pizazz, the oomph, the Mabel difference? You’re dressing just like everyone else!”

Her complaints were interrupted as she heard her name called from downstairs and the not-Mabel called back that she was coming.  Then both Mabels heard a grunt and turned to see Waddles roll over to get to his feet, shaking his dreams away.

“Waddles!” Mabel cried, rushing forward to stroke her pet’s head.  “Please tell me you can see me?” But Waddles didn’t respond to her, her hand phasing through him.  He only walked through her towards the only Mabel he could see, nuzzling at her knee for his morning rub.

“Ugh!” Mabel’s body said, pushing the animal away with her foot.  “Get away! No one said anything about a pig,” she muttered, glaring at the animal.  

Waddles oinked again and tried to press his nose against his beloved master’s knee, headbutting her gently.

“I said beat it,” the imposter snarled, slapping him away and then adding a hard kick for good measure.

Waddles squealed in pain, running out of the room to escape his master’s sudden wrath.

“Waddles!” Mabel wailed, watching her pig flee.  “It’s not me! Waddles! I’m sorry!” Mabel soared after him, following him through the cat-flap Soos had installed to the doghouse outside.  Soos had no intention of making him stay outside, he had just built it so the pig would have a little place of his own if he need a cool place to sleep on the warm days.

“Poor Waddles,” Mabel whimpered, trying to stroke his head as he oinked in dismay.  “Don’t worry,” she tried to tell him, hoping that he could hear her on some level. “When I get back in my body I’m going to make it up to you.  We’re going to have all the pizza and ice cream we can eat. Just as soon as we get that monster out of my body!” She glared back at the Shack, spotting herself through the window, sitting at the table with her family.

Giving her upset pet one last, lingering look of sympathy, Mable flew to the kitchen where she saw herself eating the food Abuelita had prepared.

“You okay, Hambone?” Soos asked her body.  “You’re eating awfully slow there.”

The non-Mabel glanced at him, not responding until she saw the others in the room also look at her as she took too long to answer.  “Uh, what?” she asked, realising the question must have been directed at her. “Sorry, I, uh, I was miles away.”

“I asked if you were okay,” Soos repeated, Dipper and Abuelita looking at her in concern.  “You’re pretty quiet and you’ve not asked for more food yet.”

The imposter looked down at the empty cereal bowl and the large plate that had held scrambled eggs, sausages, pancakes, toast, beans and hash browns, enough to feed a full-grown man before she had devoured it.  “I, uh, I guess I’m just not hungry,” she said, wondering just how much this girl normally ate. “I’m not really feeling very well. In fact,” she said, looking at the clock on the wall, “I think I’m going to just go out.  The fresh air will do me some good and I’ve made some plans to see some friends.” She cleared her throat as she pushed her chair back and heading out the back door. “Thanks for breakfast. Bye.”

“Wait,” Dipper called out to her, following his sister outside, unaware that the real Mabel was floating by his head and urging him to question the strange behaviour.  “What about our walk?” he asked her as she paused a little way away from the Shack. “With Grunkle Ford and Stan?”

“Uh,” said the imposter, frowning as she wondered what to say.  “Can’t we just do that tomorrow? I’d rather not do anything of that sort today.  Raincheck?”

Dipper hesitated, sensing that something was wrong but unsure what it was, unable to hear the spectre at his side pleading for his help.  “Mabel, you’re acting weird...er. Are you okay? Should I give Professor Passuum a call or-?”

“What, do you have a problem with me wanting some time to myself?” she demanded, rounding on him.

“Woah!” he said, raising his hands to pacify her as she glared at him.  “I’m just concerned! You love those walks and you didn’t eat much so I just thought-”

“What, you thought I’d need your help?  That something must be wrong with me if I’m acting a little odd?”

“Well, yeah,” Dipper replied slowly, suspecting that this was somehow not what she wanted to hear but not knowing how else to answer her.

“Good job, Dipper!” Mabel encouraged him.  “Trust your gut!”

The imposter scoffed at him.  “Here’s a little lesson for you,” she said.  “Everybody has bad days, sometimes for days on end.  I’m a teenage girl going through changes that a boy wouldn’t understand so I’m _sorry_ if that’s a bad thing and it upsets you that I can’t always be the way you want me to be!”

“Don’t turn this on him!” Mabel snapped but saw that her brother was affected by what he thought his sister was saying.

“No, Mabel,” he said quickly, waving his hands in front of him.  “I didn’t mean it like that! I was just worried that-”

“Just leave me alone!” Dipper heard his sister snarl at him.  “You are so needy! I just don’t want to go for the stupid walk!  Or do I need your permission to go see my friends?”

Dipper faltered, confused by the tone and level of anger in her eyes.  “I - I’m sorry, Mabel,” he said, wondering where the anger was coming from.  “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. If you need me to-”

“What I need,” came the reply, “is some time to myself.  Alright? Stop bothering me and just leave me alone!”

“Hey!” Mabel barked.  “He’s only trying to help so back off!”

She flew back to her brother, watching the hurt in his eyes as he rubbed his neck uncomfortably.  “Okay, Mabel,” he said, unable to look the person he thought was his sister in the eye. “I’m sorry.  I guess - I guess Wendy was right, huh? We have been spending a lot of time together.” He cleared his throat.  “I just - I just didn’t realise I was being so clingy. I’ll try to stay out of your hair from now on.”

She only glared at him and he realised that she was done talking to him so he went back to the Shack, wishing he hadn’t upset her, wishing he’d said something else or just left her alone.

The imposter rolled her eyes as the boy slowly made his way back to the hovel, hanging his head like a stupid child.  “So insecure,” she grunted as she continued her journey, not seeing him flinch at the insult.

“Don’t talk to him like that!” Mabel screamed at her, trying to reach out and hold her brother, the misery and regret in his eyes matching her own.  “Please don’t listen to her,” she pleaded, trying to force the words into his mind. “It’s not me! I’d never say that! You’re amazing! Dipper!”

But he only walked through her, closing the door quietly behind him.

Mabel reached out a transparent hand towards him, never feeling so helpless in her life.  Then she turned to the person who had stolen her body, hit her pig and insulted her brother, each crime worse than the last.  She flew herself at her own chest, flying through it but then looping right back to release a flurry of kicks and punches. “Just you wait,” she growled as her attacks made no impact.  “You’re gonna pay for that. My Grunkle’s been teaching me boxing and I’m pretty good at it! When I get my own body back I’m going to find yours and then I’m going to beat you black and blue!  I’ll drown your eyes in glitter!”

The threats and insults continued as they walked down the road, Mabel too enraged to wonder where they were headed.  Eventually they reached Circle Park but Mabel barely took this in as she said the worst threats she could think of.  “I’m going to get Ford to beat you up! No, Stan! No, Stan and Ford! Wait, worse! I’m going to set Wendy on you! She has an axe!  And red hair! Oh, just you wait. When she finds out what you said to Dipper, she won’t care who’s body you’re in, she going to-”

“I’M GOING TO TAKE THE SHARP END OF MY AXE AND I’M GOING TO SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR-”

“Wendy?” asked Mabel, her head jumping up as she heard her friend’s threats.

There was a pause as the threats stopped.  Then: “Mabel?”

“Wendy!” cried Mabel, rushing towards the sound of her voice, looking around the park until she spotted something flying straight for her, hitting her in the chest with enough force to push them through bushes and swings.

“Mabel!”  Wendy pulled her close and swung her around.  “Finally! Someone can hear me! I had no idea what was happening!”

“It’s okay, Wendy,” Mabel told her, pushing herself away to get a better look at her friend.  Just like Mabel, her clothing matched what she had worn to bed, the black t-shirt with the white direwolf’s head and pajama bottoms that faded into white light below the knees.  “Aw man, not you too,” Wendy groaned, looking Mabel up and down and seeing that they were alike. “Let me guess, wake up suddenly and find out someone’s wearing your skin?”

“Yeah,” Mabel sighed.  “And they’re evil, Wendy!  I mean, stealing my body was one thing but they hurt Waddles and Dipper!”

“What do you mean ‘hurt?’” Wendy asked, fear and anger fighting for dominance in her voice.

“She slapped Waddles and she was mean to Dipper!”  Mabel glared at the imposter, hating their smug smirk, even if it was her own.  "She called him needy and insecure and said she didn't want to spend time with him and now he thinks he's a bad brother!  She was cruel to him but made him think it was all his fault!"

“Oh,” said Wendy, fear retreating as anger became fury.

“Is it just us?” asked Mabel, looking around the park.  She could now see the redheaded figure of Wendy making her way towards the non-Mabel as a third figure also approached on foot but couldn’t quite see who it was or spot a similar figure floating nearby.

“It’s not just you two,” sighed a voice from above and they looked up to see a familiar blonde above them, the bottom of her nightgown matching the pale white of her feet.

“Pacifica!”  Mabel rushed up and hugged her, glad to see her but wishing she wasn’t there.

“Great, like things couldn’t get any worse,” Wendy muttered as the younger girls lowered themselves until they were all level.

“Guess I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t quite herself when she woke up,” Pacifica said, ignoring Wendy's remark.  “Any idea who’s got our bodies or what they want with them?”

“Nope,” Wendy said.  “But I think we’re going to find out.”  She nodded to the ground below them, the three figures heading for a set of swings.  Wendy swooped down towards them, the others following her as the three people inhabiting them finally met.

They stood there, looking each other up and down, considering themselves in silence for a moment before they spoke.  The person in Mabel’s body turned to the person in Wendy’s. “Whitney?” she asked.

Whitney grinned through Wendy’s teeth, no pine tree hat or axe, a jacket but no shirt over her t-shirt, shorts instead of jeans and a pair of worn sneakers in place of the boots.  She looked over at Pacifica’s body. “Pamela?” she asked.

Pamel did a little curtsey in Pacifica’s body, the hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing a long skirt and a top that showed off her figure to a degree that Pacifica didn't like.  She faced the person in Mabel’s body. “Marcey?”

Marcey grinned, baring Mabel’s bright smile and braces to the other two.  “We did it, ladies,” she said and all three rushed towards each other, taking each other by the hands and jumping and dancing in a circle, laughing and singing at the top of their new lungs.

“Not the reaction I was expecting,” Wendy said as the three spirits watched themselves.  “But at least now we know their names.”

“Look, look,” said Whitney, breaking away from the others.  “Look at this!” She put her hands on the ground and leaned forward until her feet were in the air, the others clapping and laughing.  “It gets better!” Concentrating hard she raised one arm out slowly, putting all her weight on the other. “It was never this easy before!” she told them and she returned to her feet.  “I could do gymnastics or ballet or go for an Olympic medal! So much raw strength, I can’t wait to harness it!”

“Tried to lift everything she could find,” Wendy muttered.  “Even lifted my bed. Hoped she’d drop it on her foot.” She frowned.  “My foot. Man, this is weird.”

“Look at me!” cried Pamela, turning to the side so the others could see her figure better.  “Her wardrobe is magnificent! And check out these puppies! I don’t care if they never grow, they’re plenty good enough for me already!”  She hugged her surprisingly well developed chest. “Oh, who am I kidding? If they’re this size now, I can’t wait until I get older!”

“She stood in front of the mirror for almost an hour!” Pacifica whispered in horror, watching someone else flaunt a body she wasn’t comfortable with yet.  “She stripped me and then tried on every piece of underwear I had. I saw myself in positions I never knew existed!” She shuddered. “I can’t unsee it,” she murmured, burying her face in her hands as Mabel rubbed her shoulders in comfort.

“Well I’m afraid I haven’t had quite the same luck you two ladies have,” Marcey said, gesturing towards her new body.  “But it’s new, it’s young and it is most certainly energetic.” She grinned. “I think I’m going to have some fun this time around.”

“You scared my pig, hurt my brother and now you’re saying the body you stole from me is second rate?” Mabel growled.  “Lady, you’d better make the most of your time in there because when I get you out-”

“How are we going to get them out?” Pacifica asked, raising her head as the women below them continued to comment on and compare their bodies.  “What can we do? I tried to write a message on the wall but I couldn’t even get the lipstick to budge!”

“And how the hell did they get our bodies in the first place?” Wendy demanded.  “I remember Dipper telling me about the night Bill took over his body but I definitely don’t remember making a deal with a demon or even shaking somebody’s hand.”

“Wait, Bill possessed Dipper?” asked Pacifica.  “When?”

“It was when I made that puppet show to impress Gabe,” Mabel said.

“That creepy guy who makes out with his hands and then argues with them?” Pacifica asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust.  “Why would you want to impress him?”

“‘Cause he was hot,” Mabel answered.  “But to be fair, I didn’t see him make out with them until after he’d turned me down.  So no regrets.” She hesitated. “Actually, no, lots of regrets. I emotionally blackmailed Dipper into helping me with the show when his mystery was way more important than my stupid crush of the week.  And even when I’d already promised to help him with it later, I just ignored him when he asked for help, even after he’d already helped me. Dipper was losing sleep over that thing and then Bill used that to invade his dream and make him think he was running out of time.  Bill used that to take over Dipper’s body. Just ‘cause of my dumb dream for a summer romance.”

“Yeah, but then you fought Bill and knocked him out of Dipper’s body!” Wendy said.  “You saved him and stopped Bill destroying the journal!”

“Wouldn’t have needed to if I’d just helped my brother,” Mabel muttered bitterly.  “You should have seen what Bill did to him, Wendy. When Stan took off his shirt to clean the wounds there were cuts, burn marks, scratches and bruises all over.”  She shook her head. “Bill left a note boasting he was going to make it look like Dipper killed himself. I almost gave him the journal and if I had he would have killed my brother.  And it would have been all my fault. All my fault,” she whispered.

"Oh my God," breathed Wendy, recalling the time she had spent with the creature in Dipper's boy, the inappropriate jokes and comments he had made, scribbling something down on a piece of paper as he chuckled to himself like he'd just thought of the perfect punchline.

“But that didn’t happen!” Pacifica said.  “You stopped him!”

“Too little, too late,” Mabel mumbled.  “My brother needed me but all I cared about was what he could do for me.  Got him hurt and almost got him killed.” She took a deep breath. “He still has nightmares about that night.  He won’t tell me but I can tell. Everything he’s gone through just for one stupid crush that I ended up not wanting anyway.”

“But you’re not like that now,” Pacifica pointed out.  “You haven’t even mentioned any boys and you’ve been back for weeks.”

“Can’t risk it,” Mabel said, a tinge of panic in her eyes.  “What if someone they cared about was hurt in Weirdmageddon?  It wouldn’t be right. No stupid crushes this summer,” she said with more determination.  “I’ll just focus on making Dipper happy. It’s what he deserves after everything he’s been through for me.”

“Okay, Mabel,” Pacifica said gently as she patted her arm.  “We understand. But don’t worry about trying to impress guys.  You don’t need them. You’ve already got Dipper and your uncles.”

“Yeah,” Wendy agreed.  “And it's not all on you, I should have realised something was wrong with Dipper that night too.  I spent a whole car journey with him but didn't say anything, I just put it down to him being weird.  I failed Dipper that night too, Mabel.  And don't beat yourself up about dumb boys - my record speaks for itself in that department.  At least you realised most of yours were crazy or jerks before you dated them.  I wasn’t so lucky. I mean, look at what happened when I dated Gill Reed.  Little punk!” she growled, reaching out and strangling an invisible throat.  “I suggest we dress up together for Halloween and suddenly he thinks that gives him permission to touch my - er,” Wendy paused, realising the girls were watching her.

“He tried to touch your snacks, didn’t he?” Mabel said, nodding in understanding.  “Yeah, he deserved what you did to him.”

“Wait, Gill Reed?” Pacifica asked as Wendy purposefully decided not to correct Mabel.  “Skinny blond guy with glasses?”

“Yeah, you know him?”

“Hangs around the arcade,” Pacifica muttered darkly.  “Keeps making jokes about my body. Total scumbag.” She smirked suddenly.  “Doesn’t surprise me that you dated him. Everybody knows you don’t have standards.”

“That’s it!” Wendy snarled, launching herself at the blonde, forcing them into the sky.  “I’ve needed to hit something all day and you just volunteered! You’ve had this coming for a long time, Northwest!”

“Bring it!” Pacifica snarled back.  “I’ve been taught self-defence by the best teachers money can buy!”

“Well I’ve got three brothers and they’ve got more muscle than you’ll ever have!”

“Girls!”  Mabel cried, flying upwards to try and stop their scuffle.  “Come on! We’ve got to work together on this!” When they ignored her, Mabel groaned and clapped a hand to her eyes in frustration.  She frowned, realising something.  She slapped herself on the cheek as an experiment. Then she did it again, hard enough to turn her head. Glancing up at the girls above her, she sighed and shook her head, flying towards them.  Pacifica pulled at Wendy’s hair and launched a series of kicks to her gut while Wendy bit on Pacifica’s hand, trying to grapple the smaller teen. “Hi, girls,” Mabel said, appearing beside them. “Quick question: You two do realise we can’t actually feel pain like this so your fight’s pointless, right?”

Both girls froze, Pacifica considering the fistful of red hair in her hand while Wendy glanced at the hand she was biting down on hard until their eyes met and realised Mabel was right.

“What is it with you two?” Mabel demanded as the released each other and drifted apart.  “All summer it’s been heated stares and snarky comments but you won’t explain why!” The feuding teens glared at each other but said nothing.  “What is it? Was it a prank? Did one of you hit on a guy the other liked? What? You two have nothing in common so what could possibly be so important to both of you that-” Mabel froze as she thought about what she had just said.  “No,” she said, looking between them as they watched her. “No way. You - you can't be serious.  That’s so cliché!” She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose as she looked at them in disappointment. “This is about Dipper, isn’t it?” she asked.

Wendy and Pacifica looked at each other in surprise before they faced Mabel.

“No,” said Pacifica.

“Yes,” said Wendy.

They looked at each other again, this time with more hostility.

“Yes,” Pacifica relented.  “But it’s not what you think,” she added quickly.

“You like Dipper,” Mabel said, pointing to Pacifica as the blonde fidgeted.  Her finger drifted towards Wendy. “But Dipper still likes you. So now you two are fighting because you,” she pointed at Pacifica, “are jealous that Dipper likes Wendy and is really close to her.  Meanwhile, you,” she pointed at Wendy, “still have a bit of resentment towards Pacifica because of the way she treated Dipper and me in the past and are worried that Pacifica will revert to her bad ways and hurt him, but don’t want to mention this to Dipper because you didn’t like it when he got between you and Robbie.”

“Pretty good summary,” Wendy grunted as Pacifica folded her arms.  “But there’s more to it than that.”

Mabel threw her hands in the air  “Well what is it?”

“We can’t tell you,” Pacifica said as Wendy nodded.  “It’s not our place. It was a family matter. We just...got caught up in it and then, well, I guess we talked a bit afterwards and realised how we feel about each other.  Look, we’re trying not to bring it up when you or Dipper are around. I’m sorry for what I said,” she said to Wendy. “I just...I’m angry at the way she’s treating my body and I took it out on you.”

“Yeah, alright,” Wendy sighed.  “Apology accepted. And I’m sorry for taking the first swing and making that comment when I saw you earlier,” she added.

“Also accepted,” Pacifica said.  “Look, we both care about Dipper.  We can at least agree on that. But we’re also in this together so we’d better put this thing aside until we can actually hurt each other.  Truce?” She held out her hand.

“Truce,” said Wendy, spitting on her palm before she grasped Pacifica’s.

Pacifica glared at her hand and then at Wendy.  “I don’t care if it is phantom spit, that is still disgusting,” she muttered, reaching forward and wiping her palm on Wendy’s shirt, the redhead grinning.

“Yay, Phantom Friends Forever!” cried Mabel, spinning in circles.  “PFF!”

“We are not friends,” Pacifica grunted.

“And I don’t want to be a phantom or whatever forever,” Wendy added.  “So we’d better figure out how we can get back to normal.” She nodded to the three people inhabiting their bodies below, running and cartwheeling and doing jumping jacks, taking the young bodies for a test run as if they were new cars.  “Do you think they’re like Bill if they’re possessing our bodies?”

“No, not like Bill,” Mabel said, upside down and rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she remembered what Dipper had told her of that night.  “Dipper said Bill could still see and hear him. Nobody else could until he found that puppet to posses. But whoever’s in my body can’t hear or see me.  Then again, Bill was a creature of pure energy from another dimension. Ford once said that even when possessing a human body, Bill could still have some powers if he’d really tried and that we were lucky Dipper was so exhausted or else Bill could have done some damage, his powers growing the longer he spent in a body.”

“Well if Dipper can control a puppet why can’t we?” asked Pacifica.  “You’ve got all those stuffed animals, maybe we can use them to talk to Dipper or your uncles?”

“Don't know if that would work,” Mabel admitted.  “Ford said it normally takes years or something else for a ghost to gain that kind of ability over objects.  He thinks Dipper only managed it because Bill was giving off waves of energy even in Dipper’s body and that gave him that power sooner.  Plus it helped that when I ran out of thread for the puppets I had to use human hair. Don’t worry,” she added when she saw the girls blanch. “It was mostly mine.  Until I worried about going bald and used hair from Grunkle’s Stan’s body instead.”

“I helped make puppets made out of Stan’s chest hair?” Wendy shuddered.

“No, silly,” said Mabel, laughing and slapping her playfully.  “Only half was from his chest. The rest was from his back. Which is why Dipper could use them.  Bloodline connection or something.”

“Uh, don’t suppose you’ve made any sweaters or stuffed animals with your hair?” Pacifica asked as Wendy gagged.

“Nah, Dad said human hair isn’t a very good substitute,” Mabel explained.  “And I let Dipper burn all those puppets I made to help make up for how I treated him.  I’m not really sure what we can do. Maybe we’ll get levitation powers if we practice?”

“Well I think we should keep an eye on them,” Wendy said, pointed to the imposters.  “I want to know exactly what they're going to do with us."

“Yeah, we need to keep track of everything they’re doing in our bodies,” Pacifica agreed.  “I should be on my way to work by now. I want to make sure I know everything this lady’s done so I can apologise when I’m back in control and - oh!  Oh no!”

“What?”  Mabel looked at her in alarm.  “What’s wrong?”

“I was going to the arcade with Dipper!” Pacifica wailed.  “He’ll think I forgot or didn’t care!”

Mabel gave a frustrated yell, shaking a fist at the women.  “First you make my brother think I’m mad at him, now you mess up his date?  That does it ladies!” Mabel narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Forget sicking Wendy on you.  I’m telling my _Mom_ ,” she growled, the last word said in the same tone someone would use when talking about bloodthirsty sharks.

“First, not a date,” Wendy clarified, earning a scathing look from Pacifica.  “Second, this could actually be a good thing. Listen, I’ve got an afternoon shift coming up but something tells me Whitney or whatever her name is wouldn’t show up even if she did know about it.  Pamela won’t show up at the arcade. Marcey was mean to Dipper and if she misses the walk and your appointment with Passuum it's going to look weird if all of us act weird on the same day. Yeah, it sucks that they’re ruining our lives but you know how suspicious Dipper is, hopefully it will only take a day or two for him to realise we’re imposters before he calls Ford and they cast a spell or whatever to reverse this.”

“I don’t know, Wendy,” Mabel said doubtfully.  “That Marcey lady was smart when she was mean to Dipper.  She made him guilty for questioning her, like he was out of line for doing it.  I mean, Dipper’s biggest flaw is his self-doubt and she pounced on that straight away.  I don’t know about the others but she seems pretty smart. And Professor Passuum told the family I might have mood swings or emotional days and that they should just be patient.  Unless she crosses a line I think she’ll keep this up for a while. What about your families of friends? Won’t they notice anything?”

“Nope,” Wendy grunted in annoyance.  “The boys made a few jokes about the way I was dressed and Dad asked why I didn’t have my hat or axe.  She told them I was on my period and that shut them right up.” Wendy rolled her eyes. “ _Men_.  When we left Gus was asking what a ‘strating’ was and why I could do it if I was a girl.  So no, they’re too scared to ask any questions now.”

“Okay, awkward,” Pacifica said.  “I doubt my family will pick up on anything either.  Dad’s too focused on work to care about me. Mom might, but she’ll probably think it’s puberty or something.”  She glanced down. “Neither of them really know me enough to tell if I were acting out of character, anyway,” she muttered.

Wendy gritting her teeth in frustration.  “So, whether they meant it or not, they’ve probably picked the right three people to possess at the right time.  And this is Gravity Falls so people acting strange is pretty much the norm. So maybe it won’t take Dipper a day to figure it out.  Maybe a week? But come on, we can live with one week of not being ourselves! I mean, we’ve got Dipper, Ford and McGucket, that’s three of the smartest people I know, all in one town.  At least one of them will be able to help us. And it’s not like the town won’t understand it when we do get control again. I mean, whatever these three do in our bodies, the moment we explain we were possessed, the town will probably accept it in a second.  Yeah, this sucks but we’ve been through worse. In the meantime, we’ll just follow these three, learn all about them and try to remember everything they do so we can explain or apologise for it later.”

“Yeah,” Mabel said, nodding.  “This is Gravity Falls. They’ll understand.  And if we follow them, maybe we can learn more about them, learn who they are, why they’ve done this and how they got in our bodies.”

“Well we’d better get a move on,” Pacifica said, gesturing towards the ground.  After several minutes of running, jumping, dancing, cartwheeling and everything else they could think of, the women finally seemed to have stopped showing off or trialling their new forms, laughing and joking as they made their way to the park exit.  “I don’t want to lose sight of them.”

The three spirits nodded and flew towards the women, wondering just what trouble they would cause and listening to them plan out their activities for the day.

“Lunch and clothes are on me ladies,” Pamela cried, waving a large stack of bills.  “I found all this money and I’m going to treat my best friends to a day they’ll never forget.”

“My wages!” Pacifica screamed.  “My tip money! I worked hard for that!”

“I’ll take you up on that,” Marcey grunted, plucking at Mabel's t-shirt.  “This girl has the most ghastly sense of fashion I have ever seen. I think I’ll need to throw everything in the trash.”

“Not my sweaters!”  Mabel wailed. “Is nothing I love sacred to you, lady?  What’s next, are you going to burn down the Shack?”

“Yeah, me too,” Whitney said, glancing down at her own clothing.  “This girl had literally no skirts or dresses, can you believe that?  What’s the point of looking like this if you don’t dress to match it?”  She grinned. “But look at this hair! When I get dolled up I am going to flirt with so many honeys!”

“Ugh, she’s going to dress me like a girl,” Wendy groaned.  “Wait. Honeys?” Then she saw the way the woman in her body was looking around the park, lingering a second longer on the women until a man and woman in running shorts and t-shirts jogged past, her gaze following them.  “Oh God,” Wendy said, putting her head in her hands. When she looked up it was to give Mabel and Pacifica a measured stare. “If she does anything with any girls in my body, you’d better not tell Dipper,” she warned them.

Pacifica rolled her eyes.  “Like I want to fill his head with images of you making out with a girl,” she scoffed.  “I want him to get over you, remember?”

 

* * *

 

_Author’s Note:  So, body swapping.  Not as confusing as time travel, especially since this is technically possession and not true body swaps.  The real body swapping will come in a later story. Anyway, if you forget who’s in who’s body here’s a simple reminder:  Marcey = Mabel’s body, Whitney = Wendy’s body, Pamela = Pacifica’s body. You may have noticed they’ve got the same first letter as the girl they are inhabiting.  How convenient. I was going to make a lazy writing joke but I already did that in my previous fanfic. I’m not above poking fun at myself. Hope you like the story!_

 


	4. Chapter 4

“C’mon, kid, you can do it!” Stan urged as Dipper jabbed at the punching bag.  “Watch your feet! Footwork’s just as important as where you put your fists.”

Dipper grunted, the sweat from his brow dripping into his eyes as he tried to move his feet, difficult considering how exhausted he felt just lifting the heavy gloves.

They were in the gym at McGucket's Hootenanny Hutt (previously known as Northwest Manor), where the Pines brothers were staying until they found a more permanent residence in town.  Fiddleford McGucket was in no hurry to see them leave, pleased to have a bit more company in the large home and offered them the choice of several rooms and use any of the facilities available, including the pool, laboratory, inside movie theatre and the gym to give their niece and nephew boxing lessons.

Stan watched his great nephew, considering the weak strikes and heavy breaths, getting heavier with each punch.  Dipper’s lack of muscles had always been a slightly touchy subject for the boy but he’d been willing to put in the effort to do something about that, even if Stan suspected that it was more to do with spending time with his family and Wendy than any actual desire to learn how to box.  But he seemed to be struggling today and Stan suspected it had something to do with the fact that his sister wasn’t with him. When he had come to collect the siblings, Dipper had only said that Mabel was having a bad day and that it would just be him for their lesson.

“Okay, kid, let’s leave it there for now,” Stan said after a few more minutes of workout.  “Good job. Have a drink and cool down. You wanna go for that walk once you’ve showered?”

Dipper shook his head, removing his helmet to better wipe at his brow.  “No thanks,” he panted. “I’m tired. And I’ve made plans to meet Pacifica at the arcade so I can just grab some lunch and just walk there.  That can be the rest of my workout.”

Stan grinned and gave a low whistle.  “Meeting up with the Northwest girl, huh?  You little Casanova! I knew you had it in you!”

“It’s not like that!” Dipper snapped, tearing the gloves off with his teeth as he glared at the grinning man.  “We’re just friends! I wish people would just mind their own business!” He threw the gloves to the ground and made his way to the shower.

“Aw c’mon, kid!”  Stan called after him.  “I was only teasing! Dipper!”

Dipper ignored him, leaving the room and muttering as went for a shower.  Even when he had washed and changed his mood was barely any lighter. He stuffed his shower gel and workout clothes into the bag before he returned to the gym, Stan nowhere in sight.  He paused when he saw his reflection in the mirror that took up all of one wall, no doubt to appeal to the Northwest’s vanity as they worked on their bodies. He shook his head at the short, skinny teen glaring back at him.  He flexed his arm and saw the muscles barely twitch. He sighed and gave his bicep a disgruntled pat, wondering what the point of it all was.

“Even the most intense workouts take more than a few weeks to show any noticeable development, Dipper,” Ford said from the doorway.

Dipper cleared his throat, embarrassed that his hero had caught him doing something so childish.  “Uh, hey, Grunkle Ford. Uh, how’s it going?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Ford said watching his great nephew carefully.  “Fiddleford and Tate have been planning to create a new element and asked for my help.  It’s been a difficult and frustrating experience, a series of failures one after another.  I’m quite enjoying it. But more importantly, how are you?”

Dipper looked away in guilt.  “I guess you know I snapped at Grunkle Stan, huh?”

Ford nodded.  “I was here earlier but you didn’t see me so I decided to wait outside until I heard the door open.  I always try to drop by and see you and your sister when you have your lessons. I like to see you both doing so well.  It makes me proud.”

Dipper blinked in surprise before he remembered that for every lesson, Ford would be there at the end.  He had always assumed it was just to let Stan know when it was time for their walk.

“But I cannot help notice that today you are alone and that you seemed a little distracted before you were short with Stanley,” Ford continued.  “And it doesn’t take a genius to realise they may be related.”

“Sorry,” Dipper said, rubbing his neck.  “I didn’t mean to snap at Stan, I just-”

“Stan needs a little snap now and then,” Ford said with a smile.  “We all do. My brother and I especially, we deserve it for our many shortcomings.”  Ford sat down on a bench beside the ring as Dipper gave a hesitant smile in agreement.  “You’re going through a great deal, Dipper. I’m not just talking about puberty and hormones - though I can still recall how difficult that was, even at this age - but you’ve also suffered more than anyone should.  You’ve shouldered too much for someone so young. But you keep on fighting. And not just for yourself. You’ve done so much for Mabel and been through so much it’s understandable that sometimes the stress can get to you.  It’s not a flaw, it’s just how people are. You needn’t bare these burdens alone. That was a foolish mentality I carried for far too long. But you are far wiser than I am, Dipper, and I know that if you need some help then you will ask for it.  It’s a trait I’m very envious of, quite frankly.”

“...This is your way of trying to say you’re here if I want to talk, isn’t it?”

“Yes.  I’ve been stuck on a boat with Stanley for most of a year.  I think I tend to ramble a bit now that I can converse with people who won’t just slap me on the back of the head if I talk for more than a minute.  So, what’s wrong? How can I help?”

Dipper sighed and sat down beside the older scientist, thinking back to that morning.  “It’s just, Mabel and I had an argument this morning. She was acting strange and when I asked her about it she got all defensive and said she needed some alone time.  So now I guess I’m just mad.”

Ford nodded as he listened, his fingers drumming on the wooden bench.  “I see. I must admit I’m a bit surprised that you’re angry at this, Dipper.  In my experience, you tend to feel more guilty than angry when you argue with your sister.  Even when you believe that she is in the wrong. Did anything else happen?”

“No,” Dipper sighed, looking away.  “Yes,” he admitted a moment later. “It’s just -  I know she’s hurting, Grunkle Ford. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.  It’s taken a toll on her, I can see that. I’ve been trying to spend as much time as possible with her, make sure I’m there if she needs the support.  I’ve even been willing to watch that stupid Dream Boy High movie with her when she’s been down. But this morning she told me I was needy and insecure, just because I wanted to make sure she was alright!  I mean, I know I can be a little insecure at times, but I’ve been following her all summer to make sure she’s fine! And I know she probably just said that because she’s hurting, but it still hurt.” He leaned forward, remembering the anger in his sister’s eyes.  “I know I should try to be patient, Professor Passuum said there’d be bad days, but I don’t think she should have said that to me either. And - and a part of me is worried that she was right. Wendy tried to urge me to get away from Mabel for a while. She said it was because was worried that I was spending too much time with her when I should have been enjoying the summer more.  What if she also said that because of Mabel? What if I’ve been suffocating her all this time without realising it? She’s got enough on her plate with needing to worry about me.”

Ford leaned forward too, an elbow on his knee and his chin resting on his hand, just like his great nephew.  “Ah, the human mind. I always preferred scientific facts and statistics, not something as fluid as psychology. But Professor passuum is very good at her work.  What I’ve read is very impressive. So I believe that Mabel is in excellent hands with her. But more importantly, I believe she has you. Perhaps you and your sister have been spending too much time together.  Even the closest of relationships can need a little time apart.” Ford sat up straighter, elbowing his nephew and grinning playfully. “Stanley and I had to share a boat, I know how tempting it is to wish to get away!”

“I’m surprised you didn’t throw each other overboard,” Dipper chuckled, also sitting up straighter.

“We did,” Stanley grunted, leaning against the doorway and watching them.  “Plenty of times. Doesn’t matter how close we’ve become, there’s only so many geek rants I can take.”

“And only so many of your jokes that I can take,” Ford countered with a smirk.

“Oh, uh, hey, Stan,” Dipper said, hesitantly.  “I’m sorry for-”

“Eh, forget it,” Stan said with a dismissive wave, walking over to join them on the bench.  “I’ve had way worse said to me by family. And your sister shouldn’t have said that to you,” he added.  “I think you two should have some time apart - me and Ford definitely needed some whenever we hit port - but that don’t mean she shoulda said you were needy.  You’re just trying to look out for her. You didn’t do nothing wrong, kid. She’s just...hurt. And sometimes when you’re hurt, getting angry is the only thing that can make you feel better, even when you get mad at somebody who doesn’t deserve it.”  He slapped a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to her when I take her to the Prof. She’ll see she was wrong.”

“Uh, thanks, Stan,” Dipper said, surprised that Stan would come to his defence against Mabel of all people.  

“Do you know what my biggest flaw is, Dipper?”  Ford asked his nephew. “Neither do I,” he said when Dipper shook his head.  “I have so many it’s hard to rate them. My pride. My lack of social skills.  I have so many that I doubt even I have enough fingers and toes to count them all.”

“Hell, the Multi-Bear doesn’t even have enough,” Stan grunted.

“But one of the most common is that I tend to put myself first,” Ford continued, rolling his eyes at his brother.  “For years, Stanley put my needs and desires before his own. Always protecting me, assisting me, encouraging me. I waited too long before I told him how much I appreciated that.  I know that you and I are much more similar than you and Stan,” Ford said, looking Dipper in the eyes. “But I am very glad to see that this admirable trait of Stanley’s is also one that you possess.  It is one of your most admirable features.” He hesitated, unsure if he should continue. “Unfortunately, it is a strength that Mabel has not inherited to the same degree.”

Dipper frowned, looking at Ford in surprise.  “But she’s-”

“Your sister is an amazing person, Dipper,” Ford said, putting a reassuring hand on Dipper’s shoulder.  “I love her and I admire how close you two are, and all of your strengths. You have both done so much for each other, it is a bond that surpasses even the one I share with my brother.  But there is one thing she and I have in common, Dipper, and that is that we have both taken our brothers for granted.”

“She hasn’t-”

“Not to the same extent that I have,” Ford said quickly.  “She has done so much for you. But you have done so much for her too, and I sometimes fear that she has come to just expect it instead of appreciate it.  I’m not saying this to criticise Mabel, I can hardly call her out for something I have done so many times. I am saying this so that you are aware of just how much you have done for her.  When people experience something their entire lives, they often fail to realise just how lucky they are. And Mabel is very lucky to have you, Dipper.”

“Sixer’s right,” Stan grunted.  “You’re a good brother. And I’m the greatest brother in the world so I know what I’m talking about!”

“I knew I’d regret buying that mug,” Ford muttered.

“So don’t let your little argument get to that big head of yours,” Stan continued, flicking Dipper on the back of the head.  “You’re doing fine. I mean, Mabel’s just like me; strong, gorgeous, amazing at everything, loved by all, heroic, brave - hang on, I was going somewhere with this.  Oh, right. The point was that nobody’s perfect. Not even Mabel. So yeah, if she hurts you, talk to her about it. You two knuckleheads have been through too much together for one little argument to come against you.  This family’s stuck with each other. For better or worse.”

“Thanks, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper said, this morning seeming further away now.  “Thanks, Grunkle Ford. I’ll talk to Mabel after dinner.” He checked his watch.  “But right now I’ve got to get to the arcade. See you guys later!”

“You sure you don’t want me to give you a ride?” Stan called after him.  “I’m picking up your sister anyway so I might as well drop you off for your date!”

“It is not a date!”

Stan grinned and elbowed his brother as he got to his feet.  “Oy! Teenagers! Let’s hope they don’t make the same mistakes we made, huh?”

Ford dismissed his brother’s comment with a scoff.  “Please, Stanley,” he grinned back. “I think they’re too smart to be that much like us!”

Both brothers laughed as they made their way out, Ford to continue the experiments with his old friend and his son, Stan to find his niece and gently remind her how much her brother had done for her.

****

* * *

 

 

The three women settled down with their food at the restaurant, several bags of clothes at their feet and an invisible teenager hovering behind them.

“I am so hungry,” Mabel muttered, watching as Marcey consumed her meal.

“I think it’s just phantom hunger,” Pacifica said, glaring at the woman who had spent her hard earned money.

“I am a hungry phantom,” Mabel agreed, watching the food with envious eyes.

“That’s not what - oh never mind,” Pacifica sighed.

“That Marcey’s going to be in for a shock if she doesn’t change her diet,” Wendy commented.  “Those sugar crashes can be brutal for Mabel.”

“That’ll teach her to steal a caffeine slash sugar addict’s body,” Mabel said with no small amount of satisfaction.

“Huh.”  Pamela paused suddenly, considering the stew before her.  “Is it just me or does the food taste different in this town?”

“New taste buds,” Marcey explained, sipping at her tea with less enjoyment than she normally experienced.  “We need to be careful with our food at first. Our favourite meals could make us want to vomit in our new bodies.  I think younger people also have more taste buds so don’t be surprised if anything packs a bigger punch than before.”

“It’s a lot to get used to,” Whitney agreed, picking at her fruit salad.  “This body isn’t as flawless as I first thought. Sure, the strength is incredible and the hair is gorgeous and when I give them a shave I’ll have legs like Bardot or even Fonda, but the feet are just so big!  And the smell!”

“That was you?” Pamela asked, the other women giving groans of disgust when their friend nodded.  “I thought something had died in that changing room!”

“Hey!” snapped Wendy.

“I know,” Whitney muttered, hunching her shoulders in embarrassment.  “Why do you think I got some baking soda? I’m surprised there wasn’t some diseased fungus between these toes, they way they stink.”

“Hey!” Wendy snapped again.

“You do have bad boot-feet stench,” Mabel told her as Pacifica sniggered.  “Even Dipper’s said it’s nasty.”

“What?  Dipper said that?  But we have an arrangement!” Wendy complained.  “He doesn’t complain about my feet, I don’t complain about his sweaty clothes!”

“No, you don’t complain about them in front of each other,” Mabel corrected her.  “You joke about his smell when he’s not there, he jokes about your smell when you’re not there.  Don’t know who you two think you’re fooling,” she muttered quietly as Wendy folded her arms. “Not like the rest of us don’t tell you enough already.”

“My body isn’t perfect either,” Pamela told her friend, patting her arm sympathetically.  “Sure, the figure’s nice but I envy your legs. Mine are slightly stumpy and I fear I may grow up to be rather short.”

“Will not!” Pacifica snapped, her grin vanishing.  “And my legs are not stumpy!”

“I’m also starting to sweat a great deal under my bosoms and I fear that will restrict what I can wear,” Pamela continued, waving a hand at the top of her tube top and pulling at the bottom.  “I do love to wear my whites but it would show so easily and I don’t want to ruin a perfectly alluring outfit with some unfortunate sweat stains. I couldn’t bare to be seen in public if anything of that sort happened.”

“Don’t tell people that!” Pacifica winced, glancing at the other spirits in embarrassment.  Then she saw a group of teenage boys, probably fifteen or sixteen, watching the woman in her body pluck at her top and fanning herself, wishing they’d stop.  She lifted a hand to shield her face, despite knowing they couldn’t see the real her.

“Just ignore them,” Wendy told her, surprising them both with her support.  “They’re just dumb guys. And that’s not really you in there so whatever she does, that’s on her.  Not you.”

“Yeah,” Mabel agreed.  “Boys are dumb. Dipper’s the smartest and even he’s dumb sometimes.  Take it from me and Wendy. We know all about failed romances.”

“Thanks, Mabel,” Wendy deadpanned.

“Anytime!” Mabel said happily.

“Any problems with yours, Marcey?” Whitney asked.

“I seem to have an exceptionally voracious appetite,” Marcey frowned, thinking about her body.  “I’ve got a slight headache and feel slightly lightheaded and sweaty but I’m unsure if that’s normal or if I’m just a little off.  And these braces are very frustrating.” She tapped her teeth. “I won’t complain about my figure, I’m the youngest still so I could have something noteworthy or rather plain, we’ll just have to wait and see.  But you two do have one great advantage over me: between your more developed body and your impressive height, you two could pass for someone a few years older than you are. I, on the other hand…” Marcey gestured to her new form.  “I look just like any other thirteen-year-old. This could make things a little difficult when we leave this backwards town.”

The teenage spirits looked at each other in alarm, surprised to hear that the women were discussing leaving Gravity Falls.  They had been following them throughout the day, through several shops to try on clothes that none of the teens would usually wear. Marcey had selected several trousers and plainer clothes than Mabel would normally have enjoyed, nothing expressive or outlandish, a few bright t-shirts and a jacket or two that made her fit with the crowd in a way Mabel would have been furious at if she didn’t see how the other two women had dressed her friends.  Whitney had gone for clothes that were more feminine than Wendy was used to, starting with a few tops that bared her midriff, something Wendy would only normally wear to festivals. But then she had continued with several skirts and even a few dresses, Wendy loudly complaining that she would never wear anything so girly. Whitney had also selected several shorts that were so short they barely held her cheeks.

But Wendy and Mabel both felt glad that they didn’t suffer like Pacifica.  Pamela had collected clothes that were either too loose or too tight, whichever helped to show off the most flesh.  There was no denying that she was eye-catching and that the teenage boys in the mall were clearly impressed with her new attire.  But the adults would often shake their heads as she wandered past, their expressions either uncomfortable or disapproving. Pacifica barely said a word of complaint as she floated after her, just flinching as she saw the different looks she was receiving and wishing that they would all stop.  Mabel had tried to comfort her to no avail and even Wendy chose not to make any comments about it as the woman flaunted a body that didn’t belong to her, joking and laughing with her friends about all the attention she was getting.

They had learned a little about the women in the hours they’d followed them.  The women seemed to be old but no one had dropped an age yet and their references went over the teenagers heads so often they couldn’t tell which decade they from or even how close they were in ages.  It became clear that they had selected the girls on purpose for several other traits as well as just their youth and looks. Marcey and Whitney boasted about their new endurance and strength so often and in such a way that Wendy suspected they might have had health issues in their own bodies.  Pamela seemed to crave attention so much that Pacifica was disturbingly reminded of her own mother, of the many lengths she had gone to to try and preserve her looks for fear of what time could do to her. Marcey also talked the most and in a way that made it clear she was the leader of their little group, enraging Mabel with her dismissive and often rude attitude towards the townsfolk, even when they were being nothing but nice to her.  But it was also clear that they cared for each other a great deal. They seemed to be life-long friends, or for most of their lives at least. While they couldn’t stand the women for what they had done and were doing to them, none of the teenagers doubted that there was a genuine respect and friendship between them.

But this was the first time they’d heard of any sort of plan to leave town.  The spirits hovered closer to make sure they wouldn’t miss a word.

“Do you think it will be a problem?” Pamela whispered as Whitney leaned closer.  “Should we delay it a bit?”

“No,” Marcey said, shaking her head.  “We’ll continue as planned. It just means that the fake ID I’ll acquire will not give me as much freedom as I would have liked.  I suppose I could make myself fourteen. It’s better than nothing. You can be fifteen, perhaps my big sister? Whitney - you could easily pass for an eighteen-year-old.  Maybe even twenty-one if makeup and clothes are applied correctly, you’re certainly tall enough. We could make you our aunt until a few years pass and we can then look at changing things around again.”

“Ah crap,” Wendy grunted.  “These three have taken identity theft to a whole new level.  We’d better hope Dipper realises who they are before they skip town and change our names.”

“Maybe someone else will notice?” Pacifica suggested.  “I mean, my family probably won’t but what about Soos or your uncles?  I mean, Soos knows you both well and the Pines brothers are a professional conman and paranormal investigator - won't they catch on?”

“Soos - no,” Wendy stated flatly.  “The Stans - maybe. Depends how much time they spend with the new uses.  My money’s still on Dipper.”

“I just hope they stay long enough for him to notice,” Mabel said, biting her lip.  “If they leave tonight they’ll probably just try searching the woods or the Crawlspace for us in case we got lost or kidnapped.”

The three spirits and the people inhabiting their bodies were distracted when they heard the ringing of a phone, the women patting their clothes to find whose it was.

“Up, it’s mine,” Whitney said, pulling out the device and frowning at the name on the screen.  “What the devil is a ‘soos’?” she muttered.

“I think it’s the name of that man who I live with,” Marcey said with a frown.  “Isn’t he your girl’s boss? He seemed like an utter oaf so I don’t think it should be too much of a hassle to think of something.”

“Don’t talk about my friends like that!” Mabel snapped, Wendy glaring at Marcey.

“Eh, if he asks too much I’ll just tell him I’m menstruating,” Whitney said with a shrug, making Marcey and Wendy both roll their eyes and shake their heads.  “Worked on those idiots I’m related to now.” Whitney put the phone on loudspeaker and answered it with a casual air that unintentionally suited her new body perfectly.  “Hello?”

“Hey, Wendy, it’s Soos!” came the jovial reply.  “Your boss! You know, from the Mystery Shack?”

The women looked at each other in puzzlement, Marcey rolling her eyes again and mouthing the words ‘told you so.’

“Yeah, hey, uh, Soos?” Whitney replied.  “Er, what’s shaking?”

“Uh, nothing much, dawg,” Soos replied.  “Just wondering where you were? Your shift started a big while ago so are you on your way?  How far out are you? I tried your home but-”

“”Yeah, can’t make it,” Whitney said, glancing at her nails and deciding to work on them tonight.  “Something came up. My bad. Should have called but you know - it’s a personal thing and I got distracted.”

“Oh, dude, is it like last time?  Like that time with Dipper and Mabel and the armadillo?”

“Armadillo?” Mabel muttered in confusion, not noticing the alarmed look that Wendy and Pacifica shared as the women at the table looked at each other blankly.

“Uh...yes?” said Whitney, wondering if he’d misspoken.  “Yes, it is exactly like that. Which is why I can’t come in.  Sorry,” she added, her train of thought derailed after the comment about the burrowing animal.

“Say no more, dude,” Soos declared jovially.  “If it’s an emergency like that, then I can just let it go.  And no speaker phone this time! I’ll even make sure you still get paid - kinda like hazard pay y’know?”

“Uh, thanks, Soos,” Whitney said, scratching her head as she wondered what he was talking about.  “I appreciate that.”

“Dang it, Soos,” Wendy muttered, rubbing her eyes in frustration as Whitney ended the call.  “Why do you have to be such a good and understanding boss?”

“What was that he was saying about an armadillo?” Mabel asked.  “I think I’d remember that adventure.”

“Uh, you know Soos,” Wendy said, lifting her arms in a shrug.  “Gotta love the guy but who knows how his mind works sometimes, am I right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Mabel said slowly, distracted by the sound of another ringtone.  

“Oh dear,” sighed Pamela, pulling out Pacifica’s phone awkwardly and looking at the device as if it could suddenly bite her at any moment.

“Hit the button, Pam,” Whitney reminded her.  “Then hit the speaker button for everyone to hear.”

“Uh,” Pamela said, eyeing the device wearily.

Whitney sighed and leaned over, answering the call, putting it on speaker and then placing it on the table in front of her friend.

Pamela gave her a grateful smile then leaned over the phone as her friends rolled their eyes.  “Hello?”

“Hey, Pacifica,” Dipper said, causing Pacifica to wince and Mabel to shake her head sadly.  “Uh, I was just phoning to check where you are? Were you held up at the diner?”

“Uh,” said Pamela, glancing at her friends with pleading eyes, just like she had done with the previous call from a woman named Lazy Susan who had checked on her when she didn’t appear for work.  “I’m at the Mall?” she said when they shook their heads.

“Oh.”  There was a slight pause before the boy continued.  “Um, okay. Were we supposed to meet there before the arcade?  I don’t remember talking about that.”

“Um,” said Pamela, scratching her head as she struggled to think of what to say.  “No? I - I just forgot. About the arcade.”

“Oh,” came the reply, the teens hearing the hesitation in his voice.  “Okay. That - that’s fine. Do you want to come over now? Or I could head over there, I know they have that little arcade area we could try out?  I know it’s not as cool as this one but I think there’s one or two-”

“I don’t want to do that, I’m with some friends and I’d much rather spend time with them,” Pamela said quickly, making Pacifica flinch, Mabel leaning forward to rub her arm.  “Is that alright?”

“Oh,” Dipper said again, Marcey rolling her eyes at the tone of his voice as Pamela looked at Whitney with guilt, Whitney patting her hand reassuringly.  “I...okay. That - that’s fine. Um, if you change your mind just let me know. Um, bye.”

“Goodbye,” Pamela said, hanging up quickly and relieved that the call was over.  “Poor boy,” she sighed. “I hope we aren’t dating or anything.”

“Oh please,” Marcey grunted.  “He’s just a child, Pam. And a needy one at that.  Even if he were dating the Northwest girl, she could do so much better than a scruffy little fool like him.”

“Mabel, don’t take this the wrong way but I really want to smash your face in right now,” Wendy growled, cracking her spectral knuckles.

“I’m willing to let you,” Mabel said, taking a break from consoling Pacifica to glare at Marcey.  

“Better switch these to silent,” Marcey said, pulling out Mabel’s phone.  “We can just say that we didn’t hear them and that way we can avoid any more awkward conversations.  Whitney, help Pam with hers, we need to - Whitney?”

“Hmm,” said Whitney, watching a handsome couple enter a shop, the man tall and muscular,  the woman curvaceous.

“Whitney!” Marcey snapped, waving a hand in front of her face.  “Pay attention! You can seduce all the women you want when we get out of this hick town!”

“Yeah,” said Whitney, a strange look on her face, a mixture of confusion, fear and uncertainty.  “About that...um, hold on one second, I - I need to check something.” Without waiting for a reply she left the table, heading for the same shop the couple entered.

“Oh God,” Wendy groaned, putting her head in her hands.  “Please don’t do anything with a married lady! I’ve got enough of a reputation as it is!”

Marcey and Pamela stared after her, unable to believe that even Whitney couldn’t wait until their business in town was sorted before she tried to enjoy herself.  But their disbelief turned to puzzlement when she returned a few moments later, her face red and her expression disbelieving.

Marcey and Whitney shared a look before they spoke to their friend.  “Whitney?” Pamela asked her gently. “Are you alright, dear?”

“No, Pam, I’m not,” Whitney breathed barely coming to terms with the change this new body had brought her.  “I think…” She swallowed loudly and shook her head before she continued, looking at her friends’ concerned faces.  “I think...I think I like boys now.”

The women stared at her as if she had just grown wings.  “What!?” they cried together.

Whitney nodded, barely believing it herself.  “It took me so long to realise. I’d been watching the girls, seeing if there was anyone I could try this new body out on, you know?”

“Ew,” grunted Wendy.

“But I wasn’t getting a real thrill, it was more like I was just appreciating them,” Whitney continued.  “Then I saw that balding blond guy with the big arms in the shorts and I got a bit flustered!”

“Ha!” cried Pacifica.  “The lady in your body has a thing for that crazy Mister Poolcheck!”

“Yes, I saw him too,” breathed Pamela, nodding appreciatively and biting her lower lip, her cheeks flushing in excitement, her eyes glazing over as she made a sound at the back of her throat.

“Oh my God!” cried Pacifica.  “The lady in my body has a thing for that crazy Mister Poolcheck!  And she’s a perv!”

“And when I followed that couple in there, it didn’t matter how long I stared at her chest, I felt nothing!” Whitney said, rubbing her head anxiously.  “But one second watching the guy’s arms and I felt my heart go faster! What do I do?” she asked her friends. “I’ve liked girls my whole life! How can I live like this?”

“There, there,” Pamela said gently, coming over to join her friend and pulling Whitney’s head to her chest, much to Wendy and Pacifica’s annoyance.  “Let my girls comfort you.”

“Those are my girls!” Pacifica snapped.  “And stop being such a creep!”

“This isn’t as fun as it used to be!” Whitney whimpered as Wendy pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“Okay, Whitney,” Marcey said, getting to her feet and shaking her head as she suddenly felt dizzy.  “We’ll think of something. Maybe that sorceress...who...we…” She struggled to continue as she wiped the sweat from her brow, her stomach gurgling loudly before she lost control of her legs and fell to the ground.

“Ha!” Wendy yelled as Marcey’s friends rushed to help her.  “Told you Mabel’s crashes were bad! I hope you hit your head as you fell!  Er, no offense, Mabel.”

“None taken,” Mabel said with a grin, watching the woman writhe in her body.  “That’ll teach her to mess with Mabel Pines!”

 

* * *

****

“I hope she’s alright,” Pamela said over the phone as Whitney made her way to the Corduroy home several hours later.  She’d had to memorise the route since it didn’t appear on any maps, the sorceress’ information warning her that her host’s father seemed to be one of those survivalist nutcases who distrusted having his whereabouts known to anyone.

“She’ll be fine,” Whitney grunted as she finally caught side of the cabin.  “Her uncle’s a doctor and they all seemed to know what they’re doing. You know Marcey, she’ll be up and about and bossing us around in no time.”

“I certainly hope so,” Pamela sighed.  “How are you coping? No health issues on your end?”

“Fit as a fiddle,” Whitney declared happily, flexing her muscles and kissing her bicep, Wendy rolling her eyes behind her back.  “Anyway, I’d better go. This body’s getting hungry and who knows what these savages are probably trying to cook. Probably only eat takeout and microwaved meals.”

“Kiss my axe, you pretentious old hag!” Wendy snapped.

“Well, I’ve had a lovely meal at home,” Pamela sighed.  “I changed outfits before I arrived so the parents wouldn’t complain but I received a few compliments about my more measured attitude.  I suspect Pacifica Northwest has become a little rough around the edges since losing her wealth.”

“Bite me!” Wendy heard Pacifica yell.

“Maybe, but I doubt she’s any rougher than this girl,” Whitney commented, looking at her hands.  “All calluses and chipped nails. And no makeup! Only moisturiser and lip balm! Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, Pam.” she ended the call and entered the cabin that reminded her of where inbred killers in horror movies usually lived.

“Wendy!” Manly Dan barked, making her jump as he strode towards her.  “I’ve got a bone to pick with you! I got a call from your work checking why you were running late!  I don’t care if they are a little loose with time over there, you need to-”

“Can’t talk, too busy menstruating,” Whitney said, sliding past the massive man, waving his complaints aside.

“God damn it, Dad,” Wendy muttered, floating through her father as he winced, his expression changing to one of horror.  “Get over it, already.”

Whitney returned to the room where she had woken up, wishing she had taken her new clothes with her.  But something told her that a collection of new clothes would earn her another confrontation with the patriarch of the home and wouldn’t be safe from the grubby little paws of the redheaded boys that seemed to come out of the woodwork.  So she had left them with Pamela since she doubted anyone would bat an eye if Pacifica Northwest went on a shopping spree.

She sat down on the bed, looking around at the messy room with distaste, clothes, CDs, magazines and stuffed toys littering the floor.  “Ugh,” she muttered, earning a glare from the spectre when she pushed her favourite purple panda and duck hybrid off the bed. “No sense of taste at all.”  She was looking at the photographs over the top of the bed when there was a knock at the door and the father of the house opened it a crack, only stepping inside when he saw she was on the bed.

“Hello, Wendy,” he grunted, unusually hesitant.  “I came to talk.”

“Oh God,” Wendy groaned as Whitney watched him approach.

“I, uh, I know you must be having trouble with your...lady problem,” Manly Dan grunted, avoiding looking at her as she only glared at him.  “But that’s no excuse for not taking your job seriously. I know you must have had a good reason to be late - well, a good reason for being late enough for them to call here,” he grunted, reflecting on his daughter’s poor timekeeping.  “But you should make sure to update your work if you’re behind. I know you don’t like the job but it’s not just about you. That Soos is a good man. Even if you hate the work, you can’t just leave him in the dark. He deserves better. And if you want to get paid, you need to put in the effort,” he added giving her a measured glare.  “That’s the way the world works. You can’t be expected to get something for nothing. You got that?” he growled.

His daughter seemed to consider his words for a moment, confusing him since he would normally have only received an annoyed grunt or sarcastic remark by this point.  “You’re right,” she told him, confusing him even further. “I should have called them. I shouldn’t be rewarded if I don’t put in the work. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” he said, this situation completely new to him.  “Er, Good. Good.” He cleared his throat before he returned to glaring at her.  “Now, I expect you to be up early tomorrow to make up for the time you lost,” he told her.  “If you miss a day’s work, it’s only proper that you make up for it later and -”

“Uh, I dunno if I can make work tomorrow,” Whitney sighed, shaking her head.  “I’ve still got my little lady leak to deal with,” she sighed.

“Uh,” said Dan, the glare vanishing.

I mean, all these cramps,” Whitney continued, patting her belly as Wendy called her every name she could think of.  “I mean, woof! I tell ya, the pain a girl’s body goes through, it’s like a war zone, all the blood we squeeze out in our lifetime!  I mean, can you imagine it?” she continued as Dan started to slowly back out of the room. “It’s like my uterus is just screaming at me, saying ‘make a baby!  Make a baby!’ And I’m here telling it to go to hell, that I want to live my life but suddenly that’s not good enough for the uterus, it’s made all these eggs for me to use and then I don’t use them so suddenly it’s going mental on me, deciding to punish me, like a punch in my lady parts over and over and over, but it’s not my fault is it?  I never asked for them, but it keeps giving me these things I don’t want and suddenly I’m the bad guy just because I don’t use them! And then, just to make it all worse, it decides to take all these unwanted eggs and push them-”

“I’ll get dinner ready!” Dan yelled, throwing the door open, his three sons who were leaning against the wood falling into the room, their faces matching his own.  “Get out of here!” he roared at them, shaking his fist as they scampered, slamming the door behind him.

“I hate you so much,” Wendy told Whitney as the woman lay on her bed with a smug smirk, picking a magazine up from the floor and thumbing through it.

After a few minutes, her stomach growled and Whitney got to her feet, checking to see what they would be having for dinner just in case it was something that she’d actually be willing to eat.

Manly Dan heard her enter the room where he was preparing the meal, wincing when he saw her at the doorway before he returned to the stove.  “Dinner’s going to be ready in-”

He almost jumped out of his skin as his daughter released a piercing shriek that could have woken the dead.

“BAMBI!” his daughter was screaming in horror, tears running down her cheeks as she cradled the head of the elk, staring into its dark lifeless eyes, her shoulders shaking with her heavy sobs, her father glancing around the room as his mind failed to process what was happening.  “Murderer!” she screamed, pointing an accusing finger at him. “How could you?”

“But-” he looked from the elk to his daughter and back again, struggling to form the words.  “But you love elk!”

“I’M A VEGETARIAN!” she screamed, taking a spoon from the table and launching it at him, hitting him on the chest before she ran out the room, pushing aside her brothers and wailing in despair.

Wendy put a hand over her eyes and shook her head in dismay as her family watched the disturbed woman from the window, saying nothing as she ran like a deer, still hearing her cries even when she had vanished from sight.

“Boys,” Manly Dan said to his sons when he finally managed to speak.  “Never have daughters. They may be fearsome, but they can scare ya and they just ain’t worth the hassle.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Wendy grunted as her brothers nodded.  “Glad you’ve got my back.” She sighed and sped after her fleeing woman, following the screams.  “Let’s hope Dipper catches on soon.”

****

* * *

****

Marcey opened her eyes and groaned, looking around the strange room in confusion.  “Where am I?”

There was a rush of movement and a boy with messy hair and an awful hat appeared beside her, offering her glass of water.  “You’re home, Mabel,” he said softly, helping her to sit up. “How are you feeling?”

Marcey stared at him for a moment, trying to remember who he was.  Then the memories from earlier that day came flooding back and she took the glass, sipping it slowly to give her enough time to gather her thoughts.

“Yeah, take your time,” Mabel muttered from the ceiling.  “Not like Dipper’s worried or anything.”

“What happened?” she asked once she had finished the glass, passing it back to him.  “I suddenly felt so weak and then-”

“You fainted, Mabel,” Dipper told her gently.  “At the Mall? Looks like you had a major sugar crash.  What have you eaten today?”

“Crash?” repeated Marcey blankly.  “A sugar crash?”

“Well, yeah,” said Dipper, puzzled by her shocked expression.  “Are you okay? What were you doing that stopped you from eating?”

Marcey blinked, wondering how much sugar this girl normally consumed if she crashed this hard and made a mental note to watch her diet.  Maybe try those horrendous energy drinks the youth seemed so addicted to. Was that it? Did she have a medical condition?

“I, uh, I was at the Mall,” she told him slowly, trying to think up an excuse.  “With my friends. I, I guess I forgot to eat as much as I should have since I was having so much fun with them.  Wait. Where are they? Are they here?” She tried to get out of bed but he pushed her back down. Either she was weaker than she had first thought or this boy was stronger than he looked.

“Easy, Mabel.  Wendy and Pacifica are fine,” he said, the names taking a second to register with the woman.  “They were really worried about you. We all were. You missed your appointment with Professor Passuum because of this.  But - what were you doing with Wendy and Pacifica? They can’t stand each other, why were you all together?”

“Answer that, Miss Smarty-Pants!” challenged Mabel.

Marcey looked at him, surprised to hear of a rivalry between the two girls.  There had been no mention about that in the sorceress’ emails. This was problematic - two enemies who suddenly started acting like close friends would get attention.  The sorceress should have warned them about that, she would have to launch a complaint for poor information gathering. “I, uh, I wanted to get them to try and settle their differences,” Marcey said, lowering her eyes and giving an uncomfortable shrug to try and gain his sympathy.  “You know, try and make us all friends. And I - I was so focused on doing that, I guess I forgot to take better care of myself. Sorry,” she added with as much misery she could muster.

“Dang, she gave a good answer,” Mabel fumed, crossing her arms and watching her brother.

“Oh,” Dipper said, nodding in understanding.  “Okay that makes sense.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure how to ask his next question.  “But - but why didn’t you tell me Pacifica was there?” he asked. “You know we had plans for the arcade. Why didn’t you try and do it after that?”

Marcey frowned at him, her patience wearing thin.  “You can play games with her anytime,” she said, crossing her arms.  “This was about getting Wh-Wendy and Pacifica to stop being enemies. Isn’t that more important?”

Dipper frowned back at her, taken aback by her sudden change in attitude.  “Mabel, that - I mean, I can see where you’re coming from but don’t you think you still should have let me know?  I was looking forward to spending time with a friend. I thought one of you would have tried to call me, even if you didn’t want me there.”

“Don’t you think that sounds a little self-centred?” Marcey said, giving him a challenging glare as Mabel gasped.

“Me?” cried Dipper and Mabel winced at the anger in his voice.  “What about you! You’re the self-centred one! I’ve been trying to help you all summer!  If you wanted time away from me then you should have just asked instead of yelling at me this morning!  Didn’t you promise this summer wouldn’t be like the last, that you’d try not to make everything about you?  And now you’re telling me that the plans you made with our friends are more important than the ones I made with them?  Mabel, why are you being so selfish?” he demanded, Mabel rubbing her arms awkwardly.

“I’m selfish?” Marcey challenged, sitting upright.  “How dare you? I’m - I am going through things that you wouldn’t understand.  I’m trying to help my friends while you just want to waste your summer having fun!”

“What?” Mabel perked up at the confusion in her brother’s voice.  “Of course I want to have fun! That’s what we came here to do! Fun and adventure and mysteries and magic and even more of what we had last summer!  Mabel, I - I know this summer’s been difficult,” he said trying to lower his voice. “That you feel bad about the - the Cipher Cult and Weirdmageddon.  But I’m trying to help you. And I don’t think I deserve to just be ignored like this, Mabel. My feelings are important too. And you’ve - I don’t like the way you’re treating me,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, unaware that his sister was beside him, her hand gently drifting through his hair as she gazed at him with guilt and sympathy.

There was silence for a moment as the brother, the sister and the stranger thought about what had just been said.

“What kind of magic?” Marcey asked, finally breaking the silence.

“What?” asked Dipper and Mabel together, giving her the same puzzled look.

“You said we’d come looking for magic,” Marcey said, thinking hard.  “What kind of magic?”

“Uh,” said Dipper, bewildered by the change of subject.  “Like, magic? You know, the gnomes and things? You wanted to see the faeries, I was thinking that we could maybe find a magical artifact for Soos and Melody’s wedding or just for the Shack - wait, why are we talking about this?  Didn’t you hear what I said?” He watched her with a mixture of concern and irritation, trying to decipher the strange look on her face. Then she left the bed to walk over to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Dipper heard his sister say quietly.  “You were right. I was being selfish. I shouldn’t have done that.  I do need time alone but when I’m ready I’m going to make it up to you and we’ll do all those things together.  I promise. Can you ever forgive me for being so selfish and cruel?”

Dipper sighed, unsure how to feel as a mixture of emotions rose up.  Relief, acceptance, regret, concern, all at once. “Hey, so you’ve been a little selfish, what else is new?” he joked, returning the hug.  “We’ll always forgive each other. What would we do without each other?”

He felt her nod on his shoulder, unaware that his real sister was glaring at the woman and the calculating look she wore as she manipulated the teen.  “Why don’t we talk for a little while?” she asked. “You can tell me all about your day. But I’m very tired so I think you’ll have to do all the talking.”

“That makes a change,” he chuckled.

“Hmm,” she said, breaking the hug.  “But can you do one last thing for me?  One last selfish request? Can you get me another water?  I’m a bit thirsty.”

Dipper sighed and shook his head with a smile.  “Sure, Mabel. I can do that at least.”

“And maybe a snack?  I think my sugar levels are running low again.”

“Whatever you say, Mabel,” he chuckled.

Marcey waited until the door closed and she heard him descend the stairs before she pulled out Mabel’s phone and scrolled through the contacts, Mabel resting her ear inside of the phone to make sure she heard the conversation.  “Whitney? Are you there?”

“Um, I’m afraid it’s me,” Pamela answered in Pacifica’s voice.  “Whitney’s a bit upset at the moment, so I answered for her,” she explained, a series of sobs and whimpers in the background.

“Is she alright?” Marcey asked in alarm, Mabel surprised to hear such sounds in Wendy’s voice.

“Um, I’m afraid she had a bit of a start,” Pamela explained.  “It turns out her new family are a tad carnivorous so she’ll be spending the night with me at the lovely little home the Northwests have.”

“Oh,” Marcey said, listening to her friends sob in the background.  “Listen, I need you to tell her something. I’ve spoken to that little troll-boy and it seems he knows about magic.  This is very dangerous for us - if he knows about magic he might realise what’s wrong with his sister and friends. For all we know, he could send us back to our old bodies.  We’ll have to leave this town earlier than expected. Probably tomorrow.”

“What?” a pair of familiar voices yelled over the whimpers in the background.

“Wendy?” Mabel called, surprised she could hear her ghostly friends over the phone.  “Pacifica? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, we can hear you,” Wendy answered.

“I’ve got some things I’ll need to do in the morning,” Marcey continued, unaware of the second conversation.  “But I’ll text you - no - I’ll text Whitney the details. In the meantime, you two prepare yourselves, gather whatever money, supplies or sellable items you can carry,” she told them.  “We’ll meet up later in the day and then we can leave this town and start our new lives.”

“Wendy!” Mabel yelled into the phone while Marcey had her own conversation.  “Stay there! I’ll meet you both at Pacifica’s! I’ve got a plan! I think I know someone who can help us!”

“Okay, Mabes, we’ll-” the rest of the sentence was caught off as Marcey ended the call, Mabel throwing her one last dirty look before she flew through the window towards her friends, hoping she wasn’t making a big mistake.


	5. Chapter 5

“It was horrible!” Whitney whispered piteously. “The eyes, Pam! They were begging for help! But I couldn’t help it, I was too late. Too late…” She whimpered and buried her face in her friend’s lap, trying to hide from the memories.

“This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Pacifica said, watching herself gently stroke Wendy’s hair as she softly murmured words of comfort.

“Yep,” Wendy agreed.

There was a knock at the door and Priscilla entered with a tray of tea and several biscuits. “How are you two doing?” she asked.

Pamela gently eased Whitney off her lap and used a pillow as a temporary replacement. “We’re doing fine, thank you,” she said as she took the tray. “She just needs a bit of rest and some girl time.”

“Poor dear,” Priscilla said quietly, watching the mourning redhead. “Still, I’m glad to see you taking such good care of your friends,” she told her daughter, pride in her voice.

“Thanks, Mom,” Pacifica said quietly, a sad smile on her lips.

“Um, yes, well,” Pamela said a little awkwardly. “Thank you for the tea. But I think she still needs a little more attention so if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not, darling,” Priscilla said, kissing her on the top of her head. “You girls try not to stay up too late.”

“Pretty cool of your Mom to just let me, er, her stay over after I - she - just turned up crying like that,” “Wendy commented as Priscilla closed the door and Pamela poured the tea.

“Yeah,” Pacifica agreed. “She’s still struggling with a lot of the mother-daughter stuff. What she’s supposed to say or do or how to support me. But she’s trying.”

The two friends sipped their tea and tried the biscuits, wary in case their new taste buds halted their enjoyment but relieved to find the treats were still good. “First I turn straight, now I learn my new family’s a pack of murderers.” Whitney shook her head, oblivious to Wendy’s scowl. “This new life isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”

“You know, Whitney, I’m having a few fears about this body too,” Pamela confessed, sipping her tea. “The more I think about it, the more nervous I become. Going through puberty again will be no easy task. And if your body has rejected your previous inclinations, what if this one has the same sort of problem? I mean, whatever shall I do if I just don’t have the same pain tolerance as before?”

“Pain tolerance?” Pacifica whimpered.

“Uh, Pam?” Whitney hesitated, the look of discomfort on Wendy’s body matching her spirit for once. “You do know you’re underage now, right? You might look mature but you’re going to have to be extra careful around men before you’re old enough to really do anything.”

“Yes, that is a bother,” Pamela sighed. “It will be especially difficult to restrain myself since this body seems so eager. So  _ very _ eager,” she murmured, licking her lips slowly as her eyes glazed over.

“Well I’ve learned more about you than I ever wanted to know,” Wendy said as Pacifica’s mouth tightened.

“Shut up! I’m not like that! She’s a creep!”

“Hey, nothing wrong with it,” Wendy teased, not bothering to hide her grin. “Everybody’s got different tastes. I mean, all those hormones screaming at you, why not live a little? Experiment, try new things?” Her grin broaden as Pacifica glared at her, no doubt in her mind that the younger girl's face would be crimson if she still had blood.

Whitney bit into a biscuit, thinking hard as the blonde hovering above them unloaded a barrage of curses. “Do you think that sorceress might be able to help us change these bodies?” she asked.

“Wait, what was that?” Wendy’s head snapped to the people below them, holding a hand up to quieten Pacifica.

“I’m not sure,” Pamela frowned as the spirits floated closer to them. “I suppose it’s possible. Surely a few alterations will be easier to manage than a soul transfer?”

“Not like it’s going to be hard for her to get blood this time,” Whitney added. “And we’ll have plenty of money once we get out of this sinkhole and access those accounts.”

“Blood,” Pacifica murmured thoughtfully as the women below them discussed what they would do when they left town. “At the Diner, there was this girl - dark hair, all in black, about sixteen or seventeen - she told me she was headhunting, here for work. I cut myself when I cleared the plates. She must have done this to us!”

“Hey, yeah!” Wendy nodded in agreement. "There was someone like that at the Shack. And I cut myself when I was talking to her!”

“She must have needed our blood to cast a spell on us, get our souls out of our bodies. Did Mabel cut herself too?”

“Uh, not exactly,” Wendy said hesitantly. “She’d made these clay figures and used her blood in the mixture. Thought it was weird that she’d buy two after Mabel told her that,” she muttered.

Pacifica stared at her. “...Why?”

“I dunno,” Wendy sighed, shaking her head. “She said something about making them more lifelike or whatever. I mean, I love her and everything but sometimes I wonder how Dipper can cope for so long, you know?”

“I guess...I guess she keeps him from getting too serious?” Pacifica said, considering the twins. “And he keeps her in check when she gets carried away. Mostly. They even each other out and stop the other from going too far.”

Wendy nodded. “Yeah. They really do benefit from each other. Almost symbiotic, really.”

“Surprised you know that word,” Pacifica muttered.

Wendy shot her a look. “Hey, I was pretty good at biology even before Dipper started teaching me, alright? When you come from a family of lumberjacks, that nature stuff gets ingrained in you.”

They were silent again as they watched their imposters settle down for the night, Pacifica wincing as Pamela posed in the mirror a few times before eventually making her way to bed. “First sleepover in almost a year and it’s with Wendy Corduroy and two identity thieves,” Pacifica muttered as the lights went out. “Not what I was expecting.”

Wendy looked at her. “First in a year? What, does your dad limit how many you can have or something?”

“No, it’s not that,” Pacifica sighed. “It’s just, I’m not exactly swimming in friends. I burned a lot of bridges being mean to everyone for so long. Mabel’s probably my closest friend and she’s away for most of the year.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Wendy muttered, thinking of how boring the year had been without the twins, especially Dipper. “Didn’t expect either of them to mean so much to me, I really felt it when they left. But what about Candy and Grenda? They seem to like you.”

“They do, despite everything I’ve done to them,” Pacifica agreed, recalling all the insults she’d thrown at them throughout the years. “I do think of them as friends but sometimes our tastes are just so different! I don’t mind hanging out at school or even outside it, but a whole night alone with them seems a bit much without Mabel there as well. I guess I really am still a selfish brat,” she muttered bitterly.

“Nah,” said Wendy, surprising the other teen. “Well, maybe,” she conceded, letting irritation replace the surprise. “But some friendships are like that. I mean, I like Candy and Grenda too but I can’t imagine spending time with them if Mabel wasn’t there. And even my close friends...sometimes we can get on each other’s nerves. Hell, recently I’ve started to think that most of us might have drifted apart if Thompson wasn’t there to keep us all together. Tambry and me, we’ve been friends forever. Same deal with Lee and Nate. But some groups need somebody to act as the glue that holds them together. Thompson’s our glue, Mabel’s yours. Friendships aren’t as solid or as easy as television makes them out to be.”

Pacifica nodded, considering the older teen’s words and deciding that there was some wisdom to them. While they hadn’t changed their opinions about each other, they had both been relatively nice to each other save for a few snide remarks. She supposed it was down to their shared suffering. What was the point of arguing when the real enemies were just below them? She watched their sleeping bodies, Pamela muttering in her sleep (a habit she hoped she didn't have) as Whitney snored faintly, a trail of drool at the corner of her mouth (a habit she strongly suspected Wendy did have, making her fear that the muttering was more than likely.)

“Are you really worried I’ll go back to my old habits and hurt Dipper?” Pacifica asked her suddenly.

Wendy sighed, unsure if this conversation would make things worse or better between them. “Yes,” she told her. “I’m not like Mabel and Dipper. I don’t have as much faith in people and it’s harder for me to forgive them.” She shrugged. “I know how to hold a grudge and I guess that makes me kind of bitter.”

“Hm,” Said Pacifica, watching their imposters. “I do feel bad about all the things I’ve done,” she said quietly. “All those things I said to Dipper and Mabel. And to everyone else. Especially Candy and Grenda. I was very cruel to them but they’ve been nothing but nice to me.” She glanced at the pictures on her bedside table, one of her riding her pony, one of her with the twins and another of her with Candy, Grenda and Mabel. “They’ve treated me better than I deserve,” she admitted. “l know that. And I know sometimes I’m still rude and selfish and even mean. But I’m trying to be better.”

“Then you shouldn’t care what I think,” Wendy told her firmly. “The twins like and trust you so that should be all that matters. If you try to make everyone happy you’ll only make yourself miserable. Besides, you’re not the only one who’s been selfish,” she added quietly. “I’ve hurt my friends and used them just to get what I want. That includes Mabel and Dipper. There was one time when Stan and Mabel made a bet to see who’d make the most money. Mabel asked for my help and I just took advantage of her. Made her give me time off work and still pay me. Talk about selfish,” she grunted. “At least you were mean to people you didn’t like. I manipulated somebody I actually cared about. Then there was this other time when Dipper and I worked at the pool together. I knew he’d just taken the job to get a bit closer to me but I didn’t care, I just thought it would be fun to hang out with him. Then I got fired and didn’t give him a second thought even though he’d only applied for the job because of me.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that he still likes you after all this time?” Pacifica asked, flashing her an annoyed look.

“You’ve liked him just as long and you haven’t moved on yet,” Wendy countered.

“I - that’s different,” Pacifica muttered. “I actually have a chance with him. Unlike what he has with you. Isn’t that right?” She suddenly shot Wendy a challenging look, the redhead frowning at her as she tried to work out what it meant.

“Wait,” she said slowly as the answer dawned on her. “You - you think I like Dipper? Why would you even think that? I’m too old for him!”

“He doesn’t seem to think so,” Pacifica muttered. “And at first I wasn’t worried. Then I saw the way you looked at him.”

Wendy stared at her as if she had gone mad. “What the hell are you talking about?” she demanded, honestly bewildered. “He’s thirteen! When have I ever-?”

“In the woods!” Pacifica barked at her. “When we were saying goodbye! You said he was hot!”

“I don’t-” she began, then remembered a tall figure with a playful grin leaning close to her, their foreheads touching as he stared deep into her eyes and said something she’d heard a million times before that somehow made her feel very different.

“I-” Wendy shook her head and tried to regain her composure as Pacifica gritted her teeth at her reaction. “That’s - so what?” She yelled. “Yeah, I thought he was hot! So did you! Hell, so did Soos and Melody! He wasn’t our Dipper anyway! He was about thirty and married with kids! He wasn’t even from our future, he came from an entirely different universe! Our Dipper might grow up to be completely different! And even if he does grow up to be like that, who cares? He’s not like that now! I’m not interested! And I think plenty of guys are hot, doesn’t mean I’d date them! Hell, apparently my body thinks Poolcheck is hot and he’s a freak! You want to ask Dipper out, you go right ahead,” she growled. “I’m not stopping you.”

“What’s the point if he still likes you?” Pacifica grunted. “Fine, you don’t like him. Good. But he still likes you. So why don’t you talk to him, explain you’re not interested and-”

“No.”

They glared at each other in silence. “Why not?” Pacifica demanded when she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Because I’ve already told him.” Wendy looked down, remembering a battle with a creature of nightmares, a fight that almost took her life and a conversation afterwards that in many ways was even harder. “Last summer. I had to let him down easy. Most guys I turn down, I do it with a shrug. I couldn’t do that this time. Not to him. He was too important to me. I had to tell him I didn’t see him that way. And he accepted that, he wasn’t angry or bitter. He was just...Dipper. I know he was disappointed and hurt but he was also happy we were still friends.” She lifted her eyes to meet Pacifica’s. “I’m not going to put him through that again. I won’t embarrass him like that, not when I know he wishes he could move on too. So, yeah, I might not like or trust you, I might think he can do better. But Dipper felt that way about Robbie and I let him have it when he tried to come between us. So I’ll be damned if I’m going to come between him and someone else. You want to date him? Go ahead and ask him out. I’m not stopping you. Stop using me as an excuse when you’re just too scared to work up the courage.”

“I’m not scared!” Pacifica snapped.

“Yes, you are,” Wendy said. “There’s a boy you like and he might turn you down. That’s pretty scary. But you know what? That boy is Dipper. Maybe he’ll say yes. Maybe he won’t. But whatever happens, he’ll still have your back, he’ll still respect you and help you out. That’s a guy who’s worth taking that chance with. I’m honoured to be his friend. I think he can do better than you as a girlfriend. But I also think he deserves someone better than me as a friend.”

“I guess we both have to try and be better people,” Pacifica muttered, not sure if the older teen was trying to support or insult her.

“Yeah," Wendy sighed.  "I guess we do.”

They were silent again, not sure if there was even anything else to say, lost in their own thoughts. Then they heard a growing cry, Pacifica looking around in confusion as Wendy stuck a finger in her ghostly ear to see if it needed a clean before Mabel came flying through the wall.

“Stop fighting!” She screamed. “I’m here so - wait.” She stopped so suddenly it would have made her throw up if she still had an inner ear or stomach. “Why aren’t you two screaming at each other in a stereotypical love-triangle blowout?”

“Eh, been there done that,” Wendy said with a dismissive wave. “Got bored. Reached an understanding. Pretty cliché.”

“Oh,” said Mabel, disappointed that she had missed it all. “”Well that’s good, I guess. Anyway, no time to lose!” She stretched a fist in front of her, a determined expression on her face as she expertly zoomed around the room. “Let us fly! Ghost Mabel - away!”  She flew into the ceiling, Wendy giving a chuckle and Pacifica shaking her head before they followed her.

“So where are we going?” Pacifica asked as Mabel led them over the trees and back to the town.

“To the Dusk 2 Dawn!” Mabel declared.

“Woah!” Cried Wendy, halting suddenly, the girls quickly doing the same. “Okay, Mabel, I get you’re desperate and all but those two hate teens, remember? That includes all of us.”

“Well, yeah,” Mabel conceded reluctantly. “But what choice do we have? We can’t make anything float and me and Dipper are twins so the blood bond should be as close as possible between us, but I’ve been trying to talk to him for hours and there’s been no reaction from him. But those two have been ghosts for years and can levitate vending machines and turn people into hotdogs.  Maybe they can give us some lessons?”

“Uh, who are we talking about?” Pacifica asked.

“Ma and Pa Duskerton,” Wendy explained. “This married couple who died after some teens gave them heart attacks by playing rap music outside their store. Haunted the place ever since.”

“Yeah, we met them last year,” Mabel continued. “Dipper, me and all of Wendy's friends broke in one night and vandalised everything to have some fun. Then Ma and Pa got mad ‘cause they hate teens. Also because we broke into their store and vandalised everything to have some fun. Tortured Thompson, Tambry, Lee and Nate, possessed me, threatened to kill us all. It was a great night! Then Dipper got them to let us go after he-”

“Completed a ritual!” Wendy said loudly, throwing Mabel a look.

“Why do I get the feeling Mabel was going to say something else?” Pacifica asked, glancing between them.

“Look, that was a rough night and they only let us go after Dipper revealed he wasn’t a teenager,” Wendy pointed out. “But now we’re all teens so I doubt they’ll help us.”

“We’ve got to try, Wendy,” Mabel pleaded. “I’m out of ideas! Heck, I don’t even know if they’ll be able to see us - I mean, are we really ghosts or something else? This is our only option.”

“What about that ghost that attacked the manor?” Pacifica suggested, turning to Wendy.  “Wasn’t he your ancestor? Maybe if you call out to him he’ll hear you?”

Wendy frowned. “Didn’t he, like, move on or whatever? And how would I call him, just wander around the woods calling his name?”

“Great idea!” said Mabel, snapping her fingers. “You do that while we ask the Duskertons for help. I don’t think they’d want to help you anyway so you might as well try it while we talk to them.”

“Wait, I didn’t-” Wendy stopped herself, rubbing her eyes. “Okay, fine,” she grunted. “I’ll float over to the shop with you and while you two are inside I’ll wander around the back, calling his name. That way I can still come help if anything goes wrong.”

“What help could you give us? You don’t even have your axe,” Pacifica pointed out.

“Okay, maybe not,” Wendy relented.  “But I could, I don’t know, distract them or whatever. Be sarcastic and rude so they’d focus on me and give you two time to escape. I’m not going to just leave you there if things go wrong.”

“Thanks Wendy,” Mabel said appreciatively. “I know that one day you will make Dipper very happy.”

The other teens glared at her. “Did you just say that to tease us and try and lighten the mood?” Pacifica demanded.

“Yep!” She hesitated when their glares continued. “What? Touchy subject?”

Wendy rolled her eyes as Pacifica shook her head. “Let’s just go,” she muttered, floating past her, Pacifica following suit.

“Well I thought it was funny,” Mabel muttered as she followed them.

* * *

 

 

"Seems kind of creepy,” Pacifica said when they were outside the chain fence surrounding the abandoned convenience store. “Why did you want to go in there?”

“Wanted to break some rules and not deal with any adults giving us trouble for a night,” Wendy said. “The creep factor just added to the thrill.”

“Sounds kind of lame to me,” Pacifica said. “Wasn’t there anything else to keep you interested?”

“Not in this town,” Wendy sighed. “Stupid, boring Gravity Falls. At least - that’s what I thought. Turns out all the weird crap that goes on here went unnoticed for years ‘cause there was a secret society wiping our minds whenever something weird happened. Dipper and I’ve been going through their records and there’s some memories they took from me.  Turns out I fought a goblin when I was ten. Kicked his butt!” She grinned proudly. “Oh, Mabel - me and Dipper found some others when we were looking for my memories. You should join us sometime, it’s hilarious!”

Mabel gave a snort of disbelief. “That’s what you said about your movie nights. All you do is make bad movies even worse by pointing out how bad they are! I have no idea how you two can enjoy yourselves so much…”

Wendy shrugged. “Suit yourself but you don’t know what you’re missing.” She turned towards the trees behind them. “Right, I’m going to just hang out here, calling on great-whatever’s ghost. You two need me just scream or whatever.”

“Vandalism, bad movies and laughing at lost memories of people fighting goblins?” Pacifica asked as she and Mabel floated through the fence towards the store. “I honestly don’t know what Dipper sees in her. I mean, the hair’s nice and she’s not bad to look at-”

“That’s not it,” Mabel said as they reached the store. “Well, maybe part of it. But it’s more her attitude. She’s cool and funny. More importantly, she thinks Dipper’s funny. You ever heard his jokes? Hilarious they are not! But he can make Wendy laugh and she’s always been nice to him and that’s not something he’s used to. I guess it’s hard to understand.”

Pacifica hesitated, thinking back to a life of people doing whatever she wanted because she had the money to make them do it, until she met two siblings who didn’t care about her money, who taught her that there really was more to life than status and made her think that there was more to her too. “Maybe not,” she said quietly as they looked around the store.

“Hey, Mister and Misses Duskerton!” Mabel called, cupping her hands to her mouth, despite there being no point now that they were intangible. “Are you still here? It’s me, Mabel Pines! You possessed my body, remember? We need your help to stop someone else possessing my body! Our bodies!”

There was silence in the store, the battered and smashed machines and aisles unmoving as the teens waited. “You guys haven’t moved on or anything have you?” She asked the store. “If you have, why not come out and tell us? No? Come on, it’s me, Mabel Pines? Dipper’s sister? You remember him, the guy who did the - er,” She threw Pacifica a hesitant glance before she swallowed and continued, “The Lamby Lamby Dance,” she whispered, hoping it was at the perfect volume that Pacifica couldn’t hear but the ghostly couple somehow could.

“Lamby Lamby Dance?” Pacifica repeated, staring at Mabel in disbelief as she winced. “What are you-”

The rest of her question was drowned out as the lights flickered, an electric hum reverberating throughout the store as all of the appliances came to life, even those clearly torn from the wall. “Well, why didn’t you say so?” chuckled a friendly voice that seemed to come from everywhere before the two spirits of a kindly older couple appeared above them, holding each other.

“Why, I remember you!” Ma Duskerton said as the ghosts lowered themselves to just above ground level. “You’re that sweet girl who ate all our Smile Dip and started hallucinating! How's your brother?”

“Yeah, that was one weird trip,” Mabel chuckled as Pacifica stared. “I ate a giant puppy's paws and rode a dolphin with arms that turned into dolphins that shot rainbows as we travelled through time! And my brother’s fine - well, kinda. See, that’s why we’ve come here.”

“Oh dear, is he dead too?” Asked Ma, a hand to her mouth. “Passing on at such a young age - that can be so difficult! Why, your poor parents!”

“No, he’s not dead,” Mabel explained. “And neither are we - not really. See, there’s these three ladies who’ve taken over our bodies. We’re not sure how they managed it-”

“Actually, Mabel, I think we do,” said Pacifica.

She quickly explained what she and Wendy had overheard about the sorceress and how they believed she had acquired their blood, then they explained the rest of the story to the Duskertons, of how they had awoken with someone else in their bodies, unable to interact with the world in any way.

“So that’s why I thought about you,” Mabel explained to the couple. "We can’t even move some lipstick but you two could move everything in the store and even put people in cereals and video games. Is there any way you could teach us how to do that? All we’d need is to lift a pen so we can warn my brother or Grunkles! Please?”

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s not that simple, dearie,” Ma said as she and her husband shared a look and a chuckle. “For four different reasons. One, a ghost’s power is based on how long they’ve been dead. The older a ghost is, the more powerful they’re likely to be. Reasons two and three are their emotions and their location. They have to have very strong emotions or have very strong ties to a certain place to have any real power there.”

“But I’m very emotional!” Mabel complained. “And the Mystery Shack’s my home away from home! Shouldn’t that be enough?”

“Oh, it can’t be just any old emotions,” Pa said with a simple wave. “We’re talking about intense negative emotions; fear, anger, a burning desire for revenge, the kind of thing that haunts a living person in their life is what allows them to haunt someone after their death! It especially helps if those emotions are tied to how they died, just like we resented those teenage hooligans for years and then they caused our double heart attacks.”

“And as for your little shop being your second home…” Ma shrugged and gave a small laugh. “Well, that could count if you really love the place or have such a strong connection to it. But it normally takes years before your ectoplasm starts to seep into the building or the furniture. This store was our life’s work, there was barely a time when at least one of us wasn’t here to keep it running. That’s dedication. It also helps that nothing in the store’s been changed in all the years we’ve been gone, means that everything’s had years worth of ectoplasm flowing through it.”

“Ew!” said Pacifica, glad she was floating above the floor. “I guess that would explain the lumberjack ghost too,” she said to a deflated Mabel. “He helped build the Manor, his friends died helping him, my ancestor basically murdered him and he literally cursed my family with his dying breath. Ties to the place, negative emotions especially at death, and it took him a hundred years to get the power he needed to attack us. Okay,” she sighed, turning to the couple. “We’ve not been out of our bodies long enough, we don’t have the bad feelings and we’re not really connected to where we live. Got it. What’s the fourth reason?”

They couple shared a glance and then burst out laughing. “Well isn’t that obvious?” Pa asked as the girls looked confused. “No? The fourth reason is that you won’t need to worry about your bodies because you’re never leaving.” He snapped his fingers and a giant white hand shot from the floor, knocking both girls against the wall, the impact actually hurting them for once as the ectoplasm and the malice they were infused with giving them the ability to cause even spirits pain.

“Did you really think we’d just forget that it was a year ago that some twelve-year-old twins visited us?” Ma asked, her mouth and smile stretching as her eyes glowed red, her teeth sharpening as flames danced in her mouth. “Or that we didn’t hear about the Northwest’s big party for their little girl’s thirteenth? The flyers were everywhere, your father paid them to be put on every building in town, even ours!”

“Just another child who grew into another rude little teen,” sighed Pa, his body growing, horns protruding from his arms as he clenched his clawed fists. “No matter - we’ll be sure to make you pay. One by one all you teens will pay!”

* * *

 

“Oh, Archibald Corduroy!” Wendy called as she floated through and past the trees. “Great-great, er...couple-more-greats Grandad Corduroy? You out here? Yo, Archie!” She put her hands on her hips and shook her head, feeling stupid. What would Dipper do? Look up something in that journal he was making or call Ford, two options she didn’t have. Okay, so what would he do if he didn’t have them? Something clever. Or dorky. Or both. She frowned as she thought about that. Would he cast a spell? Was there a chant to summon ghosts? She sighed in frustration. She should have paid more attention to him when he went over stuff like this. It wasn’t as if he didn’t talk about it, she’d just let her eyes glass over once he got to the boring stuff. Fighting and outsmarting ghosts and monsters were fun stories to listen to, she just didn’t pay as much attention when it came to the science or the research. She’d much rather just skip to the fun stuff.

She found a stump, taking a seat an inch above it. How many times had she been there for the action but not much else? The bunker, the Blind Eye Society, even Weirdmageddon, it was always his plans and determination that started the adventures and usually led to their success. When it came to gathering the research she’d just left that to him, waiting for her part in the execution and hoped it would be exciting. Now they needed his brains, his knowledge of magic and just didn’t have it. It wasn’t as if he’d never told them. Once he got started it was all he could talk about. She’d just drift off, letting him talk and expecting him to be there if she ever needed the knowledge. But here she was, in need of his brains and unable to ask him anything. She ran her fingers through her hair and wished she had her pine tree hat. “I’m sorry, Dipper,” she said to the forest. “I should have listened to you more, man. I guess Mabel’s not the only one who took you for granted, huh?”

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the screams of the two teens from the store. She flew through the trees and the fence towards the cries, the walls of the building seeming to offer some resistance until she pushed through them to see the younger girls stuck to the wall and screaming as a large demonic figure approached them, a second figure cackling madly as flames surrounded her.

“Hey, Adam and Eve!” Wendy yelled at the monstrous couple. “Let my friend and Pacifica go or else I’ll show you just how disrespectful to the elderly I can be!”

Ma's neck turned to an extent that would have been fatal if she still had a pulse, her twisted face twisting even further when she saw the third teenager.  “Why you’re that little tramp who encouraged those children to break into our store and wreck it! We’ll make sure you finally clean this place up, even if we have to nail your soul to the floor!”

“Lady, if you saw the state of my room you wouldn’t want me to clean anything,” Wendy grunted. “Now back off!”

Ma hissed at her and spat a fireball that the lumberjill dodged with ease. “Ha! That all you got?” she challenged before a magazine stand slammed into her, knocking her to the floor with a grunt as she felt pain for the first time since she’d lost her body. She groaned in frustration as the magazine stand slammed into her again.  She put her back to the floor and tried to use her legs to push it off. Then she heard Mabel and Pacifica cry out again and she growled as red light encompassed her, pushing the magazine off with such force it shattered against the wall, an axe appearing in her hand and throwing it instinctively at the closest foe, hitting her in the arm.

“Ma!” Pa yelled as his wife cried out in pain, Mabel and Pacifica falling to the floor as he rushed towards his spouse, reverting back to an old man as he cradled her.

“Whoah, where’d that come from?” Wendy asked, staring at her now empty hand.

“The ghosts said negative emotions gave them powers,” Pacifica groaned as she helped Mabel into the air. “That includes anger. Guess your temper’s come in handy for once.”

“Be quiet you little harlot!” Pa cried, pointing an accusing finger at her as the wound on his wife’s arm sealed itself. “Flying around dressed like that! In my day girls didn’t run around revealing themselves so freely! You ought to be ashamed!”

“Harlot?” Pacifica growled, her eyes flashing yellow as a similarly coloured aura covered her body. “I was in my nightgown - I didn’t ask to be stuck wearing this! And I am sick and tired of people judging me for my body!” She lashed out and a giant yellow fist appeared in front of her, striking the ghost in the chest and pushing him back. “Every day!” She snapped, stepping forwards in the air and hitting him again. “Every day I get comments and jokes! At the arcade! At work! At school! I’m fourteen, damnit! I didn’t ask for this, it’s not my fault if tops stretch when I put them on! But I still get called out for it! I can’t even bend over without some scumbag getting excited! I don’t want this, alright?” She hit him again and again, the ghost gritting his sharpened teeth and bracing himself as her assault pushed him back. “And it’s not just the boys!” She snarled, the aura burning brighter. “It’s the girls too! They call me names! All the time! Behind my back! And now there’s someone out there in my body planning on doing who knows what with it, giving me an even worse reputation! I don’t deserve any of it! I haven’t even kissed a boy yet!”

“Woah, Pacifica, gotta work on your game there,” grinned Mabel. “I mean even Dipper’s kissed a boy so you’d better get a move on!”

“Wait, what?” asked Wendy, a flaming axe in each hand as she swiped at Ma, the woman hissing at her and blocking them with a wall of dark energy.

“SHUT UP, MABEL!” Pacifica screamed, launching herself at Pa, becoming a tornado of yellow fire.

Ma and Pa snarled but could barely defend themselves from the attacks as the two teens released their fury on them. But the couple had decades more bitterness saved up and this was their turf, every inch of it resonating with their ectoplasm. They raised the aisles and everything else in the store and launched it at the teens until all three of them were pinned to the floor, their assailants standing over them with wicked glee.

“Now we’ll teach you young whippersnappers some real respect!” Pa snarled as Ma raised every sharp item in the store, a forest of makeshift knives and daggers pointed at the struggling trio. “You honestly think we’d help you? Against fellow senior citizens?”

They both laughed, Pa stepping on the girls and adding even more pressure to their writhing forms.

“You three probably deserved what they’ve done to you,” Ma laughed. “You teenagers are everything that’s wrong with the world, so rude and selfish and disrespectful! Heck, they’d probably be an improvement - I’m sure your families will actually learn to love them more than little brats like you!”

Mabel gritted her teeth as the pressure intensified on her body, hearing her friend’s grunts and groans, the laughter of the two ghosts mocking her. The air crackled, the floor tiles beneath her breaking as she closed her eyes. “That. Is. ENOUGH!” she cried, her eyes flying open to reveal pure, pupiless white, the energy coming off her so strong it sent every item in the store, her friends and the Duskertons flying to the walls, every window shattering.

“I AM TIRED OF THE WORLD INSULTING ME FOR MY AGE!” Mabel roared, her voice distorted and a bright white flame encompassing her as she pointed a finger at the dead couple. “YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US JUST BECAUSE WE'RE YOUNG? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE KIDDING?” she sneered, the Duskertons staring at her in horror as wave after wave of raw energy hit the store. “I’VE READ THE HISTORY BOOKS, I WATCH T.V, THE WORLD’S BEEN A DARK AND CRUEL PLACE SINCE FOR AS LONG AS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN AROUND! WE MAY BE LAZY AND ANGRY AND EMOTIONAL BUT SO ARE YOU! YOU RUN THE WORLD, NOT US!  SO STOP USING US AS A SCAPEGOAT FOR HUMANITY’S FAILINGS!”

Ma and Pa struggled to push themselves from the wall, barely able to even look at the teen, her aura was so bright. “How are you so powerful?” Pa gasped, his wife stretching for his hand.

“YOU SAID WE GAIN POWER FROM NEGATIVE EMOTIONS?” She asked, a maniacal tint to her voice. “WELL I’VE GOT PLENTY! WHAT, YOU RESENT TEENAGERS FOR BEING RUDE AND KILLING YOU? I’M RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF FIFTEEN PEOPLE! I COST A MAN HIS SON! AN ENTIRE CULT WILL BURN HOSPITALS AND KILL CHILDREN ALL BECAUSE OF MY MISTAKE!” she screamed, Wendy and Pacifica sharing a horrified glance as the waves of energy increased in speed and power. “MY EVERY MOMENT IS FILLED WITH REGRET! EVERY SMILE OR LAUGH IS ONE THAT I’VE STOLEN FROM THE PEOPLE I’VE KILLED! YOU THINK YOU KNOW HATE? YOUR HATRED FOR TEENS CAN’T COMPARE TO WHAT I FEEL WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR EVERY MORNING!” She clenched her teeth and screamed, this time the walls themselves cracking from the intensity of her blast. “MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT,” She told the terrified ghosts. “MAYBE THE WOMAN IN MY BODY WOULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT! I DOUBT SHE’D BE CAPABLE OF HURTING HALF THE PEOPLE I HAVE! BUT YOU’RE WRONG ABOUT HER TAKING BETTER CARE OF MY FAMILY! SHE KICKED MY PIG! SHE HURT MY BROTHER!” The flames faltered as the rage on her face flickered, fear and regret taking their place. “SHE HURT HIM. AND - AND I CAN’T LET HIM GET HURT BECAUSE OF ME. NOT - not him. Not anymore.”

The wave of energy lessened and the pressure lifted against them as the thirteen-year-old girl descended, the burning white around her fading. “I’ve hurt so many people,” she sobbed, her tears floating away and vanishing from sight. “But I can’t hurt him. Not after everything he’s done! He - he gave up his lifeguard job for me! He helped me with that stupid play! All I’ve done is hurt him and I can't keep doing it! I pushed him and Wendy into the room with the shapeshifter! I didn’t notice when Bill took over his body! He spent days alone in Weirdmageddon looking for me! He’s done so much for us, he helped Pacifica even when he hated her, just because I wanted to go to that party!” Mabel cried, wiping at her flow of tears desperately as Pacifica slowly pushed herself away from the wall. “He even did that stupid dance to save us from you, even though it was in front of the girl he liked after she’d just called him a buzzkill!” she gasped, Wendy hanging her head behind her. “And now he’s going to blame himself! I know it! There’s someone else in my body and when she leaves he’s going to think it’s his fault she got away! Because that’s what he does! If something goes wrong he always blames himself because he doesn’t know how good he is and - and -” She broke down, her wails echoing against the ectoplasm walls before a gentle hand touched her head.

“Come on, Mabel,” Pacifica said softly. “Let’s go to the Shack. We - we’ll have a sleepover. We’ll try to get through to Dipper again. The Shack’s got the biggest connection to you so we’ll keep trying. Even if we can’t get through to him in time we’ll keep trying. You won’t give up on him and Dipper would never give up on you. Because he loves you, Mabel, just like Wendy and I do. And you deserve that love, even if you don’t think you do.”

The Duskertons watched as the blonde girl slowly took her friend by the hand and wiped at her own eyes as she guided her to the doorway. They shared a glance before Pa stepped forward, stopping when Wendy brandished an axe at his throat.

“Don’t you dare,” She hissed, baring her teeth. “Don’t you dare say a thing to her. She came to you for help and you treat her like that? You two make me sick!” She shook her head in disgust, turning away from them. “When I get my body back I’m going to burn this place to the ground,” she muttered, phasing through the door with no effort.

The trio was almost at the fence when they heard a voice call out to them. They turned, Wendy and Pacifica glaring at the couple as they hovered nearby, holding each other anxiously, Mabel not even lifting her head from the crook of her arm.

“We’re sorry!” Pa said, desperation and regret in their eyes. “We - we took it too far. We were just so angry, the bitterness, it eats you up, it gets worse as you’re dead for longer. We - we just didn’t realise how far it’s gone.”

“We were wrong to say all those terrible things,” Ma nodded, clutching her husband. “And all those things we did - we - we’re ashamed. You came to us for help and we acted like horrid ruffians! We were even worse than those wretched teens who got us killed!”

“We can’t really help you,” Pa said with sorrow, barely able to look at the still weeping Mabel. “I wish we could but we can’t. But those emotions in there - what you did - I think it could take you much sooner than most to make your presence known. Perhaps even a week instead of years. I know that doesn’t help,” He added as Mabel raised her teary eyes towards him, “but that’s much better than most. And what you did in there - that shows just how much you love your brother. I know this might not seem like anything but we’ve been married for longer than we were alive. If we know anything, it’s love. And you’ve got plenty of it.”

Ma shrugged and gave a sad smile. “You don’t carry around that much regret if it wasn't something you cared for strongly,” she said.

Mabel wiped at her eyes and blew her nose on the bottom of her floppy disk t-shirt, reasoning it was a phantom version so no one would care. “Thank you,” she said, giving them a small smile as they sighed in relief. “I know how important it is to be forgiven,” she said as Pacifica and Wendy shared looks of surprise. “So I forgive you. You’ve been angry for a long time and I need to learn to let go if I ever hope to be forgiven for what I’ve done.”

“More than you deserve,” Wendy muttered, Pacifica nodding in agreement as the ghosts flinched.

The ghosts looked at each other, an unspoken conversation seeming to take place in the moments it lasted, the kind of look only possible after having a deep bond with someone for years. “Maybe,” Pa said slowly, hesitating until his wife gave him a reassuring nod. “Maybe...it's time we let go too.”

“Wh-what do you mean,” Mabel asked, the three girls frowning at the couple.

“Of our hate,” Ma explained. “Our bond to this place. If we’ve started to act like this, maybe it’s time we finally moved on.”

“Wait, it’s - it’s that easy?” Wendy asked, flummoxed. “You can just decide to stop being ghosts?”

“Well no, it’s not quite that simple,” Ma said with a sad smile. “Most ghosts are tied to the living because of a certain place or event or person. And too often the negative emotions that fuel us can also corrupt us. You hardly ever hear of happy or pleasant ghosts, do you?”

“But, if a ghost managed to fulfil their mission or let go of their fear or hate then they can move on,” Pa continued. “It’s - it’s not as easy as it sounds. Some ghosts seem to manage it easier than others. Some simply fade away on their own. Starting and ending your time as a ghost is just as mysterious to us as it is to you.”

“Why is it that some people become ghosts while others don’t?” Ma said. “Why are some more powerful than others, why do certain places seem to attract us, what happens when we do finally move on?”

“Wait, you mean you don’t even know if there’s an afterlife?” Pacifica asked.

Pa shrugged. “There are ghosts of all faiths and none. Some were bad people, some were good people. Some ghosts see this as our reward or punishment, proof there is an afterlife. But if we’re being truly honest we don’t know what comes next any more than the living. It could be wonderful. Or it could be terrible. Heck, it could be nothing at all.”

"But whatever it is, we’ll face it together,” Ma said, cupping his cheek. “And that sounds pretty darn good to me. As long as I’m with you.”

“Yes,” Pa said, stroking his wife’s hair gently. “As long as I’m with you.”

Their lips touched and they glowed as they kissed, their bodies becoming a white silhouette in the night, brighter than any star until their forms dispersed, becoming shining white lights that twinkled and vanished as the teens watched, somehow knowing they would never see them again.

“That - that was beautiful,” Mabel whispered softly, watching the spot where the couple had said their last goodbye, as close in death as they had been in life.

“Eh, I guess,” Wendy grunted. “Still doesn’t make up for how they treated you. Takes more than a sappy ending to make me forgive someone for messing with my friends.”

“I agree with Wendy for once,” Pacifica said.  She hesitated, unsure if her next question was one she really wanted answered.  "Mabel? Do you...really hate yourself?"

Mabel looked at the ground, unable to look either of her friends in the eyes.  "Sometimes," she said softly. "When I think of what's happened. All those people.  Sometimes it's all I can do to get out of bed. And sometimes I cry myself to sleep. I try not to - I don't want Dipper to know.  He's already worried. Same with my Grunkles. Passuum said I'd be like this, that even when I'm older this could still haunt me and there would be bad days but my family and friends would be there to help me.  Just like I'd do with them if it were the other way round. But - but I'm trying to do better," she told them. "To be less selfish. On doing more good and then focusing on that instead of the bad. To forgive people since It'll make it easier to forgive myself one day.  Not that I deserve it," she muttered bitterly. "You won't tell Dipper?" She pleaded suddenly, before they could even respond to her previous comment. "He - he's already worried. I keep trying not to let him see me upset, I don't want to get in the way of his summer. Please?"

"Of course not, Mabel," Pacifica said softly.  "This will stay just between us."

"Yeah, this is a talk between girls," Wendy said.  "No testosterone allowed in this conversation."

"Not that anyone's accused Dipper of having much of that," Pacifica grunted, surprised when Wendy laughed.

“Wow, we really are in a bad state if you two are agreeing,” Mabel grinned, her friends smiling at seeing her relax enough to make a joke. “Still want to do that sleepover? We can play Truth or Dare or Don’t.”

“Sure, why not?” Pacifica said with a shrug as Wendy nodded. “But I doubt there’s any exciting dares we can do if we can’t touch anything and there’s no one to see us.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Mabel grinned. “I mean, I could get one of you to bestow a ghostly kiss on Dipper. Even if he can’t feel it, the teasing rights would be worth it!”

“Yeah, I’m sticking with truth,” Wendy said firmly as they casually floated to the tourist trap, Pacifica silently committing herself to  dare .


	6. Chapter 6

Mabel gave a loud groan that would have awoken the pig lying next to her with a start if he could still hear her.  “I am so bored! I’d even play Dipper’s stupid dungeon homework game! I had no idea there were so many hours in the night,” she muttered.  “I thought an all night sleepover would be fun. Boy was I wrong.”

“I think it could be fun,” Pacifica said, floating on her back with her arms behind her head.  “We’re just not in the right condition to enjoy it. We can’t eat or interact with anything, we ran out of dares and there’s nothing to get the adrenaline pumping, you know?”  

It was true, even Mabel had to admit that there were only so many dares you could do when you couldn’t touch anything and no one could see you, which ruined the point of Truth or Dare or Don’t.  In the end they had resorted to just talking throughout the night with the promise that they not need to answer any questions if they chose not to, but be honest when they did.  

Not that there was much to tell.  Wendy’s long list of boyfriends usually hadn’t lasted long enough for there to be any juicy details to reveal to the other girls and she had been adamant that if there were she probably wouldn’t tell them anyway.  Robbie was the person she’d dated the longest and been the closest with but as he was now dating Tambry, she wouldn’t discuss the details of their time together because Tambry wouldn’t approve.  

Pacifica’s dating experience had been self admittedly boring, all pretentious rich boys that her parents had arranged for her to date and all of whom she believed to be beneath her, no matter how handsome they were.  She did admit that with her new outlook on life she’d probably find one or two of them more interesting but doubted they’d even give her the time of day considering how she had treated them before.

Mabel had proudly boasted of her first love, Mermando, reminiscing about the day she first met him at the pool, his stubble, his accent, telling them in great detail about the way his stubbles tickled her as she felt his fishy lips press against hers.  As the girls grimaced she had also chuckled about how Dipper had technically kissed her first boyfriend before she had. But she had then admitted that that was actually pretty selfless of him to give up his job for her happiness, and throughout the night didn't tease her brother as much as she would have the previous summer and had been quick to point out his admirable traits even after she had joked about him.

But there was only so many questions three people could ask in a night, especially when two of those three weren’t exactly friends.  Wendy and Pacifica had been civil with each other, more than Mabel had expected. She hadn’t pressed them for more, despite her natural urge to pry, deciding that things were fragile enough.  But the night had for the most part been fun. She’d probably look back on some of their jokes and stories fondly once they were back in their bodies. She just hoped she wouldn’t have to wait too long.

“Sun’s getting higher,” Wendy said, sitting cross-legged in the rafters, sticking her head through the roof, surprised to find that she could watch it as long as she wanted now that there were no retinas to burn.  Funny how she had to turn her eyes away from Mabel when the girl had been glowing earlier but she could look directly at a star and feel nothing. But that was something she’d leave to Dipper and Ford if she got a chance to tell them.  “We’d better get going. Don’t want to lose track of our bodies.”

“You girls take care,” Mabel waved at them as they flew through the walls towards Pacifica’s home.  “We’ll catch up when our bodies meet again!” After she watched them fly for a distance she noticed a familiar vehicle approaching.  She watched her Grunkle get out of his car and she returned to the room, watching her own body and wishing she could invade her dreams or at least make her sleep restless.  But they’d tried that last night to no avail.

The door opened silently thanks to Soos’ work but the floorboards still creaked since he thought that added character to the house.  Stan crept into the room, stepping over the pig and gently shook his niece’s shoulders. “Mabel,” he said quietly. "Mabel, wake up.”

“Mm-wha?” Marcey mumbled, her eyes fluttering.

“Here, I brought you some Mabel Juice to help,” he said, offering her a shot of the potent concoction.  “Help fight that crash of yours and give you some zest.”

“Aw, thanks, Stan,” Mabel beamed.  “You big, grumpy softy.”

Marcey downed the offered drink in one gulp and almost immediately felt the effects, her brain conflicted by the unnatural taste, the sudden increased heart rate and the apparent relief her body seemed to feel at being reunited with the strange liquid.

“Come on,” Stan urged her, collecting a bag at the foot of her bed; clothes that Dipper had prepared for her appointment last night when she was still asleep.  “You can get dressed in the car. The Prof was okay with you missing your last therapy appointment but it ain’t decent to be late twice. The woman takes care of a whole town, least people can do is try to be punctual.”

Marcey blinked at his back in alarm as the word ‘therapy’ rang in her ears.  “Uh, actually I’m still not feeling well-” she began before Stan cut her off.

“No way out of it,” he said, picking her up and walking out of the room, the teenager under one arm, her bag of clothes under the other.  “Besides, you’ll have to be more convincing than that,” he said, rolling his eyes as he closed the door with his foot and headed downstairs.  “I mean, that’s the best you could do? No droopy blink or sluggish words? You’ll have to try harder to kid this old kidder.”

Marcey was uncharacteristically silent as the large, gruff man threw her into the back of his car and ordered her to get dressed.  It had taken her a while to recall that she had seen his face when he had come to collect her after she had collapsed at the Mall.  He looked and sounded different from what she could remember but she put that down to the crash. The sorceress had mentioned in her email that the twins had been staying with their father’s uncle the previous summer when he had been the owner of the squalid hovel she was currently having to use.  This must be him. The email had also mentioned that this great-uncle was apparently a scientist with several PhDs before he had suddenly turned his research station into a tourist trap and took to a life of crime. Looking at the man in front of her she could see the conman aspect but couldn’t see him as a scientist of any sort.  Then again, she’d won several legal cases and had even created her own law firm but had braces and shoes that lit up when she walked so she couldn’t afford to judge a book by its cover.

Mabel flew with them as they drove towards town, trying to keep herself within the car in case there was any conversation.  It was much more difficult than she thought it would be. She had to keep an eye on the road and try to predict when the car would slow or accelerate or turn.  If she didn’t, she would just end up going through a window. She glanced at Stan and wondered how people could do so many things in a car while paying attention to the road and having conversations at the same time.

Stan glanced in the rear-view mirror, unknowingly looking through the real Mabel as he watched the imposter.  “You okay there, Pumpkin? I know you don’t really look forward to these talk but you seem pretty nervous.”

“Uh, I - I guess I’m just not really feeling it today,” Marcey said, a large part of her wanting to make up an excuse but hesitant in case the conman also knew about magic and detected there was something off.  She cursed the sorceress, feeling that psychiatry lessons would have been a vital piece of information and definitely should have been mentioned in the email. What were they even about? The girl seemed very strange judging by the way people seemed to be expecting her to act.  Did she really have a medical condition? Or was it something more? Was all this odd behaviour a symptom of some event in the past? A call for help? She had no idea. And she had even less idea of how she could find it out without raising suspicions. Hell, psychiatrists seemed all the rage these days, some people even had them for their bloody pets!  Maybe her parents just got her one because why the hell not?

She pulled out her phone and sent a series of texts.

“Listen, kiddo,” Stan said slowly, unsure how to begin the conversation.  “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you yesterday. But then you forgot your sugar count and conked out so I didn’t get a chance.  I wanted to talk to you about Dipper.”

“Okay,” said Marcey, listening cautiously as she held her phone, hoping a response would come soon.  

“Well, it was about what you said to him yesterday,” Stan continued, the real Mabel watching him carefully.  “Look, sweetie, I get that you’re going through stuff. I mean, I don’t get exactly what you’re going through, but I get it’s gotta hurt.  But your brother’s been there by your side throughout it all. And he deserves to be treated better than that. I mean, all he’s done for you - not all brothers are like that.  I mean, sure, plenty of people have a brother. Some people even have a few. But he’s the only one you’ve got and yours is really special. And I just wanted to make sure you know that.”  He looked in the mirror again and saw the expression on her face, thoughtful and considering. He frowned as he watched the expressions shift slightly, becoming a mixture of confusion and slight annoyance where he had expected regret and guilt, unaware that the expression he had been expecting was beside him the whole time.

“I know that, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel whispered.  “I just forget sometimes. And I shouldn’t. But I’m glad you and Ford will always be there to remind me.”

“So are you gonna apologise to your brother or what?” Stan asked, growing frustrated at the lack of the answer.

“I already did,” Marcey said, looking his reflection in the eye.  “Last night. We had a talk. I said I needed time alone but I’d let him in when I was ready.  He forgave me. We hugged.”

“Oh,” said Stan, shifting uncomfortably as he detected an underlying hostility from her, despite her mournful look and tone.  “Well, good,” Stan said, wondering if he’d imagined it. “As long as you know that and don’t do it too often. I mean, he’s still Dipper so there’s still plenty to tease him about!”  He grinned, but saw a smirk that was more calculated than natural and they were silent for the rest of the journey, Marcey looking out the window and taking note of the street names.   

 

* * *

****

“What about McGucket?” Wendy suggested, as she and Pacifica followed Pam and Whitney through the town.  “Doesn’t he have ghost finding technology? Maybe we can fly up there and one of his machines could let him know we’re there?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Pacifica sighed.  “Those machines are all about exterminating the ghosts that keep haunting the manor.  I wouldn’t like to risk it. But maybe when they find out what happened to us he can build a new one?  One that he can bring to the Mystery Shack and use to talk to us?”

“Let’s hope so. ” Wendy looked down at the car the two women had ‘borrowed’ from the Northwest’s garage after they had received a mysterious text that morning, Whitney at the wheel.  “Wonder where they’re going?”

“Maybe they want to spend the rest of my money,” Pacifica muttered.  

The spirits had tried to follow but had discovered that the car could easily outrun them, so they had been forced to rise higher into the air to keep the vehicle in sight.  It wasn’t too difficult since they seemed uncertain of where they were going, often circling back and once it seemed to come to a complete stop before it continued again with greater speed and fewer reversals, leading them to believe they had finally stopped to ask for directions.

Eventually the car slowed for long enough that they decided the women must have found the right street but were now searching for the right house.  They floated down to the street and looked around.

“Oh, no,” Wendy breathed when she saw the house the car was crawling towards.

“Hey, that’s Professor Passuum’s house,” Pacifica said, nodding towards it.  “That must be it! Mabel - I mean Marcey’s got an appointment so she must have texted Whitney to steal our car and come help her.”  She paused when she heard a sound and turned to see Wendy, clutching her head as she watched the car stop outside.

“Please don’t go, please don’t go, please please PLEASE don’t go,” she kept muttering as she watched them.

“Hey, you okay?” Pacifica asked, worried by her expression.  She’d never seen the older teen so anxious before and from the way Mabel and Dipper described her as being so cool under pressure, this seemed very out of character for her.

“Please don’t go, please don’t - oh God,” Wendy groaned as the women got out of the car, Pamela taking the lead as they walked up and knocked on the door.

There was silence for a while until a woman with dark hair opened the door, turning her wheelchair as she spoke to the person she thought was her teenage client.

Mabel put her head through the door and looked at the people waiting outside.  “Oh no!” she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as she saw Wendy’s body and spirit amongst the group.

“Mabel, I understand that this is an emergency, but I’m still - Pacifica?”  The woman in the wheel stopped talking when she saw the blonde teenager at her door instead of either of her patient’s uncles.  “What are you doing here? Did Stan bring you?” She peered over the teenager’s shoulders and when she saw the redheaded teenager standing at the foot of her ramp her eyes bulged out so far they almost knocked the spectacles off her face.

“Uh, hi, er, Professor,” Pamela began, faltering as she saw the strange reaction.  “We’ve just came to pick up Mar- I mean, Mabel so that…” She trailed off as the woman pushed both her and Marcey firmly to the side of the doorway before she picked up a large, heavy book from a nearby table and reversed her wheelchair back into the house.

Pamela, Whitney and Marcey exchanged confused looks before they heard an almighty yell and the woman in the wheelchair came charging out of her house and down the ramp, tackling Whitney with such force they were both sent flying.  Whitney barely had time to even take in the dark blur charging towards her, too fast for even Wendy Corduroy’s impressive reflexes to dodge successfully. She cried out as her head and back connected with the path, closing her eyes against the pain.  When she opened them again it was to see the now wheelchair-less woman sitting astride her and raising the heavy book above her head. She barely even had time to lift her arms over her face before the book connected with a surprising amount of strength behind it.

“I told you never to come here!” Professor Passuum screamed, raising the book and hitting her again.

“Oh my God!” Pacifica yelled as Mabel and Wendy winced.

Pamela and Marcey stood frozen to the spot, staring as their friend was assaulted, too shocked to truly comprehend the situation.  Then Whitney released a terrified yelp and they shook their heads clear and rushed to her aid, each grabbing at the book and somehow managing to pry it from her shockingly strong grasp.

The woman let out a piercing shriek of frustration at having her makeshift weapon removed before she reached into her pocket and drew a taser, taking it in both hands and raising it like a dagger, the three women grabbing at her arms and barely holding her back as the voltage arced on the end of the weapon.  The woman started screaming, as if she was beyond words, her hair clinging to her face in thin strands like trails of dark blood as her eyes promised pain.

Whitney let out a terrified scream and reached for the book that had fallen to the side, taking it and striking the woman on the temple with a heavy blow.

“Oh my God!” Whitney screamed as the woman’s eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped on top of her.  “We just killed a cripple!”

“What do you mean ‘we’!?”

“Shut up, Marcey, can’t you ever stop being such a goddamn lawyer?”

“She’s not dead!” Pamela gasped, putting a finger to the woman’s neck and the women and spirits all sighed with relief.

“What is wrong with this town?” Pamela demanded as she dragged the unconscious figure off her friend.  “The guy who gave us directions referred to his woodpecker as his wife! I don’t think he was joking!”

“I have no idea but when I get my things, we are out of here - no more delays!” Marcey declared, lifting Passuum from under the shoulders.  “Quick, one of you help me and the other get that chair! We’ll make sure she's okay, tie her up and leave.”

The spirits watched as the woman and chair were carried to the house.  Pacifica glanced at Mabel and Wendy and saw that, while still understandably disturbed, they did not seem quite as shocked as she was.  “What,” she demanded. “The hell. Was that?”  
Mabel and Wendy exchanged awkward glances.

“Professor Passuum doesn’t like Wendy,” Mabel explained lamely.

“That was way more than not liking someone!” Pacifica snapped.  “Hell, even when you were my worst enemy, the worst I did was throw darts at your picture and call you names!  I never just went mental and tried to fry your face!” She turned to Wendy, the crestfallen teen watching the unconscious therapist with regret.  “What could you possibly have done to make that poor woman hate you so much?”

Wendy gave a miserable sigh.  “Okay, you remember how Mendez arrived a few weeks before the Professor?  Well, that’s because it’s way easier for a cop to just move towns than it is for a Professor of psychology and Passuum didn’t want a big deal made about it, she thought it would be easier on the townsfolk if she settled in slowly.  So the only people who really knew about it at first were McGucket, Mayor Cutebiker and my Dad since he built her house. Dad didn’t even know what she was really here for, just said he was building a house for some smart professor lady.  Anyway, I was super bored and angry at the time; the twins were gone, no one wanted to talk about Weirdmageddon, Blubs and Durland kept tasing me, Mendez was starting to come up with those stupid punishments of hers, I was just getting sick and tired of it and needed an outlet.  So...so I decided I’d play a prank on this pretentious rich lady who suddenly moved in after the town went to hell.”

Wendy winced as the memories came flooding back.  “I - found this stupid ghoul mask. The town was getting rid of all the leftover Summerween stuff since it reminded them too much of what had happened.  People were just dumping costumes and decorations to get rid of the memories. But I saw this one that was really well done, like maggot infested flesh and stuff.  Really good detail. I thought it would be a shame to let that go to waste, especially since people weren’t as scared as zombies sine Robbie’s family were more than happy to deal with them when they popped up.  So I took it home, figuring I could give it to one of my brothers for their birthday or something, save me a few bucks. But instead I decided I’d use it to spook the rich lady who was moving in.”

“Why would you do that to someone who went through-"

“I didn’t know she’d been through Weirdmageddon!” Wendy threw her arms in the air in frustration.  “I thought she was just another stuck up rich person! The only rich people I’d ever met were you, your family and those just as stuck up people you invited to your parties!  I thought nice rich people were a lie made up by other rich people to make themselves feel better! That’s why I wanted to play the prank! I thought I’d be taking out my issues on someone who deserved it!”

Pacifica watched as Wendy shook her head, avoiding even looking at the girls as she explained her feelings.  Mabel was hovering awkwardly to the side, her expression a mixture of emotions that led Pacifica to suspect she’d heard the story before.  “What did you do?” Pacifica asked, trying to make the question as gentle as she could.

Wendy bit her lip nervously.  “Look, I didn’t mean for it to go so far.  Dipper told me Ford had invented magnet guns and that you could make them shoot out an EMP that could turn off the electricity in a house for a while.  I thought I could use that to switch off the lights and hang by the window to give her a scare. I didn’t see her downstairs so I used the EMP.  I figured she’d have to come downstairs to see what was going on and then I’d jump out at a window as she walked past.  But I never saw her. I kept switching the power on and off but nothing. Eventually, I got bored and gave up.”

Wendy and Mabel were silent now, Wendy unable to look at either of them as Mabel moved closer to her and rubbed her back to try and comfort her.  “Um, okay?” said Pacifica, wondering what the big deal was. “Switched off her power. What, was it the season finale of her favourite show or something?”

“No,” Wendy sighed.  “I’d - she was on her stair lift when I hit the EMP.  It fried the thing so it didn’t come back on with the rest of the power.”  Wendy hung her head. “She was stuck on it for three days.”

“Oh my God!” cried Pacifica.  “That’s - what the hell, Wendy!?”

“I know!” Wendy wailed as Mabel shook her head sadly.  “I never even knew she was in a wheelchair!”

“She has a ramp!” Pacifica yelled, pointing to it.  “Didn’t your dad tell you about her?”

“I thought she was just lazy!” Wendy yelled back, her voice tinged with guilt.  “I didn’t think! And Dad doesn’t care about stuff like that! All he’ll say is whether he thinks his clients are decent or not!  She could be in an iron lung and he wouldn’t care as long as she paid on time and didn’t insult him!” She groaned and dropped to her knees, clutching her head in dismay.  “Three days in her own filth before people came to check on her! Can you even imagine? She’d got Dad to make the whole house sound-proof, said it was added privacy for her clients.  You could have an orchestra in there and no one would hear a thing. Screamed her head off for nothing.  

“Right, well, I guess that explains that little outburst of hers,” Pacifica said, seeing the attack in a whole new light.

“As soon as Dad found out about it he realised it was me and dragged me over to her,” Wendy muttered, staring at the ground.  “She’d called Blubs and the Mayor just to make it official that I never go near her again. If we’re ever in the same building I’ve to leave straight away.  No exceptions.”

“I hope you apologised at least,” Pacifica muttered.

Wendy looked up to glare at her.  “Do you really think I’m that bad?” She demanded.  “Of course I apologised! And I don’t apologise for nearly enough!  Even if it did just make things worse,” she added, putting her face in her hands and leaning backwards until she was floating on her back.

“How could it make things worse?”

“Well,” Mabel began hesitantly, patting Wendy’s head in a way she hoped was comforting.  “When Wendy did apologise for the whole thing she may have unintentionally offended the Professor by saying that she wouldn’t have done it if she’d known she was in a wheelchair.  And then Professor Passuum, who was already a bit understandably upset, said ‘Oh, so if I wasn't in a wheelchair then it would be okay?’ And then Wendy said yes, and suddenly the Professor was like ‘Oh, so what, we’re not normally worthy of your time?’  And then Wendy said ‘Um-’ And then the Professor said, ‘So I’m not even worth being pranked because of my disability, is that it?’ and then Wendy tried to correct her but the Professor didn’t like that and kinda tried to break her face.”

“Gave me a black eye,” Wendy’s voice said behind her hands.  “She’s freaking strong for such a skinny lady. Dad had to pull her off me.  So yeah, no therapy lessons for me. Ever. Mayor tried to calm her down but the best he could do was not have me thrown in jail.”  She sat upright and scratched her head awkwardly. “Look, I know I don’t feel as bad about things as I should but I honestly feel horrible about this one.  I mean, this is easily one of the top five worst things I’ve ever done.”

“Top five?” Pacifica repeated incredulously.  “You trapped a wheelchair bound woman in her stair lift for three days!  Even if it’s an accident that should be number one! What else have you done if that’s not immediately at the top?”

“I-” Wendy hesitated, Mabel glancing away guiltily.  “I - I need to be a better person, okay? You of all people should know how hard that can be, alright?”

Pacifica opened her mouth but couldn’t think of a good argument to that.  Maybe she’d never done something quite that bad, but she’d done plenty of terrible things on purpose.  “Yeah, okay,” she managed eventually.

The three of them were silent again, each thinking back on their own sins and the long journey it would be for all of them to make up for their crimes.  Then the door opened and the three identity thieves dashed out of the house towards the car, Mabel flying through them to see what exactly they had done with the Professor.

“Okay, our bags and supplies are in the trunk.  Nothing else after we get your bags?” Whitney was asking, a bag of peas held against her face.  “This town is full of nut jobs and freaks and I can’t wait to get out of here!”

“Yes, we're almost free,” Macey nodded, opening the doors.  “Drive us back to that shack. I’ll get the rest of the stuff we bought yesterday.  There’s also some weird drink that should hold off my crashes until I get the little witch to fix my body.  After that we’ll find somewhere to lay low until that stupid girl comes back from her holiday.  Sound good?”

“Sounds magnificent,” Pamela said, holding the peas against Whitney’s face as they drove away.

“It’s okay,” Mabel said, coming back through the door.  “They bound her hands and put her on the sofa.”

“Good,” said Pacifica, rising as they flew to the Shack.  “Come on! Maybe they’ll mention which direction they’re going and we can pass that to the others!”

 

* * *

****

Marcey opened the door of the Mystery Shack and peeked inside.  “Okay,” she whispered to her friends. “I think the stuff’s in the fridge.  The bags are upstairs.”

They carefully made their way to the kitchen.  Marcey had just taken the jug of Mabel Juice out of the fridge when Dipper entered, surprised to see his sister and even more surprised to see Pacifica and Wendy with her and without any tension in the air.

“Mabel?” he asked, glancing between them all.  “What are you doing back so soon? And uh, with Wendy and - woah!  What happened to you?” He asked, moving to get a closer look at Whitney’s bruised face.  “Are you okay?”

 “Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” Whitney said, trying to dismiss her bruises to avoid his attention.  “I just, uh, got in a bit of a scuffle. It’s not important.”

Dipper paused, watching her carefully.  “Was it a goblin?” he asked quietly.

Whitney stared at him, wondering if he was being serious before she saw Marcey give the slightest of nods out of the corner of her eye.  “Uh, yes, it was a goblin,” she said, wondering just how common stuff like this was.

Dipper nodded briefly as if that made everything clear.  Well, almost everything. “Okay, goblin fight. Got it. But why are you back?” he asked Marcey.  “You should be at the Professor’s.”

“Well, I wasn’t feeling well,” Marcey said, giving an indifferent shrug.  Then she remembered what the man from this morning had told her and added droopy eyelids.  “You know, still tired. A slight crash. So Professor Passuum agreed to end the session early.  Then I met these two on the way back and they decided to make sure I got here safely to get some, er, Mabel Juice.”

“Oh,” said Dipper, frowning.  “But how did you get here so fast?  Why didn’t you get Stan to drive if you weren’t feeling well?  And why would-”

“She’s on her period!” Whitney declared loudly.

Dipper blinked at the redhead in surprise.  Then he turned to Mabel. “Are you?” he asked.

Marcey shot Whitney a glare before she turned back to the boy, trying to appear embarrassed.  “Uh, yes,” she said awkwardly. “And you know, I - I don’t like to talk about it. It’s kind of embarrassing and I didn’t want Stan to know.  And I was worried about what I’d say if he asked why I needed to be picked up. So I called Pa - Pacifica and she agreed to have her driver pick me up.  Then I saw Wendy and since I’d finally managed to get them to stop fighting I decided we could have fun. Help distract me from the cramps.” She shrugged.  “You know, girl stuff.”

Dipper nodded slowly.  “Oh. Okay.”

“So we’re just going to go upstairs for a little while and then go shopping to help take her mind off things,” Pamela said gently as they made their way out the kitchen and up the stairs, Marcey putting her hands over her belly as they walked.  When they closed the door to the twins’ room she stood up and glared at Whitney.

“What?” said Whitney, shrugging as the spirits finally reached the house and found their bodies.  “It works doesn’t it?”

“Such a sexist cliché,” Marcey muttered, gathering the bags of items they had purchased yesterday.  “Okay, I bought some hair dye,” she said, showing a few of the bottles to her friends. “There’s a motel just outside of town so we get a room for one night, use it just long enough to change our hair and then we drive away.  Hopefully that will be good enough until we get some proper alterations to these things.” She glanced at the colours. “Pam and I can be dark. Whitney, you could be blonde.”

“Not blonde!” Wendy cried with horror, earning a scathing look from Pacifica. 

“Aw, but I love my new hair,” Whitney complained, staring at the long red strands.  “It’s the best part of the new me!”

“It’s only temporary,” Pam told her gently.  “When the sorceress is back from vacation, we can get her to change our faces and ages and then we can be whatever hair colour we want without fear of being recognised.”

“Yes,” Marcey said as Whitney pouted.  “We can be eighteen or twenty somethings.  Still young but old enough to actually do all the things we want.  Perfect. We can also ask her about fixing some of these faults with these bodies.  I mean, I sneezed and there was more glitter than snot! I’m calling first dibs with any alterations spells on the bodies.”

“Wait, what?”  Whitney turned on her, fire in her eyes.  “Now hold on one minute, I get you’re the smart one but my whole sexuality’s changed, if anyone gets the first crack at that magic it should be-”

“Last night my poo was multicoloured and coated in glitter,” Marcey said, shuddering as the memory came back.  Whitney’s jaw dropped as Pamela, Wendy and Pacifica cringed. “Your body and mind can’t agree on what they want?  I pooped a sparkly rainbow turd. I think your hormones can wait their turn.”

“Yes,” Whitney agreed.  “Yes they can.”

“Okay, what the hell, Mabel?” Pacifica demanded.  “Why aren’t you dead?”

Mabel beamed proudly.  “Well you know what they say,” she said with no small amount of smugness, “eat glitter for breakfast and your poop will shine all week!”

“Literally no one has said that ever,” Pacifica said shaking her head.

“Mabel, I know I’m not one to talk about diets but we need to have a serious talk,” Wendy said anxiously, putting a hand on her shoulder.  “That’s just not normal. Not even for Gravity Falls!”

Mabel frowned at them as the three women inhabiting their bodies began gathering the bags, throwing in anything else that could be useful; the small first aid kit Dipper kept at hand in case something attacked the room or Mabel got too carried away with her arts and crafts, the snacks Mabel kept near her bed, spare underwear and some of Mabel’s plainer clothes.

“Okay, girls, this is it,” Wendy said, deciding to leave the conversation about Mabel’s body until it was back in the possession of its rightful owner.  “Anybody got any last-minute ideas?” She looked at the others. She saw only desperation and panic in Pacifica’s face. Mabel was grunting, her teeth and fists clenched in frustration as she focused on a pen next to one of Dipper’s notebooks, urging it to move.  But even as her eyes bulged and the groan became a yell the pen stayed completely still. Pacifica and Wendy shared looks of dismay as they saw her struggling, the woman gathering the last of the items, Mabel screaming now as the pen refused to budge, the women smiling as they were finally just minutes away from leaving this town and starting their new lives.

There was a knock at the door and Dipper leaned his head in the gap as he opened it.  “Hey, Mabel, wanna see what I found?” he asked, entering the room.

“Uh,” said Marcey, glancing at her friends as the real Mabel stopped her desperate attempt at telekinesis, wondering if this would be the last time her brother ever saw his sister’s physical form.  “Well I’m still feeling-”

“It’ll only take a sec and I think you’ll like it,” Dipper talked over her, taking a strange device out of his pocket.  “Watch your earrings!” he said with a smile as he pulled the trigger on something that could have been an alien weapon on a television show.  The room rattled as everything light with metal flew towards the boy, the first aid kit and Mabel’s makeup box trembling. They yelped as a couple of scissors flew through the air, along with several pens, pins, one of Mabel’s knitting needles and a few more items, all gathering at the end of the strange gun.  Three pairs of hands immediately went to the sides of their heads as they felt their earrings tug sharply, not very painful but definitely alarming.

“See, I got Ford’s Magnet gun,” Dipper explained as they watched the weapon warily.  “Lower settings can drag pens and things, just like what I did there. But higher settings-” he cocked the gun, the metal gathered at the end crashing to the floor as the faint blue light on its side stretched to both ends ominously, “- well that can rip someone’s earrings off and pull their fillings right out,” the boy continued as the women backed away.  “But you’d know that if you were really my sister,” he said, side-stepping so that he could focus the gun on them all with greater ease.

“Yes!” Wendy cried, pumping a fist as Pacifica grinned and Mabel squeed, trying to wrap her arms around her brother.  “Knew it would be him! Now I just wish we’d placed bets.”

“No one would have taken it,” Pacifica said, grinning as Mabel only ended up hugging herself but seemed to gleeful to care.

“Uh, I don’t know what you-” Pamela started to say before Dipper cut her off.

“Oh please,” he said with a roll the eyes.  “I heard you say you were changing your hair and faces after you were leaving town.  I was listening at the door and watching you through the keyhole! Which admittedly sounds kinda creepy now I’ve said it out loud,” Dipper faltered slightly before he shook his head and continued with more conviction, “but my suspicions were right so I don’t have to worry about it!  Here, I’ll prove it. What’s my favourite video game? That’s something all three of you should know. Any of you want to take a guess?”

The three women shared frustrated glances before they glared at the teen who had seen through their ploy.

“So, you figured it out,” Whitney growled, Marcey scowling as Pamela folded her arms.  “What gave it away?”

“Lots of things,” Dipper said with an indifferent shrug.  “I probably would have figured it out way sooner if I’d spent more time with any of you.  At first I thought it was just Mabel. She was acting so weird. Cold and distant. Mean.”  Marcey narrowed her eyes as Mabel blew a raspberry at her. “When we were talking last night you were really quiet, not reacting the way the real Mabel would.  No jokes or teases. Even when there were plenty of opportunities. You just sat there and listened. As if you were gathering information. That’s when I started to suspect something.  But I didn’t want to say anything in case Mabel really was just having a bad time. Then I remembered that you’d spent the day with Wendy and Pacifica too. I thought it was weird that you two were suddenly spending so much time together,” he said nodding towards Pamela and Whitney.  “Even Mabel isn’t that convincing. Especially not when Wendy and Pacifica are so stubborn.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?” Pacifica asked Wendy who only shrugged.

“Those comments you made when we came in,” Pamela said with a frown.  “You suspected us all straight away. You were testing us. We failed.”

Dipper nodded.  “As soon as I saw you three I could tell.  You all carried yourselves differently. But there was more to it than that.  I’m not as close to Pacifica but I remembered the way she - you - talked to me yesterday.  She was really looking forward to the arcade. I know how important it is when you finally find someone who shares your hobbies,” he said as Pacifica smiled.  “I don’t think she would have missed that. Not without telling me or coming up with a better excuse. And you,” he said, turning to Whitney. “No boots, no hat, a bit of makeup, all that would be weird but passable.  But no axe?” He smirked. “You really don’t know Wendy, do you? For one thing, she’s been fighting goblins since she was Gideon’s age, they’re too scared to attack her now.” 

“Well done, dude!” Wendy cried trying to slap his back.. “Sherlock Holmes has nothing on you!”

“I also saw some dried blood at her nostrils, so I knew it couldn’t be a shapeshifter,” Dipper continued, unaware of the glowing praise he was receiving.  “But the big clincher came when you tried to pretend Mabel was having her period.” He shook his head at Marcey, smirking. “My sister doesn’t get embarrassed by stuff like that.  Heck, the first time it happened she ran through the house yelling she’d achieved womanhood! And she knows I keep track of her cycle to make sure everything's well-stocked since she tends to forget!”

“I did!” Mabel grinned broadly as Wendy and Pacifica exchanged awkward looks.  “And he does! ‘Cause he’s the best brother in the world!” she declared, rubbing her ghostly face against and through his.  “Yes you are! Yes you are!”

“Uh, Mabel, don’t you think that’s kind of weird?” Wendy asked tentatively.

“Would you rather he just get freaked out so much a body-stealing stranger can use it as an excuse to freak out my whole family without raising suspicion?”

“Okay, good point,” Wendy conceded as Pacifica nodded grudgingly. 

“Fine, you’re smarter than we gave you credit for,” Marcey grunted.  “But we’re leaving. We paid for these bodies. And I don’t think you've got what it takes to pull that trigger.  Not if it will tear your sister’s lobes off...all that blood,” Marcey said quietly, watching him carefully. “Even if you gave her this body back, I don’t know how she’d forgive you for hurting her like that.”

The three women and teenage spirits turned to him, hoping or fearing that there would be hesitation in his eyes at the thought of hurting his sister’s body.  But instead they saw something else, a haunted look that no one his age should have been capable off. “Last summer a monster invaded my dreams and took over my body,” he told the room, his voice barely over a whisper.  “He hurt me. He threw me down the stairs. Stabbed my arms with forks and poured soda in my eyes. When I got my body back there was burns and bruises all over. There was blood under my fingernails from where he made me claw myself.  I didn’t want to think about what he did to me. But I did.” Tears gathered at the edges of his eyes as the women stared, Pacifica and Wendy looking from Dipper to Mabel as she slowly moved to float in front of her brother. Dipper swallowed and looked into the eyes of his sister, finding some comfort there even if there was someone else behind them.  “I was so scared, Mabel,” he said, not knowing he was looking directly at his real sister as he said it, her hand trying to cup his cheek. “More than with the Summerween Trickster. Even more than in the bunker. Because I had no control. He could make me do anything and I couldn’t stop him. And - and when I saw the note he left that made it even worse.  Because if he did kill my body then what would happen to the rest of me? Would I really be trapped forever, unable to even talk to you? That’s something I never want to go through again. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise you weren’t you. I don’t know what she’s done to you, if you’re still in there or if you’re nearby or if you can even hear me, but I’m going to stop her, Mabel,” he promised.  “I’m getting you back. I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long.”

“You big dummy,” Mabel whispered, pressing her forehead against his.  “Why are you apologising? You’re rescuing me. You’re our hero.”

Dipper rubbed at his forehead suddenly and took a step back, blinking away his tears as he suddenly felt flooded with determination.  “I’m not letting you take my sister or my friends,” he told the women firmly. “I don’t want to hurt you or them. Maybe they won’t talk to me for a while if I pull this trigger.  But I’d rather they hate me for a long time than never see any of them again. And I bet you’re not willing to suffer like that,” he said as they watched him anxiously. “I think that would hurt, having your fillings and earrings ripped out.  Even if you push past the pain and attack me, I doubt you could go anywhere. Not without drawing attention when people saw the blood or you had to speak.”

The spirits shared a look of conviction that told them each was willing to go through that pain to get their bodies back.  Pamela and Whitney shared a look that said they weren’t so sure. Marcey watched the steely-eyed teen in front of her, surprised by how dangerous he was proving to be.  She glanced at Pamela and Whitney and saw the clear doubt on their faces. This had been harder than they’d anticipated. More dangerous. These bodies weren’t as fun as they’d expected.  Pam had done the most research, found one with only a few minor annoyances. But she and Whitney had been too eager, jumped at the first ones available without checking all the details, despite what they’d been warned.  They’d been stupid. Arrogant and stupid. Even with the youth and looks, there was so much wrong with these bodies. Were they really worth the pain to the ears and teeth?

Teeth…

Marcey blinked as an idea came to her.  “You won’t shoot,” she said suddenly, stepping forward.

“Yes, I will,” Dipper said, focusing the gun on her, his voice mournful but stern.

“No, you won’t,” Marcey continued, taking one more step forward until the boy narrowed his eyes.  “Because of these.” She lifted her hands to her mouth and pulled the lips apart, revealing the braces.  “Tearing out the fillings and earrings would be painful and nasty,” she said as he turned pale. “But would you really be willing to rip out your sister’s whole mouth?  She’d never smile again...”

“I don’t care, I’d forgive you!” Mabel yelled.

But it was too late.  Dipper hesitated and it was just what Marcey needed to grab the gun with one hand and punch the side of his face with the other as she knocked him to the floor and the others jumped him.

“Get away from him!” Mabel snarled, launching herself at them.

“Why isn’t this working?” Wendy demanded as an axe formed in her hand and she tried to bury it in her own head.  “It worked last night!”

“Those walls were lined with ectoplasm,” Pacifica reminded her as she tried to roundhouse kick them off her friend.  “Ma and Pa said it could take years before we could really do anything to the living!”

But all three of them still tried until even Mabel had to admit it was pointless. So they resigned themselves to simply watching miserably as Whitney tore the sleeves off several of Mabel’s sweaters and passed them to Pamela who expertly knotted them together before using them to bound the teen with practiced ease.

“Never had to do this on someone so young before,” she muttered as Whitney stuffed a pair of socks in his mouth so Marcey could finally take her hand away.

“Aw man, those look like good knots!” Mabel complained as Dipper struggled.  “She must have been one heck of a girl scout,” she muttered, Wendy and Pacifica sharing yet another uncomfortable glance behind her back.

“Great, now we’ve assaulted, bound and gagged two people in less than an hour,” Whitney grunted as she lay back, the only one not panting from exertion.  “First a cripple, now an underage kid! Things are getting worse the longer we’re here. I say we just book it. Agreed?”

Before anyone could answer there was a rush of footsteps up the stairs and the door flew open, a young, heavy set woman in a cap and green t-shirt with a question mark logo scowling at them.  “Okay, what is with all the…” she trailed off as she saw the three teenage girls surrounding the bound and gagged boy, the two younger girls panting heavily as Dipper tried to yell through the sock stuffed in his mouth.  “Uh, wh-what’s happening?” she asked hesitantly, unsure if she really wanted to know.

Whitney turned to Marcey who opened her mouth repeatedly but found that for once in her life she was unable to think of a good lie.

“We wanted to bathe him,” Pamela said.  “He resisted. So we tied him up.”

The other women and the spirits stared at her, only Dipper still trying to speak through his gag.

“Oh,” said Melody, pausing as she looked at Dipper, desperately shaking his head and trying to speak through the socks.  “Okay. And why have you gagged him?”

“We didn’t want his screams to disturb the customers,” Pamela said after a second’s thought.  “So we were going to take him into the woods where he could clean him without causing a ruckus.”  

“Right,” Melody said, hovering by the door.  “Um...Soos?”

“Yes, honey?” her fiancé called back.

“Um, the girls have tied Dipper up.  And gagged him. They said they’ve done it so they can take him into the woods and bathe him.  Is - is that normal?”

Dipper shook his head even harder as Melody waited for a response.

“Well, we definitely talked about doing it last year,” Soos chuckled as all the spirits slapped themselves on the forehead.  “But we never actually got around to doing it. Guess Mabel’s really upped her game. Better let them do it unless you want Mabel to be mad.”

“Right,” Melody said slowly, watching Dipper bang his head against the floorboards.  “Okay, then. I’ll leave you girls to it. Just, er, just make sure you leave out the back so no one sees you.  And leave his undies on, okay? Let him have at least a little dignity,” she muttered as she made her way back to the gift shop.

“Pam, I have never been so impressed in my entire life,” Marcey crooned as they got to their feet.  “Whitney, pick up the kid.”

Mabel gave a groan of frustration as Pacifica rubbed at her temples and Wendy tried to hit her head against the wall.  “You see?” she admonished her brother. “This is why you should wash more!”

“This kid really does need to wash more,” Whitney muttered as she collected the boy from the ground.

“Don’t criticize him, you harpy!” Mabel screamed at her.

“Like you’re one to talk with that smell coming from those feet of yours,” Marcey grunted as they made their way down the stairs.

“Hey!” Wendy and Whitney snapped.

“Don’t be so rude, Marcey,” Pamela told her sternly.  “The boy doesn’t smell nearly as bad as those rotten carcass feet.”

“Hey!” Wendy and Whitney snapped again.

They carried the miserable teen to the campsite clearing not too far from the tourist trap, a place where the Shack crew had spent many nights enjoying roasted marshmallows, fireside stories and each other’s company.

“Is it okay to just leave him like this?” Whitney asked as she carefully propped him against one of the logs.  “There could be wild animals out here. Or goblins, since they’re a thing now.”

“He’ll be fine,” Pamela said dismissively.  “We’re not far from the building. Most animals avoid humans.  And I didn’t tie his arms or legs together so he should be able to crawl back, it will just take him a while.  We’ll be long gone by then.”

“So thoughtful of you,” Pacifica said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  

Pamela crouched down and patted Dipper on the head.  “Don’t worry,” she told him. “We won’t hurt you. And we won’t do to your sisters what that monster did to you.  We want to keep these bodies in prime condition.” Dipper shook his head and moaned through his gag at her. “I think he’s trying to say something,” She told her friends.

“So?” scoffed Marcey, Mabel aiming a kick at her head.

“So maybe it’s important,” said Pamela.  

“Oh come on, Marcey!” Whitney groaned in frustration as Marcey rolled her eyes.  “We’ve just assaulted the poor boy and practically kidnapped his friends and sister.  The least we can do is hear what he has to say. We’re too far away for him to call for help and if it’s something we don’t like we can just gag him again!”

“So please do not be rude or vulgar or we’ll put this back,” Pamela told him as she removed the sock.

Dipper said nothing at first, coughing as the gag was removed from his dry mouth and glaring at the women.  “Why did you drag me to the campsite?” he asked them. “Aren't you going to kill me while you've got the chance?”

“What?  No!” cried Whitney as even Marcey looked horrified at the idea.  “We’re not murderers! It’s just to keep you from blabbing!”

“Then why are you doing this?” he demanded.  “What did we ever do to you?”

“Boring question,” Marcey grunted, earning her another kick from Mabel.

“We wanted youth,” Pamela explained.  “You might have already guessed this but we’re really very old.  Even Marcey and she’s the youngest. Whitney and I are lucky we’ve made it this long.  We’ve been friends for longer than most people have been alive, helping each other rise to the top of our professions.  That’s hard enough for a woman in this day and age but back then things were much harder. Marcey’s temper and family background meant people were less willing to hire her, despite being the best at what she did.  Whitney and I had certain...preferences that were frowned upon and had to hide them, even when it was just our private lives. People were far less accepting when we were younger. But we prevailed, despite everything.”

"At a cost,” Whitney added.  “We put our ambition before everything.  Family and personal lives. We only had time for each other because we were the only ones who understood, who pushed and motivated each other to succeed.  But it’s like Pam said, things were harder then. Not as easy to find someone who shared or even accepted your tastes. We didn’t have many regrets. We’d done more than most and did it on our own.  But there were still some. We wished we could have enjoyed ourselves more, lived a little. And we saw the people of today complaining about the world and how hard it was for them, despite having all those opportunities we never had.  And, like everybody else, we wondered what we could do if we had those opportunities with all the knowledge and experience we had now. Then one of my old flames revealed magic was real.” She shrugged. “Who knew? She told me about this teenager who was selling her services.  You’re obviously a smart kid, I’m sure you can figure out the rest. Look, we’re not going to hurt these bodies. We need them. They’re our second chance. It might seem cruel but this is a good thing!” she said, Dipper giving her a sceptical look. “We’ve got accounts set up with enough money to live in luxury and start all over again, just better this time!  Your friends will want for nothing!”

“Well right now I want to tear all your hair out, so that’s a lie,” Pacifica muttered.

“You understand?” Pamela said quietly as the other spirits added their own threats and complaints.  “With the knowledge and experience we’ve earned throughout the years we can do so much good. Marcey’s skill with the law, Whitney’s economic expertise, my political savvy, all of these can do great things for the world.  We know how unfair it is for the outcasts, the people at the bottom. Now we can work on changing that. I mean, isn’t that something your sister and friends would want? To help people?”

Dipper’s nodded thoughtfully.  “I think I know what you’re trying to say,” he said slowly.  “You think you deserve this. That you’re entitled to these bodies.”  His mouth twitched. “You think you’re better than my sister and my friends.”  He gave them a withering look. “Who the hell do you think you are?” he demanded.  “You’re old, you wasted your youth, you wish you’d accomplished more or had more fun.  Boo hoo!” he sneered at them. “You think you’re the only person who thinks they’ve wasted part of their life?  I’m thirteen and I already think that! McGucket spent years of his life as a homeless man so demented his own son didn’t want to spend time with him!  They only started speaking again last year, I bet he’d love to be younger and spend more years with him but you don’t see him taking over people’s bodies to do it!  My own uncle was thrown out of his house at seventeen and had to turn to crime to survive! And even he wouldn’t stoop to anything like this!”

“But no, you think your lives are worth more than my sister and friends,” he growled.  “Why? Because you think you're smarter and could change the laws or make life easier for others?  You don’t know them! You’ve no idea what they’re capable of. You talk about climbing your way to the top?  That’s what Pacifica's doing right now! Her family’s still rich but she’d rather work as a waitress to earn her own way!  She’s seen first hand how people in power use and manipulate the system, she knows people at the bottom work just as hard as those at the top and get pushed aside anyway!  She’s clever and dedicated, one day I could see her become a politician or lawyer or philanthropist and make things easier for us! Heck, she could be president if she wanted!  I’d vote for her! Because I know she’s seen just how messed up the world is and I honestly believe she’d do everything possible to make it better.”

“I think you’ve found your perfect running mate,” Mabel grinned as Pacifica said nothing, thankful that she couldn’t blush.

“Well my girl would never do anything like that,” Whitney scoffed as Pamela bristled.  “You read her rap sheet? She’d probably end up in prison. World’s better off without-”

“Shut up!” Dipper barked, Whitney’s mouth snapping shut at the hostility in his voice.  “Don’t talk about her like that! She’s a hero! You’ve no idea what she's went through so don’t you dare judge her!  Yeah, she’s broken some laws, but you know what else she’s done? She’s saved people! She helped Toby and me survive Weirdmageddon!  She helped me save my sister when she could have stayed in her fort! She's treated me with more respect than anyone back home ever has!  Whenever someone’s rude or mean she’s the first to call them out, to stand up for the little guy when no one else will so you can shut your damn mouth!”

“Okay, that was pretty cool,” Wendy said, nodding approvingly.

“And you!” Dipper snarled, rounding on Marcey as Whitney scowled.  “You’re the worst! You’ve been nothing but selfish since you took over my sister’s body!  Mabel might be self-centred at times but you’re down right self-obsessed! My sister’s always been there for me, she’s helped me through the worst times of my life and when push comes to shove she’ll always put herself before others!  You come along and think you can just do whatever you want with other people and doing some good later makes up for it? My sister knows that’s not how things work! She’s trying every day to make up for her mistakes and even if she thinks she’ll never make up for it, she’s going to keep trying!  Because that’s what good people do! They admit their mistakes, they try to do better and then they keep trying even when it seems impossible!”

“Thanks, Bro,” Mabel said quietly.  “That means a lot to me.”

“You three keep telling yourselves that this will be better for the world in the long-run,” he growled as the women glared at him.  “It’s all lies. You complain about people in power oppressing others because they think they’re entitled to it. But that’s exactly what you’re doing.  You’re stealing other people’s lives because you think you’re better than them. But you’re not. Because they’d never do anything like this. They actually care about people and don’t put themselves before others.”  His mouth twitched again and he looked away from them. “You three are just bitter old hags who can’t handle the fact that your time has passed and the world’s moving on without you.”

The women bristled at his words.  “What a rude little boy you are,” Pamela said to the teen, reaching for the socks again.  “You’re wrong. We will make this world a better place. And if you can’t see that there's more important things than these girls’ lives then that’s your folly.  We’ll - wait.” She paused as she saw his smirk. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because in our last adventure my sister and I realised we made a big mistake,” Dipper told her smugly.  “We’d spent too much time last summer doing everything ourselves. We promised that next time we’d include the family.”

“And good thing too,” said Ford, stepping out of the woods, an odd rifle in his hands.  “Apologies for the delay, Dipper. We had to find the tranquiliser guns. But Stan’s driving more than made up the time.”

“Hey if they didn’t want people to run through stop signs then they shouldn’t put them in the middle of the road,” Stan growled, appearing from the other end of the clearing with a similar rifle aimed at the imposters.

“Stan! Ford!” Mabel flew around the clearing with glee.  “I’m so glad to see you!”

The three friends retreat slowly from the raised weapons.  Marcey swallowed loudly, getting over her shock at seeing that there appeared to be two of the great-uncles to approach the one she was sure she’d shared the car journey with.  “Would you really shoot your own great-niece?” she asked, trying to make herself as small and helpless as possible.

“Uh,” said Stanley, hesitating as the familiar brown eyes looked at him pleadingly.

“Don’t listen to her, Stan!” Dipper yelled.  “She’s a lawyer!”

“Get out of my niece, you parasite!” Stan roared, firing the rifle.

Marcey looked down at the dart protruding from her chest, the edges of her vision blurring.  She glared at the man who had just shot her. “Mother-” she managed to say just before her knees buckled and the world went dark.

“Hah!” cried Mabel as Marcey’s friends cried out in despair.  “That’ll teach you to mess with my family!”

Ford took aim and fired at Pamela while her back was turned and Stan swung his rifle back up to fire at Whitney as the spirits cheered.  Whitney glared at the dart in her shoulder, tearing it out as Pamela fell on her side. She shook her head as her body somehow stayed upright despite the drugs in her bloodstream.  “It’ll take more than that to stop me!” she snarled.

So Stan shot her again.

“Is it wrong that I found that strangely satisfying?” he asked as Whitney’s face hit the ground, her rear still in the air.

Everyone except Pacifica glared at him, the blonde sniggering at the sight of Wendy’s rump above her head.  “Oh come on!” he complained, only seeing the look on Dipper and Ford’s faces. “I paid her to basically just sit around and complain all day!  I think I deserve this!”

“Oh my God!” Pacifica giggled, circling the downed redhead.  “Wendy! Your butt is so big!”

“Is not!” snapped Wendy, turning her scowl away from Stan.  “It’s just the angle she’s at! It’s a crummy position!”

Mabel shook her head as they started to argue.  “At least they were quiet for a while,” she sighed, floating over to her brother as Ford untied him.  Dipper massaged his wrists and pulled his phone out of his pocket, finally ending the call he made to Ford.  “Good job, Broseph,” she told him, wrapping her arms around him. “You deserve a congratulatory sibling hug.  Pat pat.”

“Pat pat,” replied Dipper, wondering why he’d said it.


	7. Chapter 7

Marcey woke with a start as the smelling salts did their work, making her gag as Ford used them on her friends.

“Wonder if they really taste salty?” Mabel wondered.

“No,” Wendy told her, shaking her head.  “Remember what we discussed. From now on only eat things that are food.  Or, you know, technically edible at least.”

“You’re no fun,” Mabel pouted.

Marcey looked at the two men and the boy, trying to stand but falling to the side since her arms were bound.  Her legs were free but they still felt weak so she knew better than to run. “So what are you going to do with us?” she asked as Ford drew a circle on the grass.

“We’re throwing you out of those bodies and letting the girls back in,” Stan answered for him, standing behind them with his rifle at the ready.  “You go back to being you, they go back to being them.”

“That’s it?” Pamela said in surprise.  “No curses or revenge?”

“Trust me, it was tempting,” Stan growled.  “But we’d have to question you three to find out who you are and we can’t exactly threaten you when you’re in those bodies and Ma raised us to never hit a woman anyway.  No, we’d rather just get the girls back. Not that you don’t deserve a good curse or whatever, but Ford said that’s a dark path to start on and we ain’t the bad guys. So...yeah, you get off scot-free this time.”

“But don’t try anything like this again,” Ford added as he checked the circle.  “If we find even a hint of anyone else in town acting unlike themselves-”

“Oh don’t worry, we are never coming anywhere near this town again!” Marcey snapped.  “It’s full of freaks and weirdos!”

“Why did she say that like a threat when it’s exactly what we wanted to hear?” Pacifica muttered.

“That’s just how entitled people think,” Wendy shrugged.  “They treat you like crap then expect you to miss them when they leave.  Idiots.”

“There, done,” said Ford, clapping his hands together.  “Now you three just step into this circle. Or would you prefer we drag you?” he asked when they only glared at him.

The friends looked at each other and made noises of discontent but awkwardly got to their feet.

“Oh well, it was fun while it lasted,” Pamela sighed as the spirits grinned at being so close to having their bodies back.

“Speak for yourself,” Whitney grunted.  “I’ve been beaten up, saw a murdered deer and couldn’t even try out my new body on any of the honeys in town.”  She shook her head miserably. “Such a waste.”

“That was unfortunate,” Pamela agreed.  “I do regret that I never got the chance to let my new girls be fondled.”

“‘Honeys?’  ‘New girls?’” Dipper repeated blankly as Wendy and Pacifica groaned in frustration and Stan and Ford coughed awkwardly.  “What are you-?” then the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. “Wait a minute!” he yelled, glaring at them. “Are you telling me you wanted to use my friends’ bodies to - to satisfy yourselves?”  His eyes narrowed. “If I find out you did anything to them I will make you pay!” He promised, giving them the best glare he could muster.

Pamela and Whitney shared a look and burst out laughing.  

“Stop laughing!” Dipper snapped as Marcey started to join in at his failure to intimidate them.  “I’m serious!”

They laughed even harder as he continued his scowl, Ford looking at the boy with sympathy while Wendy and Pacifica scratched their heads awkwardly at his result even if they appreciated his motive.

“This isn’t funny!” Dipper tried to growl, his voice unfortunately cracking at that moment.

“Oh no!” Whitney cried in mock alarm.  “The little boy is angry at us!”

“Look at the expression on his face!” Pamela howled.  “It’s so cute!”

“I’m warning you!” Dipper said, his voice drowned out by their howls as even Stan and Mabel stopped taking his efforts seriously.

“Uh oh!” Mabel laughed, elbowing the other spirits in amusement as Stan’s mouth twitched.  “He’s trying to channel our Mom!”

Dipper continued his scowl as the laughter continued.  Then his expression changed and the laughter died as the look on his face suddenly wasn’t funny any more.

He reached up and grabbed Whitney’s collar, dragging her down until she was only a head higher than him.  The other hand shot out and grabbed Pamela by her collar, lifting her to her toes until she was eye-level with Whitney.

“If I find out that you have done anything in my friends' bodies, I will hunt you down,” he promised them as a chill seemed to seep into the clearing, giving even the spirits goose bumps.  “Then I will make sure that you have more to regret than a wasted youth.”

“Uh oh!” Mabel whispered, elbowing the other spirits in alarm as Stan’s jaw dropped.  “He’s trying to channel our Mom!”

“And you!” Dipper snarled as he rounded on Marcey, the woman actually tripping over herself to escape his wrath as Ford and Stan took a step back from the look in his eyes.  Dipper grabbed her by the front of the sweater and lifted her to her knees. “If you’ve done anything in my sister’s body then there will be nowhere in the universe that you can escape,” he hissed as her mouth went dry.  “You can run. You can hide. But that will be the rest of your life.” He leaned closer and narrowed his eyes. “Because if you don’t, I will find you. And your remains will be the perfect warning to the next fool who tries to harm my family.”

“Mom says that!” Mabel whimpered as Ford and Stan shared looks of horror.  “She really is his son!”

Then the moment passed, the strength went out of the boy’s thin limbs and he let Marcey go, his scowl once again changing to something less than threatening.

But even temporary it had done it’s work.

“Get in the circle, ladies!” Marcey ordered them, shakily getting to her feet.

Whitney and Pamela exchanged glances.  “Are you alr-”

“Get in the bloody circle!” she shrieked, practically headbutting them towards it.

“What the hell was that?” Wendy asked when she could speak again, staring at Dipper as Ford cleared his throat and started the incantation to remove the women from their bodies.

“I take after Dad, he takes after Mom,” Mabel whispered in awe.  “I always knew that, I just didn’t think he was that much like her!”

“I never knew he had it in him!” Wendy said, shaking her head at the small, skinny teen, barely able to believe what she had just witnessed.  “That was so...” She struggled to think of the right word. “So…”

 _“Hot,”_ breathed Pacifica, her voice husky.

Wendy blinked.  “Um, not the word I’d use but...okay?”

They were still staring at the teenage boy with a mixture of emotions when Ford finished the spell and women in the circle collapsed, three white lights shooting out of their bodies, arching high into the sky.

“Was that them?” Pacifica asked, putting the thoughts of a furious Dipper away for later use as the men waited nervously, clearly unable to see the rockets of light flying through the air.  “Can we take our bodies back?”

“One way to find out,” Mabel said, pinching her nose.  “Geronimo!” she cried, cannonballing into her body.

Pacifica looked at Wendy who only shrugged before she did a casual hop into her own body, the blonde rolling her eyes at them before flying into her own.

“Mabel?” Dipper asked tentatively as he saw his sister’s eyes flutter open.  “Is that you?”

She stared at him, the sun bright in her eyes, the ground hard beneath her and the breeze cool on her skin.  “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” she said, the relieved smiles on her families' faces making her feel happier than she had been in weeks.

“I’m back!” Pacifica cried, hugging herself and glad that no one else was wearing her skin.  “It’s great to be me!” 

“Yeah, it’s good to feel things again,” Wendy agreed, taking Stan’s offered hand as a grinning Dipper helped Mabel to her feet and Ford did the same with Pacifica.  “Mostly,” she added, wincing at the bruises on her face.

“I’m sorry you got hurt,” Dipper told her.  “I’m sorry it took me so long to realise what was happening,” he told them all.  “Especially you, Mabel. I should have noticed straight away that-”

“LALALALALALA!” screamed Mabel, putting her hands over her ears and stomping away.  “Don’t want to hear it! No apologies!”

“But-” Dipper began before Wendy put a finger to his lips.

“Nope,” she told him firmly.  “No sorries or buts. You did good today.  End of.”

“Wendy and Mabel are right,” Pacifica said.  “You stopped them, Dipper. We were literally minutes away from having someone steal our lives from us.  But you saw through it all. You saved us from who knows what and even called your uncles to let them know the truth just in case things went wrong.  You’re the smartest and bravest guy I know.” She cleared her throat as her cheeks turned red. “And sweet. I heard what you told them about me. About us.  That was pretty cool of you.”

“Not as cool as when you when all fury mode on them!” Wendy grinned, slapping him on the back.  “One look and those hags were practically knocking their knees together! Dude, seriously, that was awesome!”

“That’s one word for it,” Stan grunted, remembering when he and his brother had been on the receiving end of a similar look during Hanukkah.

“Yes, you’ve done well,” Ford added, putting a hand on his shoulder.  “You realised quickly that she wasn’t really your sister, then did the same with your friends and even correctly guessed that there was a transference of souls.  Even when you were captured you managed to stall them long enough for Stan and I to get here. I am very proud and very impressed with you. So is Stanley, even if he struggles to admit it.”

“Wait, have we talked him out of his unnecessary guilt-trip?” Mabel asked, removing her hands from her ears as Stan gave a grunt.  “Okay, great! In that case...”

She rushed up and threw her arms around her brother.  “Thank you for saving me,” she told him. “Thank you for saving Wendy.  Thank you for saving Pacifica. Thank you for giving up that pool job to help me with Mermando.  Thank you for rescuing me from the gnomes. Thank you for putting up with me and my dumb crushes all of last summer.  Thank you for being my brother.” She squeezed him tighter. “I’m sorry for those things she said when she was in my body.  She was wrong. You’re the best.”

“Thanks, Dipper,” Pacifica said as Dipper anxiously patted his sister’s back.  “For helping me with that ghost. You did all that even after everything I’d said about your family.  And I’m sorry for those insults. Sorry for everything I said. Sorry for that time I was selfish and let that monster steal your face, Mabel.  And thank you both for giving me a second chance. For teaching me that I’m better than I thought I was.” She hesitated for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around the twins.

Stan and Ford rubbed the back of their necks awkwardly as they watched the display of affection.  They looked at Wendy who seemed unsure what to do. “Ah, what the hell, count me in too,” she said, wrapping her own arms around the twins.  “Thanks for giving me the best summer ever,” she told them. “For sticking with this delinquent when you can do way better. Thanks for everything.”

“I thought you didn’t like the mushy stuff?” Mabel asked.

“I don’t but I really wanted in on this for some reason,” Wendy said with a frown.  “Think I’m super emotional now that I’ve got hormones again.”

“I hear that,” Pacifica grunted as Mabel made a noise of confirmation.

Dipper said nothing as he stood at the centre of the hug, unsure what to make of it.  But he couldn’t deny that it was nice to have his sister and friends back and even if he was uncomfortable with Pacifica and Wendy pressed so close to him, at least it was them in their bodies and not someone else.  So he didn’t complain or resist or even move since a part of him told him that all of them, even Wendy, just needed this right now. And he’d already been too long without them to want to push them away so soon.

“Yes, Dipper was most impressive,” Ford droned on proudly, too eager to give an explanation to notice this wasn’t the best time.  “The hints were quite subtle but that still did not deter him-”

“Stan, do me a solid?” Wendy asked.  “Stow your brother somewhere else until we finish up here, huh?”

“You got it,” Stan said, taking his twin by the arm and dragging him back to the Shack.  “Come on, Poindexter, you can praise the kid later,” he sighed. “All those brains and you still haven’t figured out when to keep your trap shut for later.”

Ford opened his mouth to complain but then saw his protégé surrounded by the women he cared for, trying to show their appreciation for his part in their rescue, despite too-often being blinded by his own failings.  And he closed his mouth, realising that nothing he said could really compare to that.

“ _Ooh_ , Pacifica!” the brothers heard just as they left the clearing.  “You’re so _squishy_!”

“Shut up, Mabel, you’re ruining the moment!”

* * *

 

“Here you go Waddles,” Mabel said, lowering the plate to the floor.  “Eat as much as you want, you deserve it for putting up with that mean old lady!”

Waddles squealed with delight, not just at the sight of the overflowing plate but also at seeing his beloved master return to her normal pleasant and generous self.

Mabel rubbed his head affectionately as she returned to her own food.  “Oh!” she said as a memory surfaced. She grabbed her brother by the shoulder and pulled him closer.  “Thanks for giving up your day with Wendy to let me keep Waddles,” she whispered so that neither Wendy nor Pacifica could hear.

“Stop thanking me, already! Dipper groaned.  “And I still had that one day with her and things worked out for us all in the end anyway!  I’m too hard on myself sometimes, I get it! Seriously, you can stop thanking me!”

“I’ll stop when you stop helping me,” Mabel told him.  “Which will be, hmm, never?”

Dipper sighed and shook his head but smiled, glad that Mabel seemed to be in a much better mood today than he’d been expecting.  Whatever had happened while she was trapped outside her body, it clearly wasn’t as bad as he had feared. In fact, she was still cheerful even several hours after getting her body back.  She had given a detailed explanation about most of what happened to Ford and Dipper while Stan had quickly driven the Northwest’s stolen vehicle to Professor Passuum, releasing and explaining the situation to her before returning the car to the Northwest garage.  Wendy had also been quick to phone her family, loudly complaining that they hadn’t raised any alarms about her strange behaviour while Pacifica had a more apologetic call to Lazy Susan and explained why she had missed work. Last year they would have been forced to come up with some tall tale to explain their odd behaviours but now the idea of someone stealing bodies was pretty straightforward compared to battling a reality-warping pyramid in a top hat.

After the calls were completed, and making one of his own to Soos and Melody, Ford had used Stan’s car to take them to McGucket’s home where he could run further tests on them just to make sure that they were no residual effects from their possession or the tranquilisers and question them further about their experience.

Fiddleford Hadron McGucket was pleased that his rifles had worked and was especially pleased to see the younger twins in the flesh again.  The inventor had changed a great deal from last year. He stood straighter now, no longer bending his knees or hunching and he wore better clothes, the weathered hat, overalls and foot bandages replaced by a casual clothes and shoes while the long, wild beard was gone with only rough stubble in its place.  Surprisingly, some hair had started to return to his bald head, not much and very thin but enough that he could probably make a comb-over if he let it grow long enough. When he had smiled down at them, revealing a set of new teeth as he shifted the glasses on his nose, he had looked decades younger than the last time they had seen him and you could almost believe that he must have found some fantastical way of reversing the aging process.  But as his son Tate joined him and led them through his new home (he had renamed it McGucket's Hootenanny Hutt, much to the horror of Preston Northwest) to the laboratory it was obvious that the real reason for his returning health was tied to his mental health, that finally having a good relationship with his son and no longer having to scrounge for food or work had lifted a great burden from his shoulders.  

He most of all was more relieved when the tests confirmed that the drugs would have no ill effects apart from some slight dehydration.  Which was more than enough of an excuse for him to invite them all for lunch, saying it would finally allow him to use the dining room now that there were finally enough people for the long table, even going so far as to phone Stan and asking him to pick up Soos, Melody and Abuelita on his way and asked his now fully automated kitchen to prepare a large meal for them.

Dipper had loved to watch the machines prepare the food, more efficient than any human team.  Mabel had at first complained that the kitchen had refused to add glitter to her meal but a quiet word from Wendy and she had grudgingly admitted that a machine that could cook almost anything was still pretty cool.

While the food was being prepared they had gathered at the dining room table which had also been prepared by some of the many machines McGucket had invented to take care of the Manor.  There the girls had gone into even greater detail about their time as spirits, leaving out only the more personal details.  

“Fascinating,” Ford muttered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.  “There are so many exciting questions! What is the nature of ghosts, is it purely random that some people become ghosts or is there one shared trait between them all?  Fiddleford and his son have created many devices to remove the ghosts that haunt this manor and they have wondered why so many are drawn here.” He turned to his friend and his son.  “Perhaps we could research why they become ghosts in the first place. Do you believe you could perhaps invent something that would allow us to communicate with them better?”

“I’m not sure,” McGucket said slowly, his brow furrowing in thought.  “Sounds trickier than just bustin’ ‘em. Think it’s feasible, Nate?”

“Yep,” Tate said with ease, casually flipping through his fishing magazine.  “We just got to alter the bandwidth of that busting doohickey so’s it’d give out a weaker signal that’ll get their attention but not outright destroy them.  Then we tinker with the communications thingamajigger, maybe merge it with that scanner whatchamacallit and after we can build something to process any outputs.  Then we could talk to them no problem.  ‘Course it might take a while, especially with those other contraptions we’ve been working on.”

The teen girls all looked at Dipper for translation.

“Don’t look at me!” he said, raising his hands.  “What these guys talk about is way over my head.”

“Okay, you talk to them if you want to,” Pacifica said.  “If you find out the secret to becoming a ghost just make sure you tell me what it is so I can avoid it.  I’d rather not go through all that again. Which brings up the next problem, this sorceress who was hired by the women, how do we know we won’t wake up outside our bodies again?”

“I doubt that will happen,” Ford told her gently.  “Magic usually comes at a cost. Casting a complex spell like that could be draining, and if they mentioned that she’s on vacation then she’s probably using that to recover.  Besides, she’d require more blood and now we know to be alert for any strange behaviour. Well, very strange behaviour. Nonetheless I could find some charms that you could keep in your rooms, protect you from magic.  We may have some unicorn hair left over…”

“Let’s hope so,” Wendy muttered.  “I don’t want to talk to them again.”

“Tell me about it!” Pacifica rolled her eyes.  “The whole time we were hiding out at the Shack all they did was complain about everything.  I mean, I thought I was bad but at least I didn’t demand that someone brush my hair one hundred times a day when the world was ending.”

“Well what about other spells?” Dipper asked.  “Even if she can’t cast those exact spells at us, shouldn’t we be concerned about the power she has?”

“I’m afraid there’s not much we can do about that for now,” Ford sighed.  “She was only hear for a few days, none of us know her name, we don’t even know the full names of her clients, it’s frustrating but from what I’ve heard it doesn’t sound as if she had a good relationship with the women.  Hopefully that will mean we’ve seen the last of her. We could warn the town but it isn’t as if we have a picture to show anyone.”

“I can help with that!” Mabel declared, taking Dipper’s pen and notebook.  “I can use my expert artistic skills to sketch her likeness,” she explained as she started drawing.  “Just like those guys on those cop shows! I mean, this pen is blue and her hair and clothes were black but I think you can use your imagination to get past all that.  Here we go, a perfect likeness!” She returned the notebook to Dipper. “Unless there are any details you remember about her that I’ve forgotten? Like a scar or something?”

Dipper took the notebook and considered it for a moment before showing it to Wendy and Pacifica.

“I don’t remember her having a forked tail,” Wendy said as Ford pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Or horns.”

“Is that fire coming out of her mouth?” Pacifica asked, taking the notebook and staring at the picture.  “And why is there a cat at her feet? Did she have a cat?”

“I like kitties,” Mabel mumbled.  “You guys just don’t appreciate art.”

Wendy and Dipper shared a glance.  “I’ll check the security cameras at the Shack,” he sighed.

“Good idea, I’ll pass her picture to some people in town,” Ford said.  “I’d rather not alarm too many townsfolk, especially if I don’t believe she’s a real threat.  But I’ll speak to the mayor and the sheriff's department just to be on the safe side.”

There was a beep from one of McGucket’s robots and the scientist got to his feet.  “Ah, the rest of our guests have arrived!” There was another beep from a different robot.  “And just in time! The food’s almost ready. Now, if everyone could take their seats, I’ll ask my machine to bring them to us.  I’d do it myself, but these little contraptions are less likely to get lost.”

They sat down at the table and soon food was brought to them by an army of smaller droids, settling the feast down in front them while Mabel hummed ‘Be Our Guest’ loudly, making the other teens smile.  Ford and McGucket didn’t smile because, while they enjoyed the tune, they didn’t catch the reference. Tate just didn’t smile. Eventually the other robot returned and announced the visitor. “Professor Passuum here to see you,” it stated as the woman rolled into the room.

“Ah, Professor!” McGucket said loudly, standing up to greet her as Wendy dropped off her chair and rolled under the table, the cloth hiding her from view.  “What a surprise! Uh, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Hello, Fiddleford,” she said, nodding at him as he approached.  “And hello Mabel, Pacifica, Dipper and Stanford. Don’t worry,” she said quickly as the girls opened their mouths.  “Stanley explained everything. There’s really nothing to forgive but I forgive you. Well, I forgive you two at least,” she growled as Dipper heard Wendy wince beneath the table.  “But that’s actually why I wanted to speak to you, Fiddleford. I know you’re quite the wizard with technology and after my little incident this morning I was hoping to discuss some security measures with you.  I’m sorry, your robot just let me in but if I’d known you were entertaining-”

“Oh, nonsense!” said Fiddleford, leading her to another set of doors.  “But why don’t we just speak in the other room for now? That way everyone can enjoy their meal and if you’d like to join us after our talk...”

Wendy quickly peeked out from under the table as she heard their voices fade, getting to her feet and relieved that McGucket’s quick thinking had given her the opportunity to escape.  She scanned the room for any windows that she could climb through.

“Go through the kitchen,” Ford said hurriedly as a robot beeped to signify the arrival of the expected guests.  “Just turn right when you get out so there’s no chance they’ll spot you through the windows. I’ll ask the others not to mention you.”

“Thanks,” Wendy grunted before quickly making her way to the exit.  She was almost outside when she heard someone call out to her.

“Here,” Dipper gasped, panting at having run to catch up for her and offering a napkin holding some of the food from the table.  “I grabbed some of what you like. I know it’s not much but it’s better than nothing.”

“Hey, thanks, dude,” Wendy told him appreciatively.  “I don’t know what that Whitney lady was eating but I’ve been hungry all day.  This’ll do me until I get home. I’ll see you tomorrow, dude.”

“Wendy, wait,” Dipper hesitated as she paused at the door.  “I just, I just wanted to say that I think it’s unfair that you have to do this.  Leaving, I mean. It was just a prank, yeah it went way wrong but making you leave every time she enters a building?  And then attacking you when Whitney came over to her house? I mean, I know she’s helping Mabel but I still think that was a major overreaction, hitting you like that.”

“Dipper…”Wendy sighed, thinking back to the attack and the fury in the woman’s eyes.  “Look, dude, I get where you’re coming from. And I appreciate it. But this is just something I’ve gotta deal with.  Actions have consequences. And not just for me. Those stupid pranks I love, sometimes people can actually get hurt from them.  I mean, if someone stuck me in a chair for three days I’d never want to see them again either.”

“But-”

“It’s fine,” Wendy told him firmly.  “Really. It’s better than I deserve. I mean, if Tyler wasn’t such good friends with my Dad I might’ve ended up in jail.  And as for overreacting…” Wendy sighed, thinking back on what little she knew about the woman who had come to town, offering to help people finally talk about the things they were too scared to even think about sometimes.  “Look, do you know what happened to the Professor during Weirdmageddon?” Dipper shook his head. “Nobody does,” she told him. “She’s never spoken about it as far as I know. She sees everyone else, Mabel, McGucket, Pacifica, Mayor Tyler, Blubs, Durland and maybe even Mendez.  But there’s no one for her to talk to. She’s gotta keep her distance, keep things professional. And think how tough Weirdmageddon was for us and we had experience with just how freaky things could be. But a stranger just passing through who managed to survive when she couldn’t even walk?  Man, I don’t think I even want to know what she went through.”

“Yeah, that - that sounds really awful,” Dipper agreed slowly.

“So yeah, taking a few beatings and having to walk out the door earlier is pretty tame in comparison,” Wendy said.  “It’s time I just own up to the bad crap I’ve done and face the consequences.”

“That’s pretty cool of you,” Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Nah, should have done it sooner,” Wendy grunted.  “And speaking of something I should have done sooner - you remember that night in the convenience store when you did the-”

“Don’t say it!” Dipper hissed looking around.  “Oh man, don’t tell me Pacifica knows? Did the ghosts tell her?”

“Don’t know,” Wendy frowned.  “I think it was mentioned but you’d better check with Mabel.  If it was mentioned, text me and we can try to come up with a story, spare you any embarrassment.  Anyway, like I was saying. I never told you how cool that was of you. Thanks, dude.”

“Nothing cool about doing a stupid dance,” Dipper grunted, turning red.  “Especially not in that outfit.”

“That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” she told him, grinning at his reaction.  “But no, I really mean it,” she said turning serious. “Doing something like that to save a group of guys you were trying to impress?  That took guts. I don’t think I could have done that. Especially not after we all made fun of you. Including me.  So I’m sorry. We cool?”

“Uh, yeah, of course,” Dipper said, scratching his head awkwardly.

“Great,” Wendy grinned.  “We’ll catch up later. But I’ve really gotta go so you have a good time.”  She winked at him. “You’ve earned it, Mister Detective.”

Dipper waved as she ran, fast and agile like a jungle cat.  “Mister Detective,” he muttered under his breath as he made his way back to the dining room.  “And I think I’ve found my next mystery…”

* * *

 

Pacifica brushed at her jacket as she waited for Dipper in the arcade.  She pulled out her hand mirror and checked her reflection. Balance was the key.  She had to look nice but casual nice, not as if she’d put any effort into it. Unfortunately, that kind of look usually took more effort to get right than anything else.  But she thought she’d done pretty well. And there was still an hour to go before they’d agreed to meet. True, maybe an hour was overdoing it but she wanted to make sure she had plenty of time to find that sweet spot for her appearance.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a wolf-whistle. 

“Hey, baby, why are you looking over there when you could be looking over here?”

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Do you always look that good or is it just ‘cause I’m here?”

Pacifica groaned and turned to see a trio of older boys grinning at her, their leader a tall blond with glasses, wiggling his eyebrows. “Just back off, Gill!” She snapped.  “I’m here to relax and have fun! Can’t you go bother someone else for a change?”

“What, is it my fault if your beauty distracts me?” Gill grinned as his friends chuckled.  “I want to relax and have fun too so why don’t we try it together?”

Pacifica rolled her eyes.  “I’m not interested! Take a hint!”

“Listen, one date, we’ll have some fun,” Gill continued, stepping closer as his friends elbowed each other in amusement.  “I’ll even be the gentleman and pay. I mean, that’s pretty fair considering how rich you are-”

“No,” Pacifica said again.  “Not. Interested. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”

“Well why not?” he demanded.  “Am I not good enough for you or something?”

“No, you’re not,” a familiar voice growled in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

He spun round and gave a short scream as Wendy Corduroy glared at him, his friends behind her already throwing their arms up in surrender in case she turned on them.

“Hello, Gill,” Wendy said, her voice low.  “Still an idiot who can’t take a hint, I see.  I’m actually glad I’ve found you. Didn’t think I’d ever say that but it’s true.  Because otherwise you might have continued to harass girls and then I wouldn't have been able to tell you to stop.  Because you’re going to stop,” She told him, her eyes narrowing as he whimpered. “Do you know why? Because I don’t really like that girl you kept hitting on.  And I’m still willing to beat you up again for the way you treated her. Which means that if I even hear a rumour that you’ve been this way to someone I don’t dislike or, even worse, actually like then I will lose my temper.”  She stepped forward and the boy whimpered again. “And you know what happens when I lose my temper,” she whispered. “So apologise to her and then you and your friends stay away for the rest of the week and reflect on how to be better people.  Okay?”

Gill nodded desperately, his friends doing the same despite Wendy having her back to them.

“I am so sorry,” he gasped, facing Pacifica.  “I was wrong, I should have taken no for an answer and - and shouldn’t have pushed you and now I need to run because I peed myself a little.”  He made to leave then turned to Wendy hesitantly. “And I’m really sorry for touching your-”

Wendy shot a hand out and pulled him close.  “Run,” she hissed as he peed a little more.

“Wow,” Pacifica said as the boys scrambled.  “I’m - I’m actually impressed. Well done. And thanks.  Have you been giving Dipper lessons?”

“Eh, you’re welcome,” Wendy shrugged.  “And no, Dipper should be giving me lessons if anything.  But apparently that’s something he inherited from his Mom and he can’t do it on command.  Tried for almost an hour but he just looked constipated. And Mabel said their Mom only does it on special occasions because otherwise it would lose its potency or something.”

“Oh.”  Pacifica considered this.  “That makes sense. Kind of.  Anyway, what are you doing here?  You haven’t come to spy on me and Dipper, have you?” she asked, suddenly suspicious.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Wendy replied.  “No, I just remembered what you said about Gill and then I also remembered he used to like to come here around this time when we were dating.  And I didn’t want you or Dipper to have to deal with him when you only wanted to enjoy yourselves. Didn’t expect you to be here so soon.”

“Yeah, well,” Pacifica muttered uncomfortably.  “You know. Get prepared. Early bird catches the worm.  And stuff.”

Wendy nodded.  “”Okay. Listen, we might not be friends...but that doesn’t mean we have to be enemies either.  We did pretty well together for those two days as ghosts. There were a few rough spots but we even had some fun on our own.  Remember what I said about some people needing someone to act as the glue? Well sometimes people also need someone to be the barrier.  That’s what I was to Dipper and Robbie. So, maybe Dipper and Mabel could be ours? I mean if the boys can do it, why can’t we?”

“I...Okay,” Pacifca said slowly.  “I’ll try to stop being jealous. I mean, crushes are dumb, you can’t help who you like.  And it’s obvious that you’re regretting some of the stupid things you’ve done. I’m trying to be better too.  And we do care about the twins. Both of them. We’ve both been mean and selfish, to them and others. Maybe...maybe we should just accept that instead of judging each other?”  She held out her hand. “Truce? For Dipper and Mabel’s sake?”

“Truce,” Wendy agreed, shaking her hand again, this time without the spit.  “For them. Anyway, I better go. No offence but I’m still not ready to spend another hour alone with you yet and I want to keep this thing going for as long as possible.”

“None taken,” Pacifica said, relieved that she wouldn’t be staying.  She watched the redhead girl go, thinking about the time she had spent with her and their conversation.  “Huh, maybe she’s not all bad,” she said, unaware the Wendy was thinking the same thing.

* * *

 

“Come on, Dipper!” Mabel urged her brother as she kept watch from the doorway of the motel office.  “Stan can’t keep her distracted forever.”

“Alright, just keep an eye open,” Dipper said as he scanned the sign in sheet at the desk.  “Okay, room four, got it,” he said jumping down from the desk and returning to his great-uncle who was unfortunately trying to charm the manager and was only moments away from getting pepper-sprayed before Mabel whispered the room number in his ear and he agreed to rent it for the hour, complaining about the price before his brother reminded him they were on a schedule.

“Man this takes me back,” Stan sighed as both sets of twins entered the very standard room.  “Some of the worst years of my life I spent living in dumps like this. So how’d you know this is her room?”

“We know she was only here for around two days,” Dipper explained as they scanned the room for any clues.  “The women mentioned that she was on vacation so we know she couldn’t have been here yesterday. I checked who had signed out then and when they had arrived.  Only one person fit the bill and this was her room.”

“Nice work, Bro,” Mabel said proudly.  “I knew I kept you around for a reason!”

“Yes, good work,” Ford agreed as Dipper smirked.  “Unfortunately, I doubt we can glean much from here.  It’s already been cleaned and I suspect this woman is too clever to leave any traces behind.  But it’s worth a try at least.”

“Just remember that Dipper’s got that not-date with Pacifica,” Mabel reminded them.  “We’ll have to leave in thirty minutes to make it on time.”

“Not if I’m driving,” Stan pointed out.  “I can get you there in fifteen minutes. Ten if I really tried.”

“Uh, thirty minutes is fine,” Dipper said quickly.  “I want to actually survive this summer. Anyway, even if we don’t find any clues here, at least now we know her name.”  He took out his phone and looked at the picture he had taken of the sign in form. “It might not be much but it’s a start.”  He read the signature. “Jenna Myles. Something tells me that we’ve not seen the last of her.”

* * *

 

Jenna Myles, sorceress and business woman basked in the sun at the resort, sipping at a cocktail she was too young to drink.  Still, the staff weren’t paid to ask questions about age, especially when so many of the clients had done so much to try and keep their looks youthful for as long as possible.  Even if they did question her she had a perfume that gave her more than a little extra charm with men so as long as she avoided the few female staff she could drink whatever she wanted.  And at these prices who were they to complain anyway? But the sun was high, the breeze was cool, the drinks were nice and the food was even better so the cost was well worth it in her opinion.  She stretched and yawned, still slightly drained from casting the spells for her clients. She smiled contentedly as she closed her eyes and just enjoyed herself.

She had almost drifted off when she felt a shadow fall over her.  “You’re in my light,” she said. When the shadow didn’t move she opened her eyes and glared at the culprits.  “Oh God,” she groaned, seeing who it was. “What do you three want now?”

“We want our money back!” Marcey said, a tube leading to from her nose to the portable oxygen tank at her feet, Whitney and Pamela nodding beside her.  “You gave us faulty bodies and-”

“Sorry, no refunds,” Jenna yawned, rolling on her side to turn away from them.  “Wait a minute!” she cried suddenly, sitting up to face them and removing her sunglasses to get a better look at them.  “You’re back in your bodies! How?”

“‘Cause of that dumb kid,” Whitney rasped, shaking a trembling fist at the teen.  “He called that uncle of his and he used magic to get us out!”

“What dumb kid?” Jenna asked.  “What uncle?”

“The brother of the girl you gave me!” Marcey snapped.  “With the stupid name! He said there are gnomes and goblins and shapeshifters and who knows what else!  He figured out we were imposters in two days and then called his uncles and one of them cast a spell to get us out.”

“Sounds like a pretty smart kid to me,” Jenna muttered, thinking hard.  “And gnomes and goblins? I thought they’d all died out. Hmm...Okay, what about this uncle of his?”

“You said was a scientist!” Pamela snapped.  “He wasn’t a scientist, he was a magician! And there were two of them so your information was wrong about that!”

Jenna stared at her, the only one among the three without any obvious health issues besides old age.  “Dear God you are saggy,” she breathed. “Seriously, a swimsuit at your age? I think I’d die of embarrassment if I became that droopy.  Anyway, my information said that only one Pines brother was still alive. Which brother was it?”

“Don’t talk to my friend like that,” Marcey growled.  “Ever. And I’m assuming it was the other twin. Unless they all looked alike.  Now, you are going to give us our money back because those bodies were not to the standard we were expecting.  You turned Whitney straight of all things, I had to take some sort of horrid energy drink to stop myself collapsing-”

“I warned you,” Jenna shrugged.  “Let me guess, no major issues with Pamela’s new form?  That’s because she actually did a bit of research beforehand while you two just wanted to rush in.  I sent you emails, saying it was too soon to transfer but you just ignored me. Isn’t my fault you didn’t listen.  So I don’t owe you anything. You don’t read the fine print then any mishaps are on you. You’re a lawyer,” she smirked.  “You should know that. Now I’m on vacation right now but if you want to try again later, I should be back in the office in two weeks time and we can discuss things further then.  But I’m afraid my prices will be a bit steeper because I just don’t like you and I know you can afford it. Now if you’ll excuse-”

“Do you have any idea what we can do to you?” Marcey growled, the sorceress pausing as she reached for her drink.  “I can find something on you. Doesn’t matter what, I can find even a little thing and get you thrown away for years.  See that drink you’re too young for? Bet you’ve got a fake ID somewhere. Whitney’s got the money. Pam’s got the pull. We could get you locked up in one of the prisons here. Wonder what this country’s jails are like?”

Jenna was silent as she put her sunglasses back on and sipped her drink as the women gave her smug stares.  She finished the drink and gave a satisfied belch just to annoy them. “That does sound unpleasant,” she agreed.  “But the real question is do you know what I can do to you?” she gestured in the air and all three women gasped as they clutched at their chests.  “See, what you don’t understand is that your time has come and gone,” Jenna explained as they fell to their knees.  "While you’re complaining about how the youth of today is squandering their opportunities, you’ve ignored the youths like me.  I might not have your education but I’m just as smart. Just as dedicated. Just as ruthless.” A few of the resort workers and other vacationers saw the elderly women in distress and rushed to help until Jenna waved at them and a puzzled expression crossed their faces and they returned to what they were doing before.  “The only difference is that my skills are a bit more specialised,” she said, kneeling as the women groaned. “Which means you can’t figure out how to stop me. I’ve literally got power that you can’t imagine. But I’m not going to kill you,” she sighed, gesturing in the air again as the women felt the pain subside, Marcey desperately pawing at her oxygen tank to help her lungs.  “Because it’s bad for business. But we’re done. I did my part, you didn’t listen. So this is all on you as far as I’m concerned.” She collected her empty glass and her laptop from under her chair and slipped her sandals back on. “Have a nice life, ladies,” she said as she left them struggling to get back to their feet. “Enjoy what’s left of it.”

She made her way to a different pool and approached the bar, almost collapsing into the stool as she ordered another drink and dabbed at a bloody nose.  She groaned in frustration and requested extra ice, putting the cold glass to her head when it came. Thankfully they were old and very frail so the spell hadn’t been too difficult.  It was easier than it would have been if she’d tried it on a single healthy person but in her already weakened state she should have been more careful. This was why she preferred potions, longer to prepare and usually weaker but at least they didn’t hurt her as long as she was careful.  She set her laptop on the counter and scrolled through some of the notes she had made earlier. “Stanford Pines,” she mumbled as she read. “Stanley Pines. How do you know so much about magic? Why would two brothers pretend to be one? And Dipper Pines…how did you discover them so soon?”  

She finished her drink and ordered another, making her way to an empty deckchair.  She put such thoughts aside for the moment. She still had two weeks of vacation to enjoy.  And after that there were still other clients demanding her attention.

She had always intended to return to that town, to find its magic and see what she could learn.  But now she might not have to. Now it sounded as if there was someone who had already done that for her.  She smiled as she thought of the young teen boy and a special potion she’d been working on that just might be perfect for this situation.  She closed her eyes and smiled as the sun caressed her skin.  

Oh yes, life was looking good.

THE END


End file.
